It Ain't Easy Being Me

It's been almost eight months since ink has hit the paper. I.e. I've written on this blog site. Don't get excited meine Freunde. It's an anomaly. The idea for this piece was brought on by newly exposed gay guy, Jason Collins of the NBA and a track and field man, Derrick Anderson, from The Ohio State University. Anderson, from Texas, exposed (ha-ha) himself to the Columbus Dispatch sports media for being homosexual. The writer of the piece(2 pages worth), Todd Jones, must be feeling like Joseph Pulitzer about this major scoop in journalism and his ability to have his column placed on page 1 of the sports section. It's like my son's used to say about guys like Dick Gephardt and Tom Daschle when they were running for office and looking for issue votes. "Oh, if only I had a lesbian child. Life would be wonderful and I'd pick a hundred or so votes". Todd Jones just found his Tom Daschle.
The real crux of this story is that I'm getting more than ill at the thought of these closet people and the fame they are receiving because they happened to be born with a certain gene that makes then all wishy washy when someone of a certain sex flashes their pearly whites. I don't want to hear about them, read about them or have feelings of sympathy or pride in their decision. Please, guys, keep it in the bedroom.
However, because of the hulabaloo raised about 'Coming Out' I've decided to contact Mr. Anderson and give him my life story. It will ease my conscience for all these years of deceit and I, too, will be able to come out of my own personal closet. It  will be therapeutic for all my family and for moi. You will be shocked, I promise.
It all started in 1962. I was a dating neophyte and for the Homecoming Dance at Boone High School I nervously asked Dianne Tingwald to be my date. The evening went well and then there was another date and another after that. Very soon we became an item. I also began noticing a change in my body. I had a tingly feeling in my stomach about Miss Tingwald. It wasn't long before we were doing things like kissing and kissing and more kissing. It's been fifty-one years since then and I want to announce that I, like Derrick Anderson, am telling all of you that I am a 'Flaming Heterosexual'. At the time I wasn't sure who to  tell. I didn't want to call the newspaper because those things weren't openly talked about. Most assuredly I couldn't tell Mr. Tingwald. He was a farmer and had forearms the size of hamhocks so I let it slide.
In '64 I left for college. I did everything possible to keep my sexuality under wraps. I dated other girls but didn't tell anyone, not even frat brothers. Besides, how would it look talking about my conques--oops--relationships.
In 1969 MJ Hawkeye made the ultimate move. I married a GIRL. Now, not only would my friends know the truth but the state of Iowa would learn the truth. Three children came along in forty-three years plus we've added nine grandchildren. I'm concerned and I'm nervous about what's to come with my admission to society. I suspect a member of the "Dispatch will be on my doorstep soon. I'm embarrassed but it's what had to be done(for the children).
Call it personal courage if you will but I thought it necessary to let the world know about my weird ideas, thoughts and sexuality.
It isn't easy being a heterosexual and I only ask one thing. Don't tell Lizzie. I don't think she suspects a thing.

The End Of Trail

My grandfather's name was Joseph Anthony Loehrer and he lived his entire adult life at 705-11th street in Boone, Iowa.  He was truly a great man. Grandpa was born in Milwaukee in 1888, moved to Boone in 1901 and finished out his life journey there in April of 1975. He didn't have many close friends that I knew about. He lived a solitary life after his beloved wife, Blanche, died in 1952. He much preferred to tend to his flowers, his gardening and listening to Jack Shelley news reports on WHO radio out of Des Moines.  Grandfather went to Mass on a daily basis until the day he died. I was having coffee in my old hometown three years ago with a man named Tom Matt. He is a former policeman and Boone historian. The subject of my grandfather came up and he related how he remembered him, at age 87, walking down the street, chin up, shoulders erect with a brisk walking gait. Grandpa always wore a Baker's cap. Maybe that's why I own six of them except mine are wider across the top.  I would never call my grandfather, 'Gramps'. That would be a sign of disrespect to this very German man. He didn't smile much. None of us Loehrer's do. We laugh and we chuckle but smiling, well, that must be a German thing, too. One time, when I was ten I visited Grandpa with my dad following Sunday Mass. As I walked in the front door I flippantly said, "Hello, Joe, whaddya' know"? He looked at me with a deadly stare then chuckled. The sweat was already on my brow as I prepared for a justified dressing down. When Grandpa died in April of that year in '75 I cried like I've never cried before. I shed tears because I knew I'd never see him again. I also sobbed uncontrollably because I knew there was so much more I wanted to ask him that I never got around to doing.
My grandfather's home was adorned with religious pictures, very large ones. I recall the Sacred  Heart of Jesus, the one of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The crucifix was in every room of the house. Above the entrance from the dining room to the living room was a picture of The End Of The Trail. I never asked Grandpa why it was there. I wish I had. I wonder if it had any significance. I'll never know.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my blog this last month. It started four years ago this October as a hobby, an alternative to doing crossword puzzles. I'd write three blogs a day, mostly opinion pieces. In 2012 I was doing fifteen to twenty on a daily basis, spending eight hours a day of my life putting articles, mostly conservative ones, on the site. I'd write opinion pieces, sometimes thinking I'm the next Joseph Pulitzer. Underconfidence has never been a problem for me.
With all this writing I had, in essence, become very selfish.I've decided I wanted to spend the mornings with Lizzie, drinking coffee and discussing the days events.  I want to plan our lives and the future. I want to spend as much time as possible with my best friend so I've decided to terminate my blog; doing it with happiness and satisfaction. For me this is my personal end of the trail.
My sincere thanks to everyone who came to my site. You gave me your most important commodity. You gave me your time.
God bless you all.
MJ Hawkeye

Mr. Egotist Speaks About Foreign Policy

After President Obama delivered remarks on Libya this morning from the White House--and before his planned trip to Las Vegas--he visited the State Department to deliver more personal and more private remarks. He wanted to offer encouragement after four State Department workers were murdered yesterday in Libya.
A State Department official described the event to the White House pooler.
"Obama spoke for about 15 minutes to a large crowd gathered in the courtyard in the middle of the State Department Building. There were at least a couple of hundred people gathered for the president's remarks, some people watching from the windows," according to the pooler.

