The M Word From Jeff Foxworthy

1. If you grow and refine heroin

for a living, but morally object to

the use of liquor,

You may be a Muslim.

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun

and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but

can't afford shoes, 

You may be a Muslim.

3. If you have more wives than

teeth,

You may be a Muslim.

4. If you wipe your butt with your

bare hand, but consider bacon to be

unclean,

You may be a Muslim.

5. If you think vests come in two

styles, Bullet-proof and suicide,

You may be a Muslim.

6. If you can't think of anyone

that you haven't declared jihad

against,

You may be a Muslim.

7. If you consider television

dangerous, but routinely carry

explosives in your clothing,

You may be a Muslim.

8. If you were amazed to discover

that cell phones have uses, other

than setting off roadside bombs,

You may be a Muslim.

9. If you have nothing against

women and think every man should own at

least four, then

You, too, may be a Muslim