Did I blog on my recent colonoscopy? I'll be frank when I write I was quite concerned. It'd been seven years since my last one and after I received those results my doctor said, "I'll see you in two years". Time flies, huh? During my most recent visit to my GP our conversation got around to colonoscopies and why I had waited so long. I mentioned to him, "Doc, you get paid to remind me of these things. Get with the program". At any rate, I phoned the hospital and set up an appointment. The receptionist put me down on the schedule and then responded with, "Where have you been? You're considered high risk for cancer. Now you understand my reason for worry. Cancer is one of those words not equated with cotton candy.
It's important to make funny jokes going into an iffy situation. Whether it's getting on an airplane, climbing Mt. Everest or having a colonoscopy a person should use some levity in the face of serious danger and/or death. Prior to being knocked out I made a lame joke to the entire staff about doctor's burying their mistakes and then I drifted off into La-la land.
After the wife drove me home and was slowly escaping from my groggy fog I remembered the "burying their mistakes" comment. The shortest verse in the Bible is "Jesus wept". The shortest version for lame comedy is, "I cringed".
I've come to the conclusion that I need to rectify the 'cringe' situation by coming up with a few colonoscopy jokes for the good doctor. If these were original I'd go on Jimmy Kimmel but they're borrowed. Regardless, I laughed out loud reading them. They're my type of humor.
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "Boy, now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment