Saturday, December 31, 2011

These Are Your Elementary Schools In Action

This post is accompanied by a sing-along pamphlet being used at the Woodbrook Elementary School in Charlottesville, Virginia. It was designed for 3rd graders. Academia indoctrinating college students is bad enough, but to have third-graders sing about class warfare and rail against the one percent is evil and a violation of the trust parents put in them.

Here’s a transcription of the song:

Some people have it all
But they still don’t think they have enough
They want more money
A faster ride
They’re not content
Never satisfied
Yes — they’re the 1 percent

I used to be one of the 1 percent
I worked all the time
Never saw my family
Couldn’t make life rhyme
Then the bubble burst
It really, really hurt
I lost my money
Lost my pride
Lost my home
Now I’m part of the 99

Some people have it all
But they still don’t think they have enough
They want more money
A faster ride
They’re not content
Never satisfied
Yes — they’re the 1 percent

I used to be sad, now I’m satisfied
’Cause I really have enough
Though I lost my yacht and plane
Didn’t need that extra stuff
Could have been much worse
You don’t need to be first
’Cause I’ve got my friends
Here by my side
Don’t need it all
I’m so happy to be part of the 99

from weasel zippers

World's Largest Lips


There has to be an appropriate joke in this post. Think of a 'double entendre', perhaps. Kristina Rei, beginning at age 17 felt her lips were too thin so after 100 silicone injections she's finally where she wants to be--looking like an idiot.

Local News Bloopers

Enjoy six minutes of local newscasters goofing up on screen.

PETA Seeks Cow Memorials


There are some times when people should sit down and ask themselves, "Am I a whack job"? Members of PETA, in the state of Illinois, have proposed to state legislators a bill, 'The Roadside Memorial Act'. So far so good one might say. Except, that PETA is asking that memorials be placed alongside highways and interstates for our bovine friends who have paid the ultimate price; dying on the roadways after their 'cow trailers' have been in accidents.

A Defection

A week ago there were eighteen kind souls who put there monikers on my page site saying they were followers. One has defected. I think I know who it is. There was a cartoon of a 'cactus couch' posted a few months back and titled, "My Butt Hurts" and this fella made a friendly comment and put his logo on my list. At any rate, I did some research and found out he was quite famous in the world of music. As one can imagine my pride swelled. Now, he's gone BUT there are still seventeen folks on board and seventeen is better than sixteen. A couple of my early followers don't comment either so I have to believe they are 'Histoi'. These would be Sean and Radu. They were originals and quite intelligent at that.
Today is a day when I'll think back to Dec. 31 in my past life. There have never been memorable laugh filled ones with memories galore. Dec. 31 of 1968 found my future best man and I in Waterloo, Iowa, dateless, until we picked up a couple of girls on a downtown elevator around 6 PM. Don't ask for the details; memory doesn't leave me any.
I did have one lamp shade incident and it's best forgotten. It was one year later. As a majority of adults who have been around for awhile know, New Year's Eve is 'amateur night'. Since Dick Clark stopped doing his thing Lizzie and I hit the hay at the normal time; somewhere between 7PM and whenever we feel like it.

PP Assets Top $1 Billion

From The Hill: The nation’s largest abortion provider topped $1 billion in total net assets in 2009-2010, its first time reaching that mark, according to Planned Parenthood’s latest annual report. The report, released Friday, is sure to rekindle Republican lawmakers’ efforts to defund the organization in 2012. Five of the GOP presidential candidates have also signed a pledge to defund Planned Parenthood. Almost half of the group’s annual revenue — 46 percent — comes from taxpayers in the form of grants, contracts and Medicaid payments, according to an analysis by the anti-abortion group Susan B. Anthony List.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Most Page Views In MJH History



I'm not surprised at the results. These photos titled, 'Palestinian Women vs. Israeli Woman' has the most page views in the three and a half year history of this site. In second place is a photo of the 6'8" Australian beauty. Does this mean only men and ladies playing on the other team read me?

Most Beautiful Woman



A couple of weeks ago I posted a picture of female with the words: "Someone, somewhere is tired of putting up with her crap". Turns out her name is Aishwarya Rai and she has been selected as the world's most beautiful woman. She happens to be a movie star from India, the country where Bollywood is bigger than Hollywood.
As for Ms. Rai, she's okay. No Lizzie and that's for sure.

New Years Plans

What say we all temper down, stay away from politics and have one last fling at junk food before we get serious about 2012. I don't make resolutions therefore it's impossible to fail, because I know I would. There were three large pieces of candy in our home today. I emphasize the word, 'were'.
Beginning on Tuesday, January 1 I may or may not cut back on calories. I may or may not get on my new stair stepper and exercise.
Zounds! I forgot to bring up the super cool Christmas gift given to me by Lizzie. Except for one time in my life I have never fired a weapon. Well, I did have a BB gun but I don't think that counts. In high school, and I think it was Big John Hendricks who owned one, I fired his .45 caliber pistol. It might have been another kind because the recoil nearly catapulted the gun into my head but as I said I don't know squat about weapons. Why do I want a rifle or pistol. Well, it's not to go hunting or target shooting. That doesn't leave a whole lot room for your imagination, does it?
Anyway, Lizzie purchased for me two hours worth of gun instruction, one on one, at a local shooting range. I will become an expert rifleman and a between the eyes marksman with a pistol.
Gosh, I hope I don't shoot myself and if I do please don't it let be in a necessary organ.

