Saturday, January 31, 2015

It's A Craaazy World

My wife was walking through the living room and looked at me then said: "I've seen many things in my life but the story about Bruce Jenner changing into a woman is the craziest".

Yes, it is my dear. He's the father of children. He was an icon in the state of Iowa after the Olympic games. He earned a gold medal for the decathlon. What came first, lip gloss and nail polish or the Kardashians?

I wonder how this guy earns his money. A quick scan on the computer said he's worth $100 million. I know he was a spokesperson for Wheaties and Nautilus in the 1980's. He sat on corporate boards and gave motivational speeches but the well has dried up so to speak. What does he do now aside from painting his toenails?

Stories are rampant he's going to have a boob job and play whack-a-doodle with "you know what". Man, that's so scary it hurts to think about it

My brother in law has six degrees of separation with Jenner. He ran track for the University of Iowa and competed against Mr. Sissy when he was at Graceland College in Lamoni, Iowa. My bro in law is still a guy. As for Jenner it was in the cards. After all, his name is Bruce.

Friday, January 30, 2015

If Your Bad Athlete Kid Wants To Play Sports Move To Minnesota

Immediately following the announcement that the policy had passed, there were loud cheers in the board room and even tears from some of the supporters 

In order to understand what I'm about to write simplification will be the best and most efficient route. Even so, you might not get it but I'll give it a whirl.

In Minnesota as in all states it's a big deal to play on your high school athletic team. Let's face it. It's an open invitation for getting the babes. But some guys can't cut it and end up not making the squad. This is utter humiliation. The liberal state of Minnesota has come up with a solution. Let's say Bob is cut from the varsity basketball team. Not a problem. All he has to do is tell his school district he feels like he's a girl on the inside. It is then mandatory that he be allowed to participate on the female team. What a stroke of luck for the girl's coach. All of a sudden he may have another Kareem Abdul Jabbarette on his hands and a state championship at his fingertips. If five guys do the same it's a dynasty. There is a downside to this scenario. Pity the ladies who have been replaced by faux guys. They'll be relegated to the cheerleading squad where they were in the first place. Minnesota--it's a state with much, much more than walleye and red plaid wool caps with ear flaps.

What About The Little People

John and Theresa Heinz Kerry were fined $50 yesterday for not shoveling their sidewalk. There's a law in their community to this effect. I'll come to their defense on this one. With an eight million dollar home covering 8,000 square feet my suspicion is the walkway was so far away from the indoor pool they couldn't see it. The big question that could be posed is, where was the help?

In Our World Would Eddie Slovik Be Praised

Seventy years ago tomorrow, Private Eddie Slovik (1920-1945) became the first and only soldier since the Civil War to be executed for desertion, a military offense that has recently surfaced in the news about Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl.
Whatever one may think about the status of Sgt. Bergdahl with respect to whether his disappearance from his Afghanistan battlefield unit on June 30, 2009 was an act of desertion and may have led to the deaths of comrades looking for him, one fact is clear: It’s been more than six months since the Pentagon completed its investigation of the Bergdahl matter, and no report has been issued to the public. Indeed, there may never be transparency of any sort in this instance — an amazing turnabout from military history in general and Slovik’s case in particular.

Read more:

Thursday, January 29, 2015

If You Call Yourself A Democrat, Why?

The chairman of the National Committee of the Communist Party USA has penned a 2,023-word manifesto making the critical point that American Communists are eager to work with the Democratic Party to advance the modern communist agenda and achieve communist goals.
Communist Party chairman John Bachtell published his essay last week at People’s World, a “daily news website of, for and by the 99% and the direct descendant of the Daily Worker.”

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

New York City's Blizzard Of A Lifetime

Brought to you by the same morons who belittle you when global warming is mentioned as a hoax.

How many times have we, the dumbed down population, stocked up on food and altered our work schedules because a meteorologist has promised us he controls what God has created?

Friday, January 23, 2015

I've Lost My Touch At Blogging

Five years ago when I started this blog it took me an entire year to work up  to fifty daily page views. Three years later I could easily count on three hundred per day. After of one year hiatus of hibernating the column was resumed and here we are again, looking at a pitiful one hundred views per day. Oh, every once in awhile I'll see a bonanza but it's very irregular.

