Traumatized by the Movies

I like going to the movies. I've always liked the movies. When I was a kid, growing up in a town of twelve thousand Midwest souls, I went to the movies twice a week. My favorites were cowboy movies and horror shows. Sometimes, I had to go with my older sister. That was yucky since she always liked musicals or the Doris Day type of lovey movies. You remember; seems like she and Rock Hudson were always in them; eventually kissin' and huggin'.
There are certain movies that stick in your mind and you get shivers up your spine just thinking about a cinema memory. I try to avoid these movies because of the bad feelings I get. Life's tough enough without self-inflicting mental suicide. Saving Private Ryan is considered a classic film. It most likely is but I can't watch it anymore. There was a hand to hand combat scene when a German plunged a bayonet into an American soldier's abdomen. I dislike war movies. I don't enjoy seeing people being blown to bits and I don't like seeing people die in massive numbers. Movies with swords, arrows, and boiling oil fall into the same category.
I used to love vampire flicks. Stick with me now. I also had a tendancy to put ketchup on almost everything I ate. I saw a Dracula show when I was around age ten. It was in black and white but just as some guy plunged a stake into the chest of a female vampire the movie went to color. It was horrible; blood sprayed like an erupting geyser. The scene reminded me of ketchup on a ham sandwich. To this day I cannot eat it. I like ham and I like ketchup, just not on the same slice of bread.
Every kid in the world has seen Bambi. Talk about trauma. How sad was it when Bambi's mom got killed? I don't like crying in a movie but I did. So, thanks Walt Disney. Today, there are about a gazillion deer running around smashing into cars because he made a food source human.
Our good friends, Craig and Pat Burroughs, were over to the house yesterday and told us about seeing a movie that came out on Christmas Day called Marley and Me. Lizzie and I had seen previews of it. I gave a lot of thought to going. The trailers showed a yellow Lab pup reeking havoc on humankind due to bad puppy behavior.
It's owners were doing everything possible to love their cute, furry friend. The previews showed them taking the pooch to a "Dog Whisperer" person. The movie appeared to be happy and funny and it looked like something my four year old grandson could see. I thought it was a comedy and I could just imagine my little buddy giggling all the way through. We lucked out. Craig told us that Marley the dog was, at movie's end, put to sleep; killed; euthanized; died, whatever. What is wrong with Hollywood! These people killed the damned dog and I wouldn't have known if I hadn't heard it from friends. And, it was a Christmas movie to boot! I have to wonder how many millions of little boys and girls are crying themselves to sleep at night thinking about their own, Old Yeller.
The wife and I are going to the movies today. It's her pick and I won't know what it's going to be until we get there. I do know it's at an avant- garde theater so this means, for me, it'll be nap time. She likes movies where somebody reads a poem for two hours. The English Patient was that way. That's okay, though. I'll take a bottle of ketchup for my popcorn and I won't want to jump off a cliff when it's over.

uber-cool

There is a recent picture of our President-elect floating around. Reuters news service has titled it: Uber-Cool. It shows Obama with a ball cap on backward. This may be a small thing but, for me, the quirkiness of it requires further explanation from----- moi. In my high school coaching days my counterparts and I always noticed with great hilarity "wannabe dads" who, when a game got exciting, would flip their ball caps backward. Some of you may not be familiar with "wannabe". The dads who want to be where the action is, i.e. They fashion themselves as coaches since they watch a lot of sports on TV. We coaches, normally while scouting, used to make book on how long, during a game, it would take for the flip to occur. You could just feel it coming on. The wannabe was usually the president of the Booster Club and his son was a marginal player. They were so excitable a heart attack was always on the table. If their team came from behind to go ahead you knew the cap flip was imminent. Wannabes always wanted to hang out with the coaching staff. Lord knows why. If you were a banker making six figures would you hang out with a bunch of schmucks making 30K? Better question: if you could afford Chivas Regal why would you want to be with the guys who knew a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best could set back their kids college fund? I guess it's just a guy thing. And, don't take offense if some of you readers occasionally do this flippy thing. Sometimes Tiger does it when lining up a putt. Brett Favre does it on the sidelines putting on a headset. I'm not a carpenter or plumber but I can imagine a "flip" when working in close quarters.
I'm placing Barack in with the 'guy thing'. He plays a lot of basketball with his buds. I'm now 62. In my early years I was a baseball catcher in Little League, Babe Ruth League, High School, college and semi-pro. God strike me dead if I'm lying but, except for my baseball days, I have never worn a cap backward. When I was younger it just wasn't hip. Actually, I doubt anyone thought of it. If someone did another guy would just say, "hey, why is your cap on backwards?". Yep, in my youth no one would call a guy "dude" either. It's like the High Five. Who knew?
Personally, after January 20, I do not want to see the occupant of the Oval Office with a cap on backward--anytime, anywhere!
It just doesn't inspire a whole lot of confidence when I see this from the leader of the free world unless he, Vladimir Putin or Hugo Chavez get in a pick-up game of hoop. But this is just me. I used to get irritated looking at Bubba's milky white, flabby thighs when he tried to make us think he was a runner. I'll give Clinton this much. I don't think he was a flipper.