Corn: It's About Time

Hooray! Congress has voted to end farm subsidies on corn for ethanol; a savings projected to be $6 billion

Thursday, December 29, 2011

This N' That

Sad news out of the Columbus Zoo. A Rhino died. Sad news to some but not me. That's one less middlin' Republican to worry about.
Lizzie told me that Cheetah from the Tarzan movies with Johnny Weissmeuller films died. Can this be possible? If so, I hope I have his genes.
Word to the wise: when delivering airport luggage never, under any circumstances, deliver a bag to the wrong home. It's embarrassing to go to the next customer empty handed then to have to back track for three hours. Unfortunately, this event occurred at 9 PM and an irresponsible person ended his shift getting home at 4AM the next day. Can you say, "Bozo"?
Is it me or do liberals only speak in 'sound bites'? For instance, they use phrases without an explanation. You'll be in a room and all you hear is, "pay their fair share". That's it, there's nothing else. I'll use a woman in the next scenario because I can. Do you remember these gems from ten years ago: "Bush-Cheney-Big Oil", "War for oil", and my very favorite, "Halliburton". There's no subject, verb or object, just "Halliburton". Okay, if we had a war for oil in Iraq and now we're out of there, where's the oil. Better yet, why did we leave all of our armaments over there? If Iraq was a "War for Oil" what is Afghanistan, a "War for Rocks"?
Do you know that when Bush left office in '09 there were 25,000 soldiers in and around Kabul? Now there are 100,000 but I don't hear the Dems calling for a pull-out. And where are the Hippies screaming, "No More War"? I know where they are. They're on 'Occupying' streets pooping on police cars.
Do we still have boots on the ground in Uganda?
Did you read that The Emperor wants to raise the debt limit to $16.2 trillion? This is the same guy who called President Bush unpatriotic for raising the debt limit $3 trillion in 2008. Are you aware that we spent $1 trillion dollars in Iraq---total? This war spending/debt limit thing might give us a good comparison as to what's going on in D.C.
There is nothing better in the world than having a biopsy report returned with the word, 'negative' on the form.
Excitement is planning a trip with Lizzie to Alaska riding the rails and a cruising in and around the state.
Ron Paul said we wouldn't have a major war in one hundred years. What does he know and when did he know it? If I was going to drop a nuclear bomb one of my major targets would be Iowa: corn, soy beans, cattle and hogs---all food sources Kaput!
Buying a computer two months ago and filling with all the anti-viral updates available gives one great peace of mind. Having that same computer come down with a viral disease greater than ever seen during the Middle Ages takes away that peace of mind. When the same computer company tells you they can fix it for $100 this brings on unimaginable anger. Having damage insurance that cost $200 and telling the computer company to go get a hammer because that newly purchased computer is going to have the ever lovin' crap beat out of it is a promise yet fulfilled. When the service man tells you it can be fixed for free, well, that's priceless!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Slow Day But Wisdom Imparted

My regrets for 12/28. There won't be much in the way of wisdom. I would like to leave you with a nugget of information when getting in and out of your vehicle numerous times daily. Always carry two sets of car keys; one in the front pocket and one in your rear pocket. Then, in the event you happen to be 130 miles from home, in a driving rainstorm, with no shelter in sight and you leave your keys in the trunk----locked, you can easily reach in your hip pocket and open the doors. If you do not have that extra set you'll be required to, (a) call a locksmith. That is more than difficult when it's 9PM. (b) you could call AAA unless you do not belong, or (c) call the police and have them break in. Ol' MJH opted for (c) and it worked out okay. I speak from experience.

Forty-Two And Counting

"Happy Anniversary", Lizzie said, as I groggily sauntered down the upstairs steps from our bedroom. "Wow", I responded, "has it been five years already since I gave up cigarettes"? I was only half kidding, of course. I knew it was our 42nd anniversary of wedded bliss. I mean, who could forget an event like that? When it comes right down to it my memory is darned good about ancient history, especially when it comes to Lizzie. I'd better be otherwise I might get a verbal frying pan upside the noggin.
I first laid eyes on Lizzie at a fraternity party in Ames, Iowa, March 14, 1969. I so impressed her that she announced she would never allow one of her sorority sisters, let alone herself, to go out with me. So, six days later, on March 20th, we had our first date and it's been all downhill(is that the correct word usage?)since then. What did we do on that first magical evening you may ask? Well, there was once a very nice Skellys Truck Stop on highway 30, on the south side of Ames, Iowa and we ate our meal there. I am such a sentimentalist that I've saved the cancelled check lo these many years; $4.86 it read, for two steak dinners. Pretty smooth, huh! We became engaged July 20, 1969 at the exact same time as when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. I've often wondered if this action by Armstrong caused some lunar pull on my brain and forced me to 'pop the question'.
The actual event took place on----uhh, you already know that.
I married into a family that was, though not rich, how can I say this? They were way, way, way, above that of mine in status. My father in law had one daughter and he spared no expense in making sure she had a day to remember. We were married in St. Augustin's Roman Catholic Church in Des Moines, Iowa. You see, if the church is written up with a 'Roman Catholic' in it then it's a biggie. Had I been married in Boone, Iowa it only would have read, Sacred Heart Church. It's kind of a snob thing. Other than my new in-laws, of course, Des Moines people tend to look down on folks outside the city limits.

The wedding reception took place at the Savory Hotel in downtown DM. The Savory was special. My father in law, I've written of him before, the Ward Cleaver like guy, held back no expense. There was a large fountain with a swan and yellowis-ish liquid coming out of it's mouth and emptied into a large glass bowl and was recirculated! Sometimes I can be nine cards shy of a full deck but not this time. "WOW,FREE SCREWDRIVERS", I thought! Does life get any better than this?
I'm not certain how many guests were in attendance but I can give you an example of the type of folks from Lizzie's side of the family who made it. I did not realize that Bill Riley would be invited until I saw him at the the reception. Now, unless you happen to be an Iowan, your chances of knowing Bill Riley are almost nil. Mr. Riley was the all everything television celebrity, State Fair promoter, radio host, sports announcer at Drake basketball games. etc. He was the closest thing to, well, and it's difficult to say but, in the state of Iowa, God-like, all 5'6" of him! If you are clueless when it comes to Riley you can google him. He's now departed this earth but the point is, I must have married someone very, very special for Bill Riley to come to our wedding. I shook his hand after being introduced and left him with these pearls of wisdom: "Hey, I know you"! In retrospect, these were not exactly George Patton words. I was allowed to invite the great baseball player, Henry Aaron, but unlike Bill Riley he didn't show. He didn't even have the common courtesy to send a 'regrets' note.
So, the reception came to a close and Lizzie and I headed for the airport.
We flew out to Denver for the honeymoon. We left snow for more snow. I didn't realize planes flew to the Carribbean---or did I----whatever this means. We were on a three day timetable before returning to Storm Lake and to coach my high school basketball team. And so the roller coaster, hardly a merry-go-round, began.
There should always be a moral to the story and I've got a beauty. In our wedding Lizzie and I did it in a huge way when it came to support of friends. We had the usual Best Man and Maid of Honor. There were four brides maids and four groomsmen. In addition, there were three ushers. So, including us, we had the assistance of thirteen other friends to send us off into life together. Of those thirteen, and this is worthy of 'Ripley's Believe It Or Not' or 'The Guiness Book of Worlds Records' all thirteen youthful souls are still married to the original spouse. Two are deceased and they remained with their originals, too. I mean, that's the stuff that could qualify us for the 'Ellen Show'. Someone call 'Maury'. That story could provide a script for a major motion picture.
Maybe we'll do it on number fifty!

