It's not good to start off a piece of witty repertoire' by being negative. Monday is no big deal for a 76 year old since it's the same as every other one except the day I attend Mass.
The boys from Muirfield are busy getting the grounds spruced up for Jack Nicklaus' Memorial Golf Tournament. When we moved into our condo fourteen years ago I thought I was the luckiest guy in the world because i always received freebies for grounds entry and once inside the food. It's not that way anymore since all my sources are dead and I'm too cheap to fork over the money especially when the TV and remote are nearby.
Have you ever heard of Dave Chappelle? He's a comedian and does what these guys do; he makes fun of people and situations and tells jokes. Chappelle was in Columbus the other night and did his schtick and there were many in attendance who booed. And why would that be you're asking yourself? Well, he made some jokes about the LGBTQ crowd and some took offense. What a bunch of pussies. What's a comedian supposed to do, talk about how to take lug nuts off of a tire rim?
Had I ever taken offense at what people said in my past life I'd be in the loony bin by now. I was born fourteen years, eleven months and three hundred fifty-nine days before John F. Kennedy took the presidential oath. I attended the Catholic schools up to 9th grade. When I arrived at high school it wasn't uncommon to be called a 'cat licker' or 'minnow muncher'(meatless Fridays, remember?). And the ones giving me these monikers were my teachers and coaches. When I was sixteen I asked a girl to the Homecoming dance. This, in itself, may sound silly to this generation. In those Dark Ages we didn't ask boys to be our dates. Anyway, the girl was a Lutheran and before she could say yes to me her parents had to give their permission so out to her place I went for one of those famous 'Are you going to try and convert my daughter' interviews.
Charlie and I went to our second favorite place today. After the park for his interminable peeing on bushes he likes going to Kroger's. Know what? Asians are adamant in wearing masks. I wonder if they know something we don't. I even saw a double masking Charlie Chan today. Or, maybe they had sex with a relative and were fearful of the Monkeypox.
As I walked down the food aisles and passed the peanut butter section I thought to myself, "In my life I'd wager six months Social Security checks that I've eaten by far more PB than any other item. For many years I was strictly a Skippy guy but in recent years I'll go with any generic brand and only for the price. Then I started considering what would be 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc. in consumption. My best guess is beer has an honored place. When it came to beer, and this is mostly likely I grew up in a smallish Iowa railroad town i always went for what was cheapest. Grain Belt always had a warm place in the cockles of my heart but in my mid-to late twenties you just couldn't pass on Milwaukee's Best and-----------------it was .90 cents a six pack. I mean, after three or four, who cares?
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