Just Bury Me, Will You?

There have been a couple of funerals lately that have gotten me to consider my big farewell as I push toward the big dirt nap,

The more important a person is seen the more funerals they get regardless of the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Joe Schmo aren't allowed family members to attend.

George Floyd had three funerals. John Lewis had at least that number and was allowed to lie in state in the capitol rotunda. I hope he enjoyed it.

The Queen already knows my plans. First, my obituary is to be limited if I even have one at all. Word of mouth is the best way to do these announcements today. My thinking is why spend money for some newspaper to place an ad? The computer and iPhone do the same just as quickly.

Admit it, funerals and the viewing are a pain in the rear. People are forced to drive or fly from out of town to bid adieu. That costs hard earned cash. Then they have to pay for a motel and meals and all the rest of the stuff that goes with it.

The funeral home has to set up and they charge money for you to come sit and listen to words of praise from the mourners.

Here's my plan. Her Majesty knows that my casket will be placed at the entrance to the church. If people attend my farewell Mass they can look at me on their way to their pew. The Mass takes place. If anyone wants to say a few words at the time for the homily they can walk up to the alter. I'm covering my bases on this one. There is very little chance a person would want to say disparaging remarks about me in the House of God.

Next stop is the cemetery and pot me in the ground. I have told my wife to not have this ceremony on a Saturday. I don't want to screw up anyone's week-end.