Monday, December 26, 2011

And This Guy Says He's A Republican?

Has anyone been reading about 'The Donald'? He's all over the news. Anyway, he's off-again on-again about running for president. He doesn't think any of the candidates are worth spit. Don't be surprised if he and maybe even Ron Paul run as 3rd party candidates. Who knows? The cards may be stacked against pro-Americans all along and we'll be stuck with our communist leader for another four years. Want to know a significant reason why Donald Trump is not to be trusted. It's because he gave $50,000 dollars to the Rahm Emanuel campaign for Mayor of Chicago. Emanuel has to be one of the slimiest people alive. He's ruthless and a thug. He is the Mayor of Chicago. What's one to expect? Rahm Emanuel ranks down there with the Wall Steet thieves. He's taken as much, if not more, illegal gains that John Corzine. Trump and Emanuel: They deserve each other but we don't deserve them.

Obama: "I'll Do Anything To Get Votes"

Not that it's going to change my lifestyle but the Obama administration is on a big hunt to get votes for the November election. It's a move that will please dems, pub's and independents and those against it could care less. The people I loathe has decided to loosen legislation on on-line computer gambling.
It's a smart move especially if it affects those who can't control addictive impulses. Let's say a person who doesn't have the ability to stop gambling loses his wife, home, car, kids, everything he or she has.
No one is going to say, "It's Obama's fault".

White House Appoints Controversial Judge

Obama is doing it the 'Chicago Way' but this time in New Jersey. He as appointed Chuckie Schumers' brother in law to a federal judgeship. Interesting, isn't it, how graft and corruption have no impact on the people.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas Day Self-Portrait

We Know More About Birth Of Jesus Than That Of Obama

Count on the American Thinker to divulge interesting and, might I write, 'factual' information to raise more questions about the birth of BO.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

It's Only The Beginning

The Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR) has announced that the Department of Defense aka, Leon Panetta, will now allow Muslim and Sikh students participating in Junior Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (JROTC) to wear headscarves and turbans while in uniform.

Friday, December 23, 2011

A Day To Remember

Yes indeed, MJ received his first tip today. I was embarrassed to take the fin but the man insisted. I'd be hard pressed to give a tip if an airline misplaced my luggage. I'm sure the man came through because I dropped the suitcase on his front porch and waited until he came home to make sure it wouldn't be stolen. I think he figured I went the extra mile for him.
I'm convinced Lizzie and I are the only people in Columbus, no wait,in all of Ohio, without a dog. Nearly every home I've visited has some kind of mutt growling at me as I've knocked on the door. Can you tell by the bark if it's a man killer type dog or a Chihuahua? I can. Yesterday, a mammoth brown lab decided to get ultra friendly with me and play 'hump my leg' in front of his family. This was right after he'd gone after his master. Talk about one horny dog. They all had a big laugh at my expense. "Easy big boy", I said. "I have a very jealous wife".
I met a young man today from Denver. He flew in to spend Christmas with his parents. He was very happy to see me at his front door. The guy was in jogging pants and shoeless. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to see a guy with red nail polish on his toes and not stare? Trust me when I say it can't be done.
There are three areas of Columbus that make my hair stand on end: The Hilltop, The Bottoms and East Livingston street. If not delivering luggage I normally wouldn't enter these districts without two Uzis, four German Shepherds trained to go for the jugular and a bazooka. In two days I've entered all three areas, not once, but twice. As you already know, I've lived to tell about it. Truth be told my tip came from E. Livingston. One more myth down the tubes but I'm still won't be taking any chances in the future.
I did meet some good ol' boys down in the Appalachian foothills of southern Ohio. It's very beautiful down in that part of the world. Both fellers had a big chunk of chew packed in their cheek. By golly, they both asked me if I wanted a chew.
I passed on their offer, of course, but just barely. There's nuthin' like a big chunk of Red Man.
Mileage countdown for four days; 1,200 miles. Not bad for an old-timer.

Obama Campaign Rips Romney For Not Releasing Records

A spokesman for President Obama‘s re-election campaign blasted Mr. Romney and questioned whether he had something to hide in his finances.

“Why does Governor Romney feel like he can play by a different set of rules?” said Ben LaBolt, a spokesman for the Obama campaign. “What is it that he doesn’t want the American people to see? Governor Romney, who has favored secrecy over openness time after time, should live up to the same standard of disclosure his father and others set.”
Meanwhile, seven years after Barack Obama burst onto the national political scene, we still await the disclosure of his background records.

1. Occidental College records and transcripts -- Not released
2. Columbia University records and transcripts -- Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper -- 'not available'
4. Harvard University records and transcripts -- Not released
5. Medical records -- Not released
6. Illinois State Senate schedule -- 'not available'
7. Illinois State Senate records -- 'not available'
8. Law practice client list -- Not released
9. Certified Copy of Original Birth certificate -- Not released
10. Harvard Law Review articles published -- None
11. University of Chicago scholarly articles -- None
12. Record of Baptism -- Not released or 'not available'

Conspiracy?

