Sunday, April 25, 2021

Getting Ready To Bust Loose

 Just as elephants go home to die, salmon have their last swim going upriver and Monarch butterflies fly to their demise in Mexico Ol' MJ Hawkeye has been on the prowl to return to his roots. A born Midwestern lad I am and always will be. Don't get me wrong when I write Ohio is a good state and Dublin a wonderful community but the Central Time Zone is the place to be. It's been mentioned before, even though Ohioans refute it, the Buckeye state is not in the Midwest. Any state in the eastern time zone is not in the Midwest----period. 

Every three or four months I'll get on the computer and search through for communities I believe would be 'cool and neat' places to live but I've never pulled the trigger. Since I've reached the ripe and putrid age of 75 it's now or never.

It's important to keep this searching away from Her Majesty since she gets all bent out of shape due to the fact we've lived in the Columbus area for thirty-two years and will have to uproot. Recently I discovered a town in southwest Missouri that tickles my fancy named Ozark. It contains 20,000 people. Lakes abound and I'm only a few minutes from who I now call my best friends, doctors. I like that. It's located 15 minutes from Springfield (pop. 230,000) and thirty minutes from the playground of Branson. What is it that appeals to me? Well, for starters, few stoplights. That's a biggie for me. It's one of my bugaboos about living in an area with 1.6 million. Stop, go, stop, go every four blocks is no way to live. I'm almost certain the folks in Branson see people on the street and greet them with 'howdy'. There's nothing quite like a good 'howdy' to perk up a guy.

Reality set in when we had a visitor over for dinner last Sunday and he was born and raised in guess where? Yep, Ozark, Missouri. After he left I filled The Lady in on my discovery. As is the case we had to talk about it. Isn't that always the way? Let's talk about it has been the bane of husbands since Adam and Eve roamed the earth. Her suggestion is to spend the winter there to see if we like it. My suggestion was to throw caution to the proverbial wind. But that's me---ready, fire, aim is my mantra, common sense be damned.

I've decided to drive to Ozark in June if Charlie lets me. Oops, if The Queen lets me. Truth be told I have the okay. Truth be further told I'm sure she wants me out of the house since I haven't been anywhere for a year and a half. 

It's exciting to have a new challenge, an idea that brings about excitement. Oh, and golf courses abound in the area. I'm also not stupid. Research told me there are four knit shops withing a 15 minute drive. For the wife that's like telling W.C. Fields there's a bar on every corner.

The idea of the entire scenario, for me, is akin to signing up for Little League Baseball or waiting for that bike on Christmas morning. It doesn't take much to make me happy.

The most difficult part is getting there. We've moved five times together. What's one more especially when it's going to be our eternal home?

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