One of my intermittent readers told me he enjoys the human interest stories. He's probably correct in his assumption. Lately, I've been doing many reprints. I try and make them as humorous as possible. But how can this be accomplished when we're inundated on a daily basis with beheadings and Allah Akbar?

As most of you know I've been in Miramar Beach, Florida for three weeks. It's a nice place. We have a condo one hundred yards from the Gulf. So far I haven't put my toes in sand let alone sea water. My goal for the next six weeks is to not get near the water. It's sort of like being at the base of Mt. Everest and not taking one step toward the summit. It'll be a challenge but I know it can be done. Eat your heart out Tenzing Norgay.

The interesting aspect of our trip this year are some of the people I've run into. Quick now, google Boone, Iowa. Unless you happened to grow up there some folks would call it 'the home of nothing'. Others, natives, might say the same. In the Destin, Florida area(where we are) there are seven of my high school classmates and their wives Snow Birding. Destin is in the western Panhandle. Winter rates are less expensive than down south. It's why it's called the Redneck Riviera.

I was thinking of all these people from my hometown yesterday in my entire life before this week I didn't speak twenty words to them. Now,  it's as though we're like first cousins. That's the way life is. When we reach the 'check out' generation there are no inhibitions. We're all the same. We don't have jealousies, embarrassments or superficial hidden agendas. All we want to do is go to the early bird special and talk about medical issues.

 What we do have are lousy memories. There's a woman in the condo across the pool from us. She and I went to grade school together for eight years. One would think I'd remember her but I didn't. Guess how stupid I am? When I saw her two days ago and she brought this up I said, "I don't remember you". Very quickly, as I saw the look on her face I said, "I'm sorry. I've had a lot of sports related concussions in my life and don't remember so well". I think she bought it.

My activities revolve around trips to Wal-Mart for prescription medicines, daily walks to the Dollar Store. I email my Edward Jones stock broker all the time. The computer is almost my best friend. If I didn't use the computer it would sue me for alienation of affection.

I get to turn 69 on Monday. Big plans that day. I plan on waking up and breathing all day long and into the night.

If I don't get more than one hundred page views I'm going to come up with a new hobby. If you have suggestions feel free to make offers.

The Guy Obama And The White House Calls A Chicken Sh*t


American Foreign Policy

"ISIS is a JV team".

"Yemen is our success story". (November 2014)

Need I write more?

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Oh Me Oh My. How To Explain This.


When he was running for president seven years ago, and appearing in a nationally televised forum held by a Christian pastor at a Christian church, Barack Obama said he believed that marriage was a “sacred union” that was “between a man and a woman.”
On Tuesday night, in his State of the Union Address, Obama said that legalization of same-sex marriage in the United States is one of the things he has seen that represents “America at its best.”

Voted Best Prom Date Picture Of 2014


In order to fulfill your curiosity I've included the other nominees. It was a difficult decision selecting the winner. As you file through the compilation I'm sure you will understand.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The State Of The Union Speech


Presented in the link is a compendium of promises made by Pres. Obama six times over. If you can slug through all 112 then you'll be doubled over in laughter.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Basketball Or State Of The Union

There isn't much of a decision to be made tomorrow when it comes to television viewing. I ask you, when was the last time you sat down with a bowl of popcorn and watched the State of The Union speech intently? Better yet, do you recall a pronouncement made that was memorable? I do. It was when Congressman Joe Wilson(R-NC) shouted out, "You lie" when Mr. Obama told us the cost of 'free' health care was going to be just that.

If you're a rabid college basketball fan the SOTU will rank up there with reruns of Gilligan for viewership. Truth be told it's the president's fault for our love of the game. If it wasn't for his all or nothing emphasis on hoops none of us might be interested in Naismith's invention.

We Hawkeye and Cyclone fans will be tuning into ESPN and ESPN2. Iowa State takes on Kansas State at Hilton Coliseum followed by Iowa as they invade the Univ. of Wisconsin. Please root for Iowa. Why would anyone cheer for a communist school?

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Next Up--Dogs, Squirrels And Orangutans

A teenager has revealed in an interview that she plans to marry her father and have children after dating for two years.

The unnamed 18-year-old revealed in an interview with New York Magazine her romantic relationship of almost two years with her biological father after being estranged from him for 12 years.

In the interview, the girl also said the two also plan on having children.
The teenager said her father reached out to her on Facebook when she was in high school and soon after, she went to stay with him for a week.

After the week together, the 18-year-old said they had sex and then started dating.
"Everyone on my mom’s side of the family sees us as father and daughter," she told the magazine. "Those who know that he’s my dad, and that we are engaged, include my father’s parents (they can see we are happy together and they can’t wait for us to have babies — they treat us just like any other couple), the woman we live with, and my best friend."

After the wedding, the woman says they plan to move to New Jersey where adult incest is legal.

How To Get Filthy Rich. Be Elected To Congress

Ever wonder how lowly paid lawmakers leave office filthy rich?
Sen. Dianne Feinstein is showing how it’s done.
The US Postal Service plans to sell 56 buildings — so it can lease space more expensively — and the real estate company of the California senator’s husband, Richard Blum, is set to pocket about $1 billion in commissions.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Is This Really The Guy From Caddyshack

Not his best look: Chevy Chase showed off a large stomach and chubby face as he headed into the Today Show in New York City on Friday morning

NYC Police Officer Caught On Camera Beating Black Man

Screenshot 2015-01-16 11.09.11

Classy Obama To Be Interviewed By Creator Of Fart Facts After The SOTU

President Obama is set to sit down with the YouTube creator of “14 Fart Facts for my Flatulent Friends” after the State of the Union address on Tuesday.
In a blog posting at, officials claim the president will be interviewed by three YouTube personalities as an example of  “efforts by the president and his administration to speak directly to the American people online.”
Hank Green, whose most recent YouTube video at the time of this publication is “14 Fart Facts for my Flatulent Friends”, will be among those questioning the president.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Where Was Mr. Obama

Over 3.7 million citizens of the world gathered in Paris today protesting the slaughter of innocent human beings. They came together to solidify the belief in human kind that all people have the right to live and to freely express themselves.

Thirty world leaders, locked arm in arm, led this march. From Angela Merkel, the leader of Germany, to Abbas from Palestine and Netanyahu from Israel these people marched as one in sympathy for the lives of the innocent. They came to show the world that humanity will stand against barbarous terrorism.

Yet, the supposed leader of the free world, Barack Obama, did not make the journey to France. America was not in evidence. Our Attorney General, Eric Holder, was sent in his stead. The news reports now say Holder didn't make the rally. According to Gateway Pundit he was in high level meetings which begs the question, weren't all those high level folks at the rally? John Kerry was in India preparing the way for Mr. Obama's Far East trip of next week. Joe Biden was incommunicado.

Our President was too busy to make the trip. Was he tired from his recent foray to Hawaii? Did he have a Sunday morning tee time? Is he scheduled to watch the NFL playoffs? Who knows.

My wife asked, "Who does Obama have for advisers"? Wouldn't they tell him he should be in Paris"? If I was in this position wouldn't I tell myself, "Know what, as much as I don't want to go it's going to look bad if I don't attend". Didn't he consider Joe Biden? Even this cartoon character would have been able to fend off the criticism of a no show.

If this act doesn't solidify his legacy as the most inept and self-absorbed  president in the history of this nation then nothing will.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Friday, January 9, 2015

Somewhere Out There John Edwards Is Laughing

There's something about Massachusetts liberals being out of the mainstream. Think of Ted Kennedy and his sometimes fuzzy alcohol filled speeches. One of his successors, Elizabeth Warren, the one who says she is one-thirty second cousin of Pocahontas(ahem) takes the cake for hypocrisy.