Since I am now a working man but paying my own fuel charges I'm on the lookout for the best price. Two days ago, in the Columbus, Ohio area there were stations, plenty of them, charging $2.98(in my mind still a rip-off). Yesterday, Dec. 22, 2011 every station in our area and two hours away in Cincinnati plus every gasoline facility along the way was nailing the customer for the exact same price: $3.39.9. Have yo ever gone to gasbuddy.com? It might help if you're trying to save fifty or sixty cents by showing the prices of stations in your area. You can thank me later.

2011 In Review

Except for the fact that there were no deaths in our family 2011 will not go down as a memorable year, at least in my mind. There was too much politics which means we, the people, were subjected to too much lying. What was it that Jimmy Carter said about malaise? It's only personal on my part but 2011 may go down as one of the most hated years in memory. Let me think----Hmmmmm! 1946 was good. That's when I arrived. From '51 to '58 it was okay. All I did was play. Well, I had to go to school but mostly I played with my pals. Jude was a pal. He still is. So was Mark but sad to write that he recently died. Then there were the Ferry brothers, Tim and Jim. Throw 'Sweat' in mix and you've go a basketball team with one sub.
1968 was a bad year. I was in my senior year of college. I was smart enough to realize the gravy train was about to end but I was happy to get away from the college scene. The rabble rousing protesters were doing their thing. I liked the ending of the Viet Nam War. Lizzie and I were living in Ottumwa, Iowa and when the announcement came on TV it was as though the pain of every migraine headache acquired by mankind left our bodies. Little did we know the US government would crap all over the South Vietnamese and create the killing fields of that country and Cambodia. But, hey, that's what governments are for, being losers.
The Carter years were bad. Remember how we had to fill our gas tanks on even or odd numbered days? Then Jimmy Bob encouraged us to wear sweaters during the winter to save on heating costs. Yeah right, Jimmy. Your winter was in Georgia. My winter was in Iowa, the land that required a ten inch bolt attaching your ass to your body to keep it from falling off with sub Arctic temperatures.
Except for losing my grandpa in '75 and my dad in '94 life's been excellent up until 2011. It was, from my viewpoint, not very much fun. And it all came out of Pennsylvania Avenue.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Illinois Teachers Are Doing Alright

The following attachment will blind you with rage. The examples come from the most corrupt state in the nation, Illinois. Okay, it's a tie between it and New Jersey.
A Phy Ed teacher is making over 200 large, excluding bennies.

Day 3 Delivering Luggage Comin' Up

Not much to report in the way of excitement on the new luggage delivering job. I am still awaiting my first monetary tip and am not holding my breath. I try to be as nice as possible in hopes of having someone dip into their change purse.
Yesterday, on Day 2, a couple of things hit me. Three of the girls luggage I delivered had arrived from Florence, Italy. I've decided that a 'luggage deliverer' has the status of a doorman, dishwasher from Mom's Grill or a panhandler. One of the ladies didn't want to talk much until I mentioned about Florence, Rome and Venice and all the wonderful things Lizzie and I had seen there--twice! Then it was like I had been bathed in perfume. She carried on and on.
I had ten deliveries yesterday; four were Caucasian, five were Oriental and one was from the sub-continent. Orientals can be no nonsense. It's like 'gimme the luggage and get the heck off my porch'. Maybe all five of them were having a bad day at the same time. I'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt. Hey! Is it possible they were mourning Kim Jong II's death? Oh yeah, I put another 300 miles on the car, too. Not a problem though cuz I'm 'the man'. Maybe today something more interesting; like a tip.

'Festivus' Lives

My old stomping grounds of Rock Island, Illinois is getting into the swing of things this Christmas season by celebrating a non-Christmas event, 'Festivus'. Of course, it's a take-off of the Seinfeld episode when George Castanza's mom and dad celebrate with a secular meal of meat loaf. Rock Island, in order to have some fun and make money, is having their celebration, too. They've even erected an aluminum 'Festivus Pole' downtown.
I would think that one of the more popular and in demand gifts for the season would be the "Bro" or "Mansierre".

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

"I'd Like Fries With That, Please"


hat tip: wesel zippers

Swappin' Some Spit


"Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta of Placerville, California, descended from the USS Oak Hill amphibious landing ship and shared a quick kiss in the rain with her partner, Petty Officer 3rd Class Citlalic Snell of Los Angeles".

These two babes are the first official lesbians to have their pictures taken doing what Our Leader says is A-OK. As you know I could care less since I am a female in a man's body.
Congrats ladies, you da' man, kind of. They ARE California chicks so it doesn't count.

Obama Ranks Himself As 4th Best President--Maybe


When Obama did the 60 Minutes show with Steve Kroft last week there was an out take in the interview. Obama ranked himself as the fourth best president in our history. He goes further when he stated: "With the possible exception of Lincoln, FDR, and LBJ his administration has more accomplishments than any other. I got a kick out of the 'possible exception' part of his banter. He actually thinks he's the best. Agree?

ObamaCare Failure

I know, I know. You read the blog headline and were immediately turned off. We're all sick of it. "Let's move on to something else", you say. The one reason I've posted the article is because it comes from John Stossel. He's interesting and he usually exposes the government for what they are, incompetent.

Apocalypse Countdown

Here we go again. It's time for the 'End of the World Countdown'. This time it comes from the Mayan Peninsula of Mexico. It's forecast that exactly 52 weeks from today we'll bite the bullet. Remember when the old codger, not once but twice, said we were doomed? Wasn't that last October? It was called the Rapture. I'm not holding my breath on this one and, if you read the article, the main focus of 'Apocalypse' is tourism.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Are Ya' Missin' Me

You aren't? Well you should be since I didn't send along wisdom the entire day until now, which is NIGHT! You see, MJ Hawkeye has taken a part time job and it began today. Now that I write this part time sounds ridiculous since I began the day at 9 AM and ten hours later her I sit.
Here's the situation. Columbus has an airport that services six major airlines. A gazillion times a day the airlines, instead of sending luggage to Columbus, inadvertently ship it off to parts unknown. When it arrives someone has to deliver it to the customer and that someone is moi.
It's a great gig. I get to drive and listen to the radio. Then I have the opportunity to meet people who can be interesting or crabby, depending how angry the are at not having their luggage on the scheduled flight. Today, I drove 289 miles; met two customers who didn't speak a lick of English and a lady who flew in from California. She was not a happy person. I tried to joke around with her, hand out compliments and apologize but to no avail. California people are just that way. Finally, I drove an hour and a half south to Portsmouth, Ohio to deliver a backpack to one of our warrior soldiers. Of course, I thanked him for his service and dropped some cash in his hand and told him to buy a pizza and some beer. It's not that noble of a thing to do. I'm a softy for all soldiers I see. Anyway, he gave me a big bear hug with tears in his eyes then sappy old me felt the tears start to well so I got the heck out of there. This is what I would call a good delivery.
Tomorrow,it's back to work------part time, of course.

