Readers of this blog know I have some serious sleep problems. Five years ago I attended an overnight sleep center. It was determined I had sleep Apnea. Of course, this required getting one of those stupid machines with a cord and mask and having air blown into my mouth, or was it my nostrils? Whatever. I did this for a year then the mask insert broke and I couldn't find one that didn't scratch the inside of my nostrils so I placed the machine in the closet where it now resides along with every other dumb item I've purchased.
As bad as my sleeping is it has only gotten worse in the past three months. Every day it's the same scenario.
Charlie and I watch Tucker Carlson until its conclusion at 9 pm. At 9:01 if I haven't left the couch Charlie's on his hind legs staring at me knowing it's time to go upstairs to bed.
I'll be on my back and reading until 10:00. At this time I'm exhausted with droopy eyelids and a body that's saying, "God, take me now" and shut off the lights. By 10:30 I'm more with it. At 11:00 it's like it was noon and I'm ready to golf. Last Monday I tossed and turned until four am. I was in misery.
Usually around 1:15 I'll start considering what I can do to nod off. It's always the same. I bet if I go downstairs and grab a couple of saltines and some milk that'll help. Then I'll tell myself, "No, I don't want to eat anything" full well knowing I'll be in the kitchen within 15 minutes. So, at 1:30 I'm in the cabinets opening a bag of crackers and then retrieving a glass from the cupboard. As I open the fridge I notice a box on top. This is when I go into a coma absolutely forgetting everything I've ever been told about food at night.
Inside the box are donuts and I say, "One won't hurt." As I pull the apple fritter out of the box my hand brushes up against a bag which contains macadamia nut chocolate chip cookies. One wouldn't hurt, would it? Besides, I'm in a coma so who knows or cares.
Then I lay the crackers on the night table forgetting about them and slug down the pastries. It's at that time I come out of my coma cursing at myself and ask that question we all know the answer to but do it anyway; "sugar doesn't keep me awake, does it?"
Male menopause came into my mind out of the blue around 2 am this morning. I don't know why but it did so I looked up the symptoms. This can be scary because if one wants to have a disease, any disease, look up symptoms. Regardless, male menopause can be a continual tiredness. Got it. It can cause one to not be able to sleep at night. Got that big time. There are a bunch of other ones but I've convinced myself I'm not the viral young stud of past years who is not be able to procreate like Ghengis Khan anymore.
What a shame.
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