Your special writer here recognizes his faults. There are so many items in life I cannot perform and at my age I really don't care. It's good Her Majesty is alive because without her brain I'd be in Zoo Land and in a straight jacket.
A few years ago we had Spectrum TV then got rid of it because they started to get cocky by raising their prices. I didn't know much about Direct TV but when a representative came to the house and spewed his carnival speech I was all in. Besides, the price for television and internet was $94 a month and considering I only buy cheap instead of quality a deal was struck.
Oh sure, there were items with Direct I didn't care about. The Gay Channel didn't thrill me as didn't the Scientology Network. Then there were a slew of those HGTV channels. They even had one dedicated to having a better sex life. What a waste. I'd like to have a sex life period but those decades are long gone. In addition we, The Queen, and I had two smartphones. This is a sore subject in our marriage. Two years ago the wife wanted to buy me one for my birthday but I gave her an emphatic NO! I was more than content with my flip phone and then on that January day in opening my gift there it was---the one thing I didn't want was now mine. Well, even though we had been married for 50 years a guy cannot tell the lady to shove it where the sun don't shine. I acquiesced and from that day forward have used it reluctantly.
So, Spectrum offered us the same original price as Direct but two phones cost together $28 a month, unlimited calls and texts so we pulled the plug on Direct and here we are. But not quite. Trying to get rid of a network is pure hell. In talking to the guy who would end the contract he wouldn't let me off the hook. Then, after a half hour I had to lay down the law. I told him about my terminal disease and that was the final nail in the coffin. Then I had to go to AT&T to end my cell phone service. This was another piece of garbage. The long story short of it is a couple years ago I thought I'd lost a phone and went down to buy a new one. Silly me. The dude who sold it to me signed me up for another program. Well, I'm a technological moron so I thought I was only buying a $70 phone but what jag boy did was sign me up for another phone line without telling me. As it is it cost me $525 to get out of my contract. I wonder how much that guy will have to pay when I take a blade to his four tires?
I was half way home. Spectrum came to install our new system and I got new phones(free).
My brain is exhausted. I detest modern technology. If I can't figure it out in 14 seconds I'll throw an object against the wall hoping The Queen will handle it.
Then I got to thinking. If I bought a log cabin on four acres of land in Arkansas I might die happy. No electricity, no phone or computers, no modern conveniences; only a box of matches, canned food, a coffee pot and a pan along with Charlie. That's it. The simplicity of life is the most pleasant.
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