22-Year-Old Buys $88 Million Dollar Apartment

It's not fair. Bring on OWS. "Why should she have such a nice apartment, Daddy, and I don't"?
A 'child' in her early 20's, Ekaterina Rybolovleva, received a nice gift from her Russian investor father, Dmitriy, while she attends an undisclosed university; an $88 million dollar apartment. Depending on how she looks------------Oh heck, who cares how she looks. If I happended to be anywhere from 18 to 35 and single I'd be camping out on her doorstep throwing roses at her feet. It wouldn't be a problem for me learning to live on rubles.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Was Eric Holder Involved In The OKC Bombings

Can it be possible that Eric Holder, Attorney General, could be involved in the Oklahoma City bombings the same way he is with Fast and Furious. Details are leaking out via the Freedom of Information Act(FIOA) and there are many questions to be asked about a government cover-up.(in the Clinton administration)

Kim Jong II R.I.H.*


Junior Kim at left

The smarmy little communist dictator from North Korea bought the farm yesterday; all 5'6" of him and that's an exaggeration. It was a known fact that he wore heightening shoes.
Do you know what irritates me most about his dying? As I get older he's one of the few twerps I knew of who I could kick the crap out of in a "crap kicking" contest. Now we have to kowtow(looks and sounds like a N. Korean town, doesn't it) to his son, Kim Jong-un. He's also a twerp.

*Hell

Dipsticks' Vacation

Add three days to an already expensive vacation to Hawaii and what do you get? Well, how about $4 million and change for the American taxpayer. Of course, $4 million isn't like our national debt of $15 trillion so why sweat the small change. Come hell or high water Barack and The SeaHag are going to fit that 17 day getaway into the schedule even if he has to approve the Keystone Pipeline.

Divine Providence Or Blind Luck

"Tis better to be in the right place at the right time than to be in the wrong place at the wrong time"
MJ Hawkeye

Lizzie informed me three days ago there was going to be a piano concert at a church near us and she'd like to go. The guy doing the playing, she said, was famous, especially in our area, and it was only a ten dollar bill to get in. Thus, I did not expect to see Frederic Chopin. The Queen and I hadn't been out in awhile, and there was Christmas crap on television so I gave her the affirmative: "buy the tickets". Lizzie told me the story of David Tolley on the Tonight Show from 1985 but it still didn't ring a bell. Let's face it; If famous persons haven't made their mark unless wearing an athletic supporter I probably haven't heard of them.
Since this IS a fairy tale type story I believe that the best way to present it is---

Once upon a time, in the spring of 1964, in the small hamlet of Dublin, Ohio a boy was born to Mr. and Mrs. Tolley. He was named, David, and he grew up with a thirst and appreciation for music, especially the piano. Throughout his Christian upbringing he played and he played and he played. He played the piano at home and he especially enjoyed playing at the Liberty Presbyterian Church. Time flew by and before he knew it he had graduated from The Ohio State University with a degree in music. His dream, though, was to become a famous composer. He was haunted by the fact that playing in front of large crowds made him very nervous even though his college professors told him that was the route he should go. At any rate, young David took off for California in 1985 looking for his big break. After six months of home sickness and finding no work Davids' mother sent his brother out to visit in the hope of cheering him up. One day Davids' brother decided they should do some sight seeing so they went to the beach then to the homes of some 'Hollywood Stars'. Younger brother then informed David that he had secured tickets to the Johnny Carson Show. Now is when this story gets good so pay close attention.
At the beginning of the show, Johnny informed the audience that one of their guests, a concert pianist, had slammed his car door on his fingers and could not play that evening. Carson then said, "We have never done this before but since we promised you a pianist, is there anyone in the audience who can play the piano"? He told them he didn't want to hear 'Chop sticks' but actual playing. Davids' brother raised his hand for him and, just like it was written in a Hollywood movie script, young David was selected to come down and perform. You know it wasn't a set up when David jauntily marched down the theater steps in Nike t-shirt, jeans and flip flops. The long story short of this entire scenario was, Johnny was flabbergasted, the audience gave David a standing ovation and, nervous or not, David, with his jocular banter, and the ease with which he did his thing brought down the house.
From this point in time David was asked back by the Carson staff to play again but this time as an anounced guest. His selection was a self composed, "Amazing Grace", in five variations. The George H. Bush family then called for him to play at the White House. David Tolley wrote scripts for Disney and last night Lizzie and I saw his 25th consecutive anniversary performance at the Liberty Presbyterian Church. He ended his concert last evening with the same 'Amazing Grace' composition he did on the Carson Show. It was very special.
Tolley has stayed in our area with his wife and four children even though he received his doctorate in music from Ohio State and is on the staff at Delaware State University. He also commutes frequently to California and is in the process of composing for two Broadway plays; Solomon and Joan of Arc. Tolley appreciates the values of countryside living and wants his family where he planted roots.
And they lived happily ever after.

I have included a seven minute video which you can see first by clicking here. It will explain the story of how Tolley was selected for the Tonight Show. It shows how Tolley looks today. Then, if you click here you will be able to see the actual scenario from a then 21 year old as it unfolded on the Carson Show many years ago.
Enjoy!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Barack Wimps Out

It was a Dec. 7 speech when Barry said there wouldn't be a Keystone Pipeline tied in with the payroll tax cut. He wasn't able to stand the pressure.

