Idle Thoughts From Dublin Ohio

It's a big week coming up in Dublin this week. First, I'm due for a colonoscopy. I haven't had one in two years. I used to dread those things. Not so much these days. The way I figure it'll give me something to do.

Second, the Memorial Golf Tournament is taking place. We live in a condo across the street from the course. In the old days I'd attend every session. Thank the Lord for freebies. These days the television works just fine.

The tourney is limiting attendance to 10,000 as opposed to the normal 30,000. Masks are required. This eliminates half the fun of attending. I used to like going to look at, aside from the golfers, pretty girls. Now, they'll all look the same--------like Muslims.

My dog, Charlie, is having a difficult time with heat. We'll be in the 90's for the next week. He used to sleep in his cage. Now he sleeps under the bed. My buddy told me it's cooler under there. Maybe he thinks he's in a cave.

I've wanted to take a road trip-------anywhere. I've looked at towns I've never seen. I've contemplated going to see friends. But, nobody wants to take a chance on getting the virus. Who or what do they think I am.

Following up on an email I received from the Council Bluffs Cowboy about coronavirus being bodily eliminated by that area below the equator. Did you know, on average, in the United States our fine citizens flatulate a total of 3.25 trillion times daily? Half the population are women. Many women wear short skirts and sheer panties. I think we should have protests about this. Women are creating Coronavirus problems beyond the scope, Humanity is in severe danger because of their selfishness.

The warning should be: Stay in your homes, girls. Have flatulence at your own risk.