He talked about how important the foreign service is and what a great job it does representing the U.S. abroad. He also had a line about how he understands the value of the foreign service because he spent so much time as a kid growing up abroad.

 

We do know that he spent time in Indonesia in Muslim schools and that he ate some snake and dog. And when he was in college he did visit Pakistan. How he got there and who paid for it is still a mystery. Add in the equation that, at the time he went, it was forbidden by our government. Someone get him a straight jacket. Four guys are murdered and he comforts them with stories of being a man-child in southeast Asia. His classmates may have called him "the turd from turdville".

The Cover-Up Begins

The attack on Americans in the Middle East wasn't about a movie, after all. They were coordinated to coincide with 9/11. The Center for Mid-East Affairs and the Detroit Free Press have stated that they were aware that something big was going to happen yesterday. The White House, along with Hillary, apologized then thanked the Libyan government for trying to get our people to safety. They got them to safety alright and then they informed the terrorists where they could be found. If the Free Press was privy to this information then the current administration had to be informed also. This is an act of war. What we heard from Hillary is the same old shrill shriek, "I'm shocked". What we heard from Obama was, "the perpetrators, with the help of the Libyan government, will bring these criminals to justice". Isn't that what Clinton said after the U.S.S. Cole was attacked? One would think that every 9/11 would cause increased security to take place in every embassy and consulate around the world. It's time to bring up Ann Coulter's famous quote again, "For liberals, history begins when they get out of bed in the morning".

Boobs

8:46 AM EDT is a significant day in America's history especially when it's on 9/11. Every single television station in America paid homage to the dead lost on that day because it was at that time that the first of the terrorist airplanes crashed into the World Trade Center. Did I write every television station? Let me correct myself. NBC ran another tribute. They interviewed Kim Kardashian Jenner and the focus of that newsworthy event was to talk about her breast implants. NBC should be boycotted by every sponsor and viewer. The real boob(s) happen to be NBC

Our Nation Is Disintegrating

September 12, 2012: Maybe it's a good thing that my computer is in the shop for repair and in order to vent a trip to the library is a mandatory. I made a quick trip out to Kansas on Saturday and returned yesterday. I'm fuming. Our state department officials are being murdered and our embassies attacked. An embassy located on foreign soil is the same as being in the USA. It's despicable. And what does our great leader do about it? He apologizes to the Muslim Brotherhood. He threw Hosni Mubarak under the bus and supported this group of anti-American terrorists. This was all precipitated because some ultra-right wing whack job religious leader from Florida made a movie about Mohammed. I listened to tapes from the film on my car radio. It sounds like something Harry Nicholson, Dick Musser and I would have put together for a 10th grade high school English class. A Coptic Christian in Egypt put it on Facebook and the murdering terrorists felt the need to attack embassy. Then Obama felt it necessary to exert world leadership and sent an apology to these camel jockeys. After that the violence spread to Libya. Tunisia then Libya instigated in the Arab Spring movement and now we have at least four dead State Department officials. In addition, Obama canceled a meeting with Israeli leader, Benjamin Netanyahu, because he was too busy to fit him in on his schedule. He wasn't too busy to campaign and schedule an appearance on an upcoming Letterman Show. As long as we're on the subject of being inept, what was the deal with Biden at Shanksville, Pennsylvania giving a tribute to the 9/11 dead? He called it a 'bittersweet' moment. What the hell was 'sweet' about that day? We're being run by idiots. And the worst is yet to come, I believe. John Thune, senator from South Dakota was on Fox last night telling us Moody's is probably going to downgrade our credit rating. Folks, hang onto you hats and get down on your knees and pray. The world is imploding right before our eyes.

Bill's Infidelity

There's a new book out on Bill and Hillary as if we needed another one. This one is written by a man named William Chafe. That's not the interesting part. It was panned by the Washington Post book critic, Jonathan Yardly. His summation is that their marriage has been more productive and functional due to Bill's sexual escapades.
I try to personalize as much as possible so I started thinking about Lizzie and my almost 43 year marriage. Let's give this a shot. I come home and let the Queen know I'm going to do some hanky panky with a couple of the widow ladies up the street. That's it, no more examples. I can come back with two scenarios: 1) Lizzie does own a frying pan and with the proper technique of a Major League baseball player throwing a bullet to home plate she could easily find the back of my skull; 2) does the name Lorena Bobbitt mean anything? What Yardly is telling us is the same thing a moron from the Boston Globe told us after HealthCare was passed, one of Teddy Kennedy's signature dreams . It was that if Mary Jo Kopechne were alive she would be very proud and happy.
The amazing aspect of this is Yardly gets paid to publish this drivel.