You Can Read And Write In Almost Any Language

Let's say you've met this cute little girl from Hungary and she doesn't speak a lick of English. You, being an American, have great difficulty in speaking and translating the language of your birth. You are desparate to spark a relationship. Is this a problem? Nope! There's a web site that lets you translate English into whatever. Last year on my birthday, for a reason I've never figured out, a friend sent me a card that was in Spanish with a picture of a good lookin' tamale on the cover. I figured out what the writing was, "don't sprinkle rocks on the camel" or something like that. Anyway, check it out. It works.

World's Shortest Woman

She's only 24.7" in height and wants to get her college degree and become a Bollywood movie star. I guess you'll have to open the attachment to see her. Curiosity will force you.

I Hate To Write It But It's A Truism

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1. Pull up to Dealership when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card and leave, driving a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:
Oil Change:$24.00
Coffee: Complementary

TOTAL: $24.00

Oil Change instructions for Men:

1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree,and use your debit card for $50.00.
2. Stop by Beer Store and buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid’s pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12. Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; crawl under truck and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off..
16. Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19. Remember drain plug from step 11.
20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21. Drink beer.
22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24. Crawl under truck getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25. Begin cussing fit.
26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit truck and left dent.
28. Beer.
29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30. Beer.
31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32. Beer.
33. Lower truck from jack stands.
34. Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35. Beer.
36. Test drive truck.
37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38. truck gets impounded.
39. Call loving wife, make bail.
40. 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2,500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1,500.00
Beer: $20.00

TOTAL: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right

iOwnTheWorld

Dem Congressman: We Didn't Know What Was Going On When We Passed ObamaCare

It doesn't make much difference now, dumbass.You fools passed it. Mike Honda(Dumb-California) was one of the dimwits responsible.

Why Not Take A Chance

Want to take a chance on being a good Samaritan? This could be a stretch for some of us, maybe many more than some. I must admit I gave it great pause.
It may be implausible to believe the situation but I'll attempt to explain the story as simply as possible:
In southeast Michigan lives a guy named, Alexis Ortiz. He's a recovering alcoholic and was released from prison last week. He has seven children and another adopted one. This is where the story gets good. He lives in Waterford, Michigan. It's located slightly across the border from Ohio, north of Toledo. He was gassing his car at a Mobil station and spotted a wallet. In it was identification, credit cards and one thousand dollars in cash. Now, if I'd have found this there's no doubt I would have immediately turned it into the police because I'm nearly perfect but for the average guy and gal, well I don't know.
Every once in awhile you have to give human kind the benefit of the doubt. I called WJBK TV in Southfield, Michigan to see if this story was on the up and up and the lady at the desk confirmed it for me. I had, previously to the phone call, found the name of an Oritz in Waterford who lives on Tubbs Road by going to whitepages.com. I've decided to send some cash to Mr. Ortiz, not The Bank of Saudia Arabia cash, but just enough to say, 'Merry Christmas' and tell him what a nice gesture he did.
So, if you've got a couple of extra bucks to help out a family, anonymously of course, give it a shot. If it doesn't work out you'll never know but you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself.

It's A Fairy Tale Muslim Story

The lovely young bride was studying to receive her college degree, much to the chagrin of her loving husband. Evidently he didn't want her to be able to become educated. That's understandable, isn't it? He told her to hold out her hand and he'd give her a surprise----then he chopped off her fingers. But, that's the way it goes if you're a Muslim.

Friday, December 16, 2011

1st Tea Party Member Arrested--Sort Of

It's the first time in the history of the Tea Party that a member has been arrested and he didn't defecate on a car, either.


A leader of a tea party group was arrested after he took a gun to LaGuardia Airport.
Tea Party Patriots co-founder Mark Meckler was taken into custody Thursday morning after he tried to check in for a Delta flight to Detroit with a locked gun box containing a Glock pistol and 19 cartridges of ammunition, Queens prosecutors said.
Meckler, 49, declared the weapon, as required, authorities said. He's licensed to carry the gun in Grass Valley, Calif., where he lives, but that license isn't valid in New York, which has strict rules on carrying concealed weapons, they said.
"He didn't have a correct understanding of the law," said Al Della Fave, a spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which polices the area's main airports. "Though he has a permit to carry in California, that did not cover him in the state of New York."

He Must Be A Racist


Most of you probably don't know this man. His name is David Webb and he has to be a racist. "Why", you may ask. The answer is because he's co-founder of TeaParty365, Yep, he's a conservative and knows this administration is a failure. You can check out his web site here then move on to the TeaParty site, too.

Just Like The New York Times, Another Communist Rag

'Occupy Portland' Mom puts 4 year-old On RR Tracks

Okay, I have yet to see a member of the Tea Party put grandma on railroad tracks in protest of too much government. Listen to this moron of a mom as she explains why she put her child in danger. It only takes a few seconds but you repeat this to others, I promise.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio: 'Don't ... use me as a whipping boy'

Ya' gotta love Joe Arpaio. He doesn't take crap off anyone, especially from our boobish and corrupt, Justice Department and Homeland Security. ? Can't your hear him say it: "Bring it on".

Thursday, December 15, 2011

A Nice Story About Tim Tebow

I can't get enough of good guy stories. Aaron Rogers of the Packers, Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford, both football players are quality people. I'm crazy about Aaron Craft. He's an outstanding basketball player for the Ohio State Buckeyes. I'd adopt him if I could. You see, all of these guys do more than play ball. They talk the talk and walk the walk. They live exemplary lives and this is a good thing. USA Today did a positive story about Tim Tebow. Read it and you'll like it.

Joke Of The Milllenium: Half Of US Families Are Poor


There's a report from CBS News that half of all US families are living in poverty. This is also being trumpeted by the White House. Stop and think about this bogus fact for a minute then get in your auto and drive around looking for people naked in the street. Isn't this ridiculous? It's not possible. What it is is a lie to make people think the middle class is in poverty and to get their vote for Obama in the next election, i.e. what we have in this country is the rich and the poor. It's another example of class warfare.
Check out the accompanying chart showing 'necessities' in American homes and you'll see just how poor we are in this nation. (for a clearer picture click on the chart).
Folks, the US isn't Ghana. We live well in this country, even those who reside in southeastern Kentucky.

