Yessiree Bob, it's February 14 and you know what that means, right? It's the day boys, young men and husbands up to the age of near death are required to buy a gift for that special person.
I awakened this morning and The Queen had a card for me. It was lovely and was signed in the most wonderful way: 'Love, Me". If I'm not mistaken it's the same card I received last year but this is okay. I told The Lady I'd give her my gift in five minutes and since a promise is a debt unpaid I came through for her. I told her I'd walk Charlie for his daily constitutional. Hey! It's a bigger deal than you think. We had snow last evening and the streets are still icy.
Around 2 pm while I was at Kroger's and saw the floral display. I saw a beautiful bouquet, picked it up and looked at the price tag. It said $55.00 and I said, "Over my dead body." But, I didn't find roses for $23.00 and it seems I've been giving her roses every year for 52 years. Except, the first year I didn't have any money so I took a sheet of paper with crayons and drew roses. Don't laugh. It worked.
I can't remember many specific gifts I given Her Majesty or other females in my life. I do recall when I was around 7 I gave my mom a carousel with gold tin horses and instead of saddles there was an opening for candles. Truth be told I bought it for me because I liked it. I don't know where I got the money. It most likely came from my grandma.
When I was 17 I took Diana Tingwald to a Valentine dance at our high school. We double dated using my car with Jude Rolfes and Carol Mondt. My mom insisted I give my date a gift and she picked out a bracelet made of wood. Really, it looked absolutely ridiculous; like something one would win at the carnival. Before we arrived at Diana's house I stopped and showed it to my posse. We all had a big laugh. I still remember how the girl fawned over it like she meant it. I'm sure she used it as kindling to start a bonfire.
On this day in 1986 I was teaching American History at Alleman HS in Rock Island, Illinois. It was the second period class and during the course of the hour I was bantering with the kids about Valentine Day and gifts expected. Sue Quade sat in the front row. I know she had a steady boyfriend so I asked her, "Sue, does it make a difference to you the gift you receive?" She said, "Not to me but if my boyfriend wants some action it'd better be a good one."
Sue said out loud what many women think. But, on the other hand look at it from a man's point of view. If I game my lady a crummy gift I might not get a meal worthy of a hobo. If I give her a lollapalooza of a present I can start planning a five day golf trip with my buddies to Myrtle Beach; wives not included. Young guys will learn this tack eventually.
In life sex can be overrated.
No comments:
Post a Comment