TV Shows and Movies

I'm spending quite a bit of time on the computer. Way back when, sometime in November, I wrote about being on my computer longer than all Pentagon workers combined--daily. Something is happening and whatever it is I'm becoming an expert. It's both a time killer and a trivia contest. Let's say I'm watching reruns of NCIS. This is not unimaginable since I do it Monday through Friday, three hours a day. I like Mark Harmon. He plays an NCIS investigator and is the lead actor. I had never heard of NCIS(Naval Criminal Investigative Service) and it's been on since 2003. They are like the FBI except investigate for the Navy, usually strange murders with twisted story lines. Truth be told, I have a mini- crush on Sasha Alexander; Caitlin Todd in the series. She was a government agent on the show until she died. In her last episode the poor girl took a bullet between the eyes. Fans of the show were outraged since she was a fav. It was later revealed she wanted out of the series. I don't know why. Did you know she is married to the son of Carlo Ponti and Sophia Loren? How do I know this? Well, when I'm watching TV and a character comes on the screen and I see something of interest I quick, quick google a name or episode to find the answer.
The thing is, her replacement was in the next episode. TV is great. Sasha dies, we remember her for an episode, a new character moves in and in a sixty minute segment Sasha is a distant memory. The new lady is Cote de Pablo. Her name on the show is Ziva David. She has a lot in common with Alexander. They're both hotties.
This google thing just grabbed me by the throat this morning. I was channel switching. If there was a world championship of "switchers" I would own the Belt. Anyway, I happened to come across the movie: Close Encounters. The more I saw the blond lady who was the mother of the little cute kid, Barry, the more flumoxed I became. You'll remember that he was captured by aliens in the early part of the movie. This led me to think, "Hmm, I've seen this movie a number of times and I should know this woman who plays his mom." I checked out cast members, saw her name is Melinda Dillon then continued googling: I knew I'd seen her in something else. Do you remember? If you do, congratulations. She played Ralphie's mom in the classic, A Christmas Story. It seems I'm on this age thing constantly but I can't let this pass. Movies keep us young. We see a person and watch a movie over and over and the person stays the same through the years. This is why I still have a thing for Loretta Young and Donna Reed. Do not, please, tell my son about Ms. Reed. She will always be his fantasy girl; his and his alone. Melinda Dillon, to me, is always going to be a youthful, blond lady. In movies, yes, but in real time she's nearly seventy years old. Shocking! I wanted to know if she was married or had a family so I googled. You'd have to be a real trivia buff on this one. Her hubby played the news editor in the movie, Fletch. He was also a spiritualist in Steve Martin's movie, All of Me. Can't remember? Well, google it! Usually I want a bio on the person so I type their name then wiki for wilkipedia. It's pretty slick. If they're excellent looking(a female) then I click their name and photographs. Understand, I find a reason to do this most nights. Three days ago I happened to be watching a TV Show with my wife called, Sell This House. The host is a young lady named Tanya Memme; Memme as in "memorable". She is all that and could be a double for Shania Twain. The google on her is she's a Canadian, too. It seems we import a lot of those. She grew up near Niagara Falls so that's kinda like being an American. Beauty contestant, singer, actress, and smart; I got all that from google. I'm guessing, Sell This House, will become my next most watched show---after NCIS.

Time Flies

January 1998 from Mike McCurry, Clinton spokesman, regarding the Monica Lewinsky mess: "more rather than less, sooner rather than later".
December 2008 from no Obama spokesperson, in particular, regarding the Rod Blagojevich corruption scandal: "less rather than more, later rather than sooner".

Notes on Labor and Security

Are you paying attention to cabinet appointments from our new leader? "We need to change the laws to take care of everyone out there". Hah! With that statement try and tell me socialism isn't geared up to take over in our new administration. The words came from Hilda Solis, newly named Secretary of Labor. This was only one of her unnerving comments after striding to the podium upon being introduced by The Man. Did you catch her act? Labor leaders: workers and management, did you hear her opening remarks? She gave significant segments of her acceptance speech in SPANISH! With her opening salvo Solis provided an invitation for all south of the border to c'mon in. Hilda Solis gives new meaning to staying in high school, junior high or quite possibly, completion of a GED. Solis makes Jocelyn Elders sound like, well, Obama.
The man of Hope and Change is now telling us that it won't happen in months but in years. There are going to be any number of the faithful disappointed while they try to figure out how to pay for their mortgage and put gas in their car. And I thought he was going to do it all and real, real soon.
Some of you think I'm a reactionary and pooh-pooh what I write as over the top but I'll say it again: the guy is a Marxist. All one has to do is say, "Hilda Solis" to understand. Take the time to read his policy statements. I have a friend who happens to be a hard core Lib. This person prefaces political comments with "I feel". That's the liberal in them. Conservatives preface their remarks with "I think".
Just in from the Fox New Channel; John Brennan, recently nominated by Obama to head the CIA has had his nomination withdrawn. According to news sources, a handful of Left Wing bloggers, guys like me except much more influential and on the other side, led the charge against and succeeded in bending Obama's ear. It seems Brennan was dogged in his pursuit of terrorists. Uh-oh! He even supported waterboarding. Oh my!
It has been revealed that David Bonier, former representative from Michigan(D) is a member of the Democratic Socialists of America Party whose branch office is in Boston. Bonier is a member of Obama's economic transition team. It also has been revealed that Hilda Solis, endorsed by the Socialist and Communist Parties of American, was the keynote speaker at last year's California Socialists of American convention. What a surprise.