How rich is Elizabeth Warren?
  1. She is worth between $3.7 million and $10 million, leaving out her three-story Victorian home in Cambridge, Mass., worth 1.9 million.
  2. Her average net worth is $8.75 million.
  3. Most of her wealth is invested with TIAA-CREF; she and her husband each have $1 million in the TIAA-CREF Traditional fund, which guarantees your principal will never be affected, you are guaranteed a minimum interest rate, and your income stream will never die.
  4. She received an advance of $525,000 to write her book A Fighting Chance.
  5. She and her husband earned $981,000 in 2009 and $955,000 in 2010.
  6. She was paid $430,000 as a Harvard professor in 2010 and part of 2011 for teaching one class.
This is the same Warren who once told MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell, “I realize there are some wealthy individuals – I’m not one of them, but some wealthy individuals who have a lot of stock portfolios.” She forgot that she owned between $100,001 and $250,000 of IBM stock, of course. Her spokesman Kyle Sullivan later lamely claimed, “Elizabeth was making the point that, unlike many members of Congress, she does not have a broad portfolio of stocks in individual companies. If elected, she’ll get rid of the one stock she does own.”
This is the same woman who snapped in September 2011, “There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody.”
This is the same woman who said while supporting Senator Mark Udall, “Republicans believe this country should work for those who are rich, those who are powerful, those who can hire armies of lobbyists and lawyers.”

Barack Proposes Two Years Of Juco Free

A free two year education for our youth and it doesn't cost a penny. Who pays for it, you may ask? Well, you do, silly, and the price tag is a paltry $60 billion per year.
Weasel Zippers thank you.

Fat, Toilet & Democrat Equals A Bad Combination


She is and rightly should be the butt of jokes across the land.

"The chairwoman of the Alabama Democratic Party, Nancy Worley, did not have a good 2014.
It hit rock bottom when she got stuck on her toilet. After being lodged on the toilet for hours, she made the decision to upgrade from a 14 inch seat to the tallest-available 17 inch seat. She also installed a pull-up bar on her bathroom wall.
The world knows all this because Worley decided to include her toilet seat folly in her annual holiday letter to Democrats across the state of Alabama".

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Today's Quiz: Words Of Wisdom From Clinton And Obama

This blog piece will be specifically for liberals only but all may enter . History will judge their heroes by words of wisdom; for what they will be remembered. I'd very much like to hear from liberals for what we will recall of Clinton and Obama in their many speeches. As an example, "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country". Everyone knows this phrase. My grandson knows it. So, come up with any little ditty and put it in the comments section, please.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Do Not Submit

There's a world wide movement afoot not to submit to radical Islam by not publishing anti-Mohammed and Islamic pictures. It's called 'Do Not Submit'. Sadly, our mainstream media, Fox included, has made a conscious decision not to fan the flames(their words) so they are eliminating any controversial(their words) from being shown depicting on their networks or media publications.

It's not as though Achmed is going to come after me for publishing the above photo. I felt it was my duty to show respect to the French dead for giving their lives to live by the credo of freedom of speech.

Boycott CNN

I'd like to make a personal request in light of a comment made by a CNN contributor that conservatives are worse than the murdering Jihadist terrorists in France. It's my belief we should boycott CNN. There's a problem. American already has boycotted the station because no one watches. Regardless, Ms. Kohn is one despicable person.

"Twisted lefty Sally Kohn, a CNN contributor, tweeted out that conservatives were worse than jihadists after the terrorist attack today that left 12 people dead at Charlie Hebdo headquarters in Paris".

Proof: Liberals Need To Be Eradicated

Howard Dean—that celebrated scholar of Islam—has weighed in on today's murderous rampage in Paris, declaring that he refuses to call the shooters in this and similar cases "Muslim terrorists." According to Dean, the disregard for the lives of others that these terrorists display "is not what the Koran says." Dean's denial of the obvious puts him in the company of many liberals, most notably including President Obama, who after the beheading of James Foley declared that ISIS "speaks for no religion."

