In the nearly fifty-two years of sometimes wedded bliss Her Majesty has never asked me to go shopping and pick up candy canes. This morning I was told to buy this item or peppermint hard candy. So, Charlie and I jumped in the buggy and off we went to the local Kroger's. I scoured the aisles for the candy section because Kroger, just to be jerks, changes the food aisles every few weeks. Could we find either item? Not a single candy cane in sight. Heck, I can remember walking into a bank and they'd have a basket of the mini ones waiting to be taken by little kids and cheapskate old folks because the price was free.
After wading through thousands of shoppers on our fruitless journey we went across the street to Giant Eagle. It was the same story. I bought a pint of ice cream and immediately put it back when the check out lines looked like people waiting for their Covid shots so we left. I then drove to the Dairy Mart which is like going to a gas station. No candy there, either.
I'm asking a question after a statement. Last week I'd read that because of the boats sitting off shore filled with candy canes there might be a shortage. What is wrong with this country that we can't make a candy cane? Do they come from China, too? Or, does Santa have a monopoly in the North Pole. Are the ingredients that go into this type of, and I'll call it food, proprietary information?
Know what? I don't care. In the big scheme of things I'd rather have The Queen make chocolate chip cookies-------and she will-------candy canes be damned!
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