Congressional Pay Raise

The elected and, some selected, on Capitol Hill got another pay raise over the night. It came to $4,700 per. To add to your tax bill multiply the pay raise by 545 to get the new total. If you're too lazy it's $25,615,000. They didn't vote on it since it's an automatic thing. In order to "freeze" their pay increases there has to be a vote approved by both houses of Congress. I'm sure that next year action will be taken to curtail the next raise. If not then, when hell freezes over.

The Christmas Party

Elizabeth and I attended a Christmas party this evening. It was one of those old fashioned types that don't occur much anymore. Guests said, "Merry Christmas" when they walked in the house. We hugged friends we hadn't seen in months and told funny stories about ourselves, talked about aches and pains and spoke of our grandchildren. The younger guests reveled in stories of their children. I noticed how people were laughing. That's nice. I don't think I laugh enough and being around friends like these makes me laugh and smile.
The food and drink were marvelous. There was a hot punch, a glog thing with whipped cream on top. I ate peanut brittle. It's been years since I had peanut brittle; guess it's considered unhealthy. Does peanut brittle have sugar in it? My favorite snack is popcorn. I ate popcorn with crunchy sweet tidbits mixed in. The chilled shrimp were as big as Ballpark Franks and, along with the buffalo wings, I ate enough for a roomful of homeless people. They had bruschetta! It's one of the few things I eat with tomatoes. It was served with white cheese and came hot out of the oven. Even in Italy you can't get bruschetta with hot cheese. The coup de grace was the double chocolate cake. I held myself to two pieces ; the second piece I drowned in whipped cream just to be decadent. It was all fabulous. My friends had a real Christmas tree and it was filled with lights and all types of decorations. The house was festive. Good smells, good food, good drink and good friends were in abundance. It was a Christmas movie minus a curmudgeon, a cooked goose and a kid with a gimpy leg.
A brief topic of conversation was my internet postings. Our host mentioned how he enjoys them but thought I'd been on a rant lately. He didn't explain what type of rant but he's probably thinking "heavy material" so I thought I'd try to find more humorous subjects. This doesn't mean I can't make fun of political things. Consider what Will Roger's wrote. Making fun of politicians is just too easy. From the time we left the party it took an hour to mine the mother lode.
The subject for it was poetry. I came across these pieces of "poetry" at The American Thinker. I want you to be aware of this magazine article so you don't hurl your hurl at me. You are about to be treated to the writings of Elizabeth Alexander, professor of African American studies at Yale. Please read carefully and think: lava lamps, bongs, tie-dyed clothes and doobies. This is where she's coming from. It's straight out of the heyday of Dr. Timothy Leary.
Titled: Neoatology

Is
funky, is
leaky, is
a soggy, bloody crotch, is
sharp jets of breast milk shot straight across the room,
is gaudy, mustard-colored poop, is
post partum tears that soak the baby's lovely head.
Then everything dries and disappears.
Then everything dries and disappears.
This is from the woman Barack Obama has selected to read her poetry at his inauguration. She is following in the footsteps of of Robert Frost for John F. Kennedy and Maya Angelou for Wm. Jefferson Clinton.
We're not finished yet. Next poem, please:
It's title is: Underground
Under water grottos, caverns
Filled with apes
That eat figs.
Stepping on the figs
That the apes
Eat, they crunch.
The apes howl, bare
Their fangs, dance
Tumble in the
Rushing water,
Musty, wet pelts
Glistening in the blue

The author of this is Barack Obama.
I'd like to offer my own opinion as to the winner but since I've never actually written a poem sober mine doesn't count. I select Alexander. The line about "the breast milk being shot straight across the room" has more of an earthy quality to it and is,well, slightly kinky. The "mustard-colored poop" thing was a big turnoff, though.
Sorry, Obama's just didn't do anything for me. Apes, fangs, wet pelts; what's up with that?
I wonder if Robert Frost can still roll over in his grave? Can Maya Angelou roll over in her grave if she's still alive? After being exposed to this I'm guessing she tries.
Pretty good entry, huh? And just think, it wouldn't have happened except for a Christmas Party. It is a wonderful life!