This 'N That in Port Charlotte, Florida

I AM living the American Dream. There aren't too many folks who can, on a whim, snag an airplane ticket and fly off to a warmer winter refuge for a few weeks of relaxation in the sun. Clarification necessary: a ticket was not snagged. It was about to expire and I needed to use it. I'm still a penny pincher. My ex-boss has a villa useable by former employees at a cost of nothing. I figured Port Charlotte, Fla. was as good a spot as any to while away the time while my ex-wife(see blog 12-15-13) was helping her Texas brother recuperate from hip surgery.
When traveling, guys like me should keep a daily diary. Anytime anyone travels they should keep a diary. The ex-wife and I have traveled Europe and she'll bring up a city or destination and I'll say, "I don't remember going to the Vatican". Stuff like that is frustrating and embarrassing.
Anyhoo,(my buddy in Oklahoma always says that), since I've arrived I've noticed a few things that are out of the norm.
I try to think I'm a good Catholic and I like confession because it's a sacrament but I've never had confession heard on the alter, directly in front of the congregation, five minutes before Mass began. The good Father felt it was necessary to speak as if he had a microphone attached to his vocal chords. I whispered. The interesting thing about going to confession at age 68 is it's the same as going at age 14. In my early teens I'd say, "Bless me Father for I have sinned--I had impure thoughts" At the age of 68 I'll say, "Bless me Father for I have sinned. I had impure thoughts". There were so many ladies with walkers and in canes in the congregation I was afraid they might act on my transgressions so I whispered my sin in Father's ear.
I was in a shopping mall and sat down to watch a group of 5 year olds strut their stuff onstage. It was an audition for beauty contests for kiddies. They were wearing false eyelashes and tight fitting clothes and their makeup was put on with a trowel. They strutted their stuff on a walkway while their mom smiled or grimaced based on how their hootchy- kootchy child performed.

I can't get used to old people. Florida has tons of old people. I know, I know, I'm old but I'm not old---old There's a difference between being mentally old and mentally young. I will forever be
a "looker". When the day comes that I can't enjoy a great set of pins underneath a short skirt drop me in a six foot hole. There's one other thing worse than being mentally old. It's being crotchety old.
There's a special place for those who are crotchety. It's called a home for nothing but crotchety people. They deserve each other. I was in our villa rec center and got too close to an old codger's pool cue. True story: He wanted to know why I did that? True answer: "Just to F up your day".
I've had an epiphany about staying young. If you want to be forever youthful play golf. I'm serious. Whiners, complainers, swearers and crotchety dudes not allowed. Here's what you get: green grass, mostly blue skies, water, beautiful trees, different types of birds, alligators and good company; all God's children should have this thrill.
Here's a money saving tip especially if you're a man, sans female companion, and don't give a hoot what people think. I rented a car from Budget for eleven days. It's a KIA, the size of a telephone booth and the final tab will be $490.00.
Three days ago I drove by a U-Haul joint. They were advertising those small moving trucks for $19.99 a day. Figure it out. I could have saved a couple hundo.
Fair warning if this bothers you and you're planning a visit to this community. Port Charlotte is very blue collar; tattoos and a pack of cigarettes rolled up in the sleeves of t-shirts. The ladies wear very revealing tops but their hooters hang down to their navels. You get the picture, right? Just down the road is Punta Gorda. It even sounds rich. It's not blue collar. That's where my boss lives.
I'll be looking forward to going back to Dublin, Ohio. One has to be from the Midwest to understand this. The only college sports in this area are The ACC and Southeast Conference; very boring for this guy. If you want to watch a Big Ten or Big Twelve game you have to buy it.
February is right around the corner. The days get longer and the sun shines warmer plus we only endure 28 more days of winter.
Life goes on.