Dem Congressman Supports Repealing Ban On Sodomy And Bestiality In Military

Rep. Rob Andrews (D-N.J.), a member of the House Armed Services Committee, told CNSNews.com that he supports repealing the military's ban against sodomy and bestiality because, while he does not condone these practices, he does not think whether someone engages in these behaviors is "relevant to one's conduct as a military officer or an enlisted person."

In my last and greatest job before retiring we had a salesman who covered the territory of Georgia, Tennessee and Kentucky. His name was Alfred and he escaped from Hungary by crawling under a barbed wire fence during the 1956 Revolution. Alfred, a great American patriot, had a saying when he was incredulous at a certain act done by the government. It was, "You've GOT to be SH***ING me", in the way only a Hungarian with an accent could say it. Bestiality, sodomy, US government, congressmen, dufuses, goats, dogs and donkeys!

The 40 Best Conservative Sites

From John Hawkins at Right Wing News is a list of the 40 best conservative web sites.

For Beer Lovers Only



The world's strongest beer is called "Sink the Bismarck". It is 41% alcohol and will put you over the drink-drive limit with one gulp.
Two photos of the same woman: one taken before the first swallow and the other thirty seconds after.

"I Don't Oppose All Wars-What I Am Opposed To Is A Dumb War"

And with that statement uttered nine years ago Barack Obama, as an Illinois state senator, garnered hundreds of thousands of future votes for his presidential run. "Dumb War"! Is that sort of like the Cambridge, Massachusetts police "acting stupidly". Obama, yesterday, was at Ft. Bragg, 'bragging' about how he had kept his commitment to bring the boys home. Wanna take bets on when we'll have troops back in Iraq? Serious question to libs: In the event of a world crisis, do you trust the current administration to show the world we can handle it? I won't wait for an answer. I didn't think so.
Is it me or does Barack Obama seem like a real bad girlfriend? He's only been around for three years but doesn't it seem like an eternity?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Who Is This Woman?



Hint: Obviously, she's not a member of the democrat house or senate

Little Girls Grow Up



It was Maurice Chevalier who sang, "Thank Heaven For Little Girls". Well, little girl, Anna Chlumsky, who played opposite MacCauley Culkin in the 1991 hit, "My Girl" has done just that--grown up. Can it be twenty years already? Miss Chlumsky did something unheard of in Hollywood lore. She gave up a career to receive and education--until now. She will be acting in a new series with Julia Louie-Dreyfus of Seinfeld fame.

Wall Street's Main Man

Wonder how come the Republicans get all the grief when it comes to being the party of the rich.
Why, just his year, none other than the phony of the decade(s), Barack Hussein Obama has reaped the massive total of $15.6 million dollars from his Wall Street pals which means he's the runaway leader in graft cash. If the dirt bag OWS crowd care to look at the problem all they have to do is jaunt over to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Sinning While Driving

There will be a new subject of table talk around the country tonight. The news outlets are all atwitter about the government proposing a ban on cell phones and texting while driving.
Here are my thoughts on the subject: I don't care if anyone does this as long as they don't crash into my car, maim or kill myself or my wife. This also includes my children and theirs. Plus, the same applies to all relatives, friends and acquaintances. Other than that, no big deal. Besides, it's going to be the same as drunk driving. If you get caught you pay, especially if you cause an accident with fatal consequences. I don't use my cell when I drive for a good reason. People rarely, if ever, call me. A couple of guys call to play golf and my buddy around the corner will give me a shout to come over and watch a game. It's usually double dialing for him since I often don't remember where my cell is hiding and then he calls our 'land line'. I usually leave my cell in the car and every couple of days will look at it to see if the battery is nearly depleted or someone has called. Land line is an interesting use of two words. Its become a part of everyday use in the past few years. I'd wager a quarter I heard it a hundred times before I knew what it was because I didn't want to look stupid by asking what it was. Guess I was stupid, after all.
Texting is something I'll never do. It would be impossible for me to learn all the symbols of letters. A reason cells and texting would be a pain to enforce is because so many kids would be doing it. Did you know kids between the ages of 16-20 are indestructible? They think their car has a shield so that a nuclear bomb couldn't penetrate it. And what about those good looking 'Soccer Moms' driving their big Lexus'? Seriously, have you ever seen one with the woman not on the cell? And do you know why? It's because as important as we think we are, they are macro-mega-important, especially when they have one or two children strapped in the back seat.
My understanding of texting is it's a non-verbal message. Correct me if I'm wrong. It may go like this: "How R U"? Then the recipient of said message texts back: "OK". This would be very important when a teen-ager is driving a car.
I wonder how many high school and college kids text while taking important tests. Somebody sits at home and waits for a question then responds. This, then, would require a male and female proctor to frisk male and female students as they enter and leave the classroom. Why it'd be just like getting on an airplane except you don't leave the ground.
I would expect some kind of government mandate against cell phones and texting to come down the pike but can't figure out how it would be achieved.
Did you know there are more auto accidents involving the driver eating while behind the wheel than from the use of mechanical toys? Look out MacDonalds and Wendys. You are next on the government hit list----as if it'll do any good.

The Reason Time Magazine Has Become A Dud



So, as I look at this picture, I see what might be an attractive women. I doubt you'd find many beautiful protesting women in Islamic countries for longer than fiften minutes unless there was a Zionist flag around. Other than this she'd be hanging from a light pole---headless! Wouldn't it be better to witness the photo of rabble rousing nincompoops raising hell in the streets of Cairo? Wouldn't the magazine have more credence if it had selected a more significant person or event? My vote would go to Steve Jobs. Even goat herders in Yemen are familiar with Apple gear. Time has become the Mad Magazine for pseudo-intellectuals i.e. irrelevant.

Obama Clamps Down On Iran

It's a press conference and Obama lays down the law with Iran: "Give us back our drone". Man o' man, when I saw this YouTube I was quaking in my loafers. He didn't actually clamp down. The request was more like a sissified request from Pricsilla Pureheart.

