Wednesday, June 16, 2021

The Pros And Cons Of A Useless College Degree

 We want you to be as informed as possible before you decide to go to college. Here are some pros and cons: 


Pro: You'll learn to master genderqueer feminist intersectionality! Yay! 

Con: Genderqueer feminist intersectionality isn't as useful as burger flipping.


Pro: Grandma cares about your degree.

Con: No one else does.


Pro: You won't have to work with your hands when you graduate.

Con: You most likely won't find any work when you graduate.


Pro: Bernie promised debt forgiveness.

Con: He lost the election.


Pro: Your diploma will look great in a frame.

Con: It will hang on the wall of your room in your parent’s basement.


Pro: Getting out from under your parents’ roof

Con: Dave, your 500-pound roommate who wants the top bunk


Pro: College Football games

Con: Sitting in the nosebleed section, behind all the people with money and jobs 


Pro: Meet exciting new people!

Con: They all have chlamydia.


Pro: The satisfaction of knowing you helped fund the education of the next generation

Con: Realizing all your money went to a new trampoline park for next year’s incoming class


Pro: You get to learn PowerPoint!

Con: You now have to use PowerPoint.


Pro: You’re learning from the world’s best

Con: Pretty much everything you learn is readily available online and free

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