River Town Folk

I don't normally make fun of Iowans but this story was too juicy to pass up. Besides, Clinton, Iowa is one of those river towns best described this way by some folks but not me, of course: "Burlington, Iowa; the as*hole of the nation but Clinton is 60 miles up". The dude in the upper left corner could pass for a rock star or Rasputin. The poor fella in the lower left was in the movie, Bonnie and Clyde--I think. Isn't he Michael J. Pollard?  Grandma has been mummified and was a Civil War prostitute . Who in their right mind would steal a flat-bottom boat to float 2,500 miles to New Orleans? My best answer is Dr. Drugs. I spent a week in Clinton one day. They have a celebration every year called the May Fly Festival. For twenty-four hours millions of May Flys die on the streets. It's a sight to behold and the citizenry relish it.

"Four people who are accused of stealing a motorless 18-foot flat-bottom boat in Clinton had plans to drift to the mouth of the Mississippi River before the boat struck a dam Monday night, Scott County Sheriff Dennis Conard said.
Christopher Allen Rannow, 25, of Clinton, Anna T. Nelson, 32, of Clinton, and Sherrie Lynn Holloway, 52 of Hanover, Ill., each are charged with one count of third-degree theft and one count of harassment of a public official. Jay Michael Parsi, 20, of Hanover, Ill., is charged with one count of third-degree theft"
Quad-City Times: June 5, 2012.