The White House, through spokesman, Josh Ernest, refuse to call this act what it is, terrorism. They are referring to it as extremism. But, we all know what it is. It's terrorism against humanity.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Will Not Be Parents Of The Year

Three young children spent seven hours alone in a car in a Walmart parking lot after their parents were arrested and accused of shoplifting at the store, authorities said.
According to the Broward County Florida Sheriff’s Office, Tosheba Hope, 30, and Gerald Moultrie, 24, were arrested about 7 p.m. Monday at the Walmart at 3001 N. State Road 7 and accused of grand theft.
After being arrested, the two failed to mention that three children —ages 2, 5, and 7— were waiting for them in their parked car, said Gina Carter, a Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman. Hope is the mother of the three children; Moultrie is the father of one of them, she said.

Joe Biden: "I May Be Dumb But I'm Not Stupid"

At today's Senate swearing in ceremonies our vice-president was on display with his comment of, "I may be dumb but I'm not stupid". As MJ Hawkeye says, "Joe, I beg to differ".

 Senate-watchers were grabbing the best Bidenisms of the day.

Biden said to Sen. Joni Ernst’s (R-Iowa) teenage daughter, according to National Journal, “How old are you? 15? I hope Mom has a big fence.”
He also mistakenly called Ernst “Gail” — her husband’s name. She quickly corrected Biden.

Caught by PBS: “Biden to blonde family member of South Dakota Republican Steve Daines: ‘Hey Caroline, how old are you?’ Later whispers to her brother, ‘Keep the guys away from your sister.’”

Let's be honest about Biden. He's freaky especially when around young girls. My wife would slap me if I pulled a couple of his stunts.

Monday, January 5, 2015

The National Enquirer: Our Only Investigative News Source

Latest ladies: Clinton was pictured posing for a photo with Barbie Girl (left) and Ava Adora (right), two known prostitutes who work at the Bunny Brothel in Nevada

Uh-oh, Mr. Bill. You should be more careful about your friends. They might take advantage of an unsuspecting former president. Can we call these ladies(of the night) high class bimbos? Barbie Girl(L) and Ava Adora(R) perform their services at an establishment called Bunny Brothel in Nevada.

It appears the president the Left adores is involved with pedophile, Jeffrey Epstein. Sources from the Smoking Gun have Mr. Clinton with a book loaded with names of conquests, potential and otherwise. The SG, not exactly a news store rag does had some credibility.

Say all you want about The National Enquirer, but Democrats of all people should know the scandal rag is one of the few places that does any honest investigative journalism anymore — or even can afford to. Don’t believe me? How do you spell John Edwards? The folks at the New York Times are still trying to get that one right.

What's Wrong With The Dollar Store? Absolutely Nothing

A few weeks ago I jumped in my car and scooted on down to the local Walgreen's to buy Christmas cards. In the old days I'd mail out a slew of them but now I'm down to around twelve.

The store had a bin with a variety of cards. I look for the religious kind. It only seems appropriate since without Christ we'd be celebrating Festivus or Kwanza or some other made up holiday.

I saw a pack that had Noel on the front and aimlessly walked to the counter as I spied the price. FIFTEEN DOLLARS! My head exploded as I told myself I could do better.

I'm not certain what took me to The Dollar Store. Maybe I had to buy a birthday card for a friend. I did know I could get one at this place for a buck as opposed to a Hallmark card going for $3.99 from Kroger's. As I moved toward the birthday card section I passed a Christmas card display loaded with boxed cards. There wasn't a price on the box but what the heck, they had to be less than what Walgreen's was asking.

The checkout lady rang up my bill. One dollar for the birthday card and, get this, one dollar and ninety-nine cents for sixteen Christmas cards. Well, I'm not your average dummy so I told her, "You must have made a mistake. You didn't charge me enough". Her comeback was, "Why do you think we call it The Dollar Store".?

This scenario begs the question: Why don't people shop at The Dollar Store? Is it an ego problem? Do we feel less of a person because if we don't pay exorbitant prices and we'll be seen as cheapskates by our contemporaries? Are people who shop at The Dollar Store considered less than Wal-Martians? I know people who believe this.

I've finally learned that products sold at a Giant Eagle, Kroger or Winn-Dixie(a horrid store) are the exact same with a generic label as with a brand name on the package. The Dollar Store takes this to greater levels.