The Reason For Gridlock

In my wildest dreams I would implore some liberal to comment on this post and attempt to justify their beliefs.

"WASHINGTON AP — Defiant Republicans pushed legislation through the House Tuesday night that would keep alive Social Security payroll tax cuts for some 160 million Americans at President Barack Obama’s request — but also would require construction of a Canada-to-Texas oil pipeline that has sparked a White House veto threat".

Three studies have been done on the Keystone Pipeline that shows no harm to our precious environment. The pipeline would provide 600,000 jobs, increase our oil supply and make sure the oil would not be diverted to China. But, no, 7% of the population, enviro-poopheads, are controlling our "Boobhead-Poophead" President. He needs the votes of the far left wack jobs for the upcoming election. Then after, god forbid, he's elected he'll say we do need the pipeline afterall.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

ObamaCare To Cost 100,000 Jobs This January

President Obama’s signature domestic policy will throw 100,000 people out of work come January as Obamacare costs insurance agents, brokers and administrators their jobs as private insurers are ordered to trim their office staff by as much as a quarter. This comes at a time when federal mandates pile up, increasing the workload for companies. The problem is an airy mandate that 80% to 85% of health insurance premiums go to health care.

Ron Paul: Certifiably Nuts

Even a doctor like Ron Paul can be a crackpot. I can give you one good reason he shouldn't be president. He's 76 years old. That's two years after life expectancy for men. "Hey Ron, buy some lilies. You're two years past due".
There's an even better reason to doubt his sanity. Read a quote from Don Surber, columnist from West Virginia to describe his lunancy:

I would think of Ron Paul as a despicable human being because of this, which he said to supporters, according to CBS: “Just think of what happened after 9/11. Immediately before there was any assessment there was glee in the administration because now we can invade Iraq.”

Forget CBS. MJ Hawkeye heard him say it to Megyn Kelly on Fox last week. He's an old time isolationist. That'd be okay if his name was Ne-Hi-Tonkeya and he lived on the Amercian Plains in 1654 AD.

Obama Compares Himself To Lincoln, FDR And LBJ

The Emperor has declared that his achievements rank him up there with the big boys; Lincoln, FDR and LBJ. I'd agree with the last two but, please, do not besmirch the legacy of the greatest president of all time. As for FDR and LBJ, they were schmucks. Have you been to Detroit lately?

We Should Be Ashamed

Three instances of action by the Obama administration in recent weeks should cause great shame for us all. I don't often get upset about what's going on in this country because what can I do? But, here are three examples of how we've lost our core values. You may agree with all three or two or just one but I'll wager, democrat or republican, if you believe in this nation, you'll be disgusted:
1)Bibles and religious items have been banned from Walter Reed hospital. Hey, I thought we had an appreciation for religious diversity in the US.
2)Hillary Clinton was in Geneva on Dec. 6 and gave a speech saying that American taxpayers will be paying for homosexual activism throughout the world to the tune of $3 million dollars and;
3)The Food and Drug Administration with it's Plan B announced that the 'morning after' pill would be made available for anyone--no age limit. Remember this; a student in high school has to have parental permission to take an aspirin. Well, there was such an outcry(think it might have something to do with voters?)the HHS Director, Kathleen Sebelius, Catholic and partial-birth abortion supporter, banned this. Now, you only need to be 18 to buy the 'killer' pill which is understandable because who wants to be burdened with a baby?

Washington Post Blasts Chelsea Clinton

If your name is Hank Stuever and you happen to be a lifestyle columnist for the Washington Post you are now 'dead meat'. "Hey, Hank, check underneath your car for bombs. Make sure you hire someone to cover your back and whatever you do, a food taster is an essential". Steuver had the 'stupidity' to blast NBC's newest correspondent, Chelsea Clinton, as a no talent hack. Forget about what Daddy will do. The 'Wicked Witch of the Western Hemisphere' has your number big guy and she isn't afraid to destroy.

Republicans, Let Common Sense Prevail

Channel surfing last night in anticipation of 'The Closer' I came across those ridiculous comment letters at the end of Mr. Pompous' show, The O'Reilly Factor. One of them did catch my attention. I truly believe that God insists people die young so a new wave of incompetents can take their place. It's the reason folks over age 70 shouldn't learn to use new gadgets like ipods and ipones; whatever they are.
One of O'Reilly's letters stated Republicans should vote Romney because independents wouldn't vote for Far Right, controversial folks like Gingrich, Bachmann, Santorum. These voters(and for my mental health have to include the following),IN MY OPINION, are wacko. Do we really want a middle of the road John McCain? Yeah, that John McCain who wouldn't bring up Obama's middle name for fear of being considered 'mean'. And poor Bob Dole. He was the sacrificial lamb led to slaughter. He knew what was coming. The only reason he was around was to try and keep up a good face so members of the House and Senate had a chance. You think he didn't know Clinton was 'porkin' babes at every turn? He could've created some major waves and handed Billy his walking papers down the road with the info he had. Independents want leadership. They don't want candidates who are moderates--Yeah, I wrote Moderates with a capital M. Ever hear of Ronald Reagan? He won in a landslide in case you forgot, and then he did something four years later. He turned around and did it again----but only because this great conservative had the independent vote.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Tebowing

Denver Bronco quarterback, Tim Tebow, doesn't pray to win. Mr. Tebow thanks his Lord and Savior for the gifts he has received. There's a wonderful interpretation in the Wall Street Journal.

Newt's Ill-Gotten Gains

All the political pundits are bent out of shape because Newt Gingrich took 1 million dollars from Freddie Mac as an advisor for one years work. Albert Pujols signed a contract with the Angels for twenty five million and four hundred thousand dollars a year for ten years. If you figure Albert plays 150 out of 162 regular season games and averages four at bats per game what is the amount of money he receives each time he goes to the plate? I'm confused. Would it be more than what Newt received? Let's see, what's 600 into 25,400,000.00?

Best Slogan Yet



TheLookingSpoon

Another Mistake On My Part

I'm getting tired of being wrong. Some time ago, maybe a month, I wrote that the 100 watt light bulb would be illegal December 1. My error. It's January 1 that