Yesterday, I shopped at a Publix in Destin, Florida. I enjoy this market especially because they have a giant scale as I walk out the door and I can weigh myself. I'm a masochist this way. It's smart of them to have it at the exit as opposed to the entrance. Those shoppers watching their weight might tend to buy less items. I know I would. We compulsive eaters are that way.

Among the products on my list to be purchased was a one pound container of coffee, Folgers French Roast. The last thing I wanted to do was shell out $11.95 for the brew--but I did, reluctantly. The only other available brand for consumption except that which the rich and famous buy was Maxwell House. I'd rather drink diluted mud tainted with arsenic than suffer though a cup of that garbage. This morning I shopped at our local Dollar Store; same brand, same amount of coffee. The price; $5.95. What's up with that?

Could it be we're all getting screwed at our giant mega-stores. Nah! It couldn't happen, could it?

My wife asked that I buy her some bottled water. You do know how I feel about water that has to be drunk from a plastic bottle. I've always been a tap guy will never alter my thinking. Bottled water is for people to carry around town making others think they're health conscious. "Hey, look at me. I'm hydrating myself and, by the way, I look good, too"(Don't tell my wife I wrote this).

Regardless, because it's important to do whatever one's spouse asks I grabbed a 24 pack of the bottled wet stuff and took it to the counter. The cashier told me I could get the 32 pack at the same price. "How much is that", I asked. "Oh, it's two dollars", she said. This, to me, was mind boggling even though she could have turned on our tap for next to nothing. The Publix price; nine big ones.

Once again, I have to wonder why people don't shop at The Dollar Store. Maybe folks don't have this place on their minds unless they want to purchase ballpoint pens and happen to come across other items. I ask you, where else but The Dollar Store could you buy two large bags of Doritos for five dollars? I'd pay that amount if someone had opened them and taken a couple of handfuls.

And get this, I didn't even check out the price of toilet paper.

The Dollar Store, it's a happening place.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

You Know It's A Slow News Cycle When -------------------------


Maybe it's a slow news cycle, you know, the fact that the media has once again shown itself to be bias in its reporting. Most of you who spend time on the internet are familiar with the hullaballoo over Sarah Palin's son, Trig, standing on the family dog to brush his teeth. Anti-Palinites have taken to the media to denounce the way Mama Grizzley is raising her son. PETA has unleashed an attack against Trig for animal cruelty. Liberal nincompoops are having a field day.

Now, take a look at the top photo. This snapshot was taken a year ago. It shows Ellen DeGeneres's adopted daughter brushing her teeth. It was put on Facebook by Ellen. The pic received oohs and ahs from her admiring fans. Not once was there a criticism from the Left and most assuredly, from the Right. We have more important items on our plates.

In both cases, do you see the pain and anguish being exhibited by each pooch? I didn't think so.
I'll give Trig credit for one thing. At least he wasn't wearing shoes.

Friday, January 2, 2015

The Top Ten Bumper Stickers Of 2014

Bumper Sticker - Roswell NM - Exist

As you well might understand there were no liberal bumper stickers voted in the top 100 for creativity and humor in 2014. Liberals aren't creative unless you count an utterance such as "Halliburton" when Dick Cheney's name is mentioned. Humor, coming from the mouth of a liberal has the taste of pate de fois coming from the rear end of a poodle.

Conservative bumper stickers, on the other hand, are award winners. You'll like the other top ones presented by opening the accompanying link.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Unarmed Alabama White Man Shot Dead By Police

Protesters, rioters, media, fail to show. End of story.

Hasbro Toy Company Plays the Stupid Game


Doesn't every kid in America use Play-Doh? It's either made my mom  in the kitchen or purchased at Toys R' Us. Either way, it provides hours of creative time for our kiddies and affords parents a much needed opportunity for their own quiet time.

Hasbro has now played the stupid game. When informed by consumers it looks like a sex toy they feigned ignorance. Who in their right mind, they thought, would mistake this toy for penis and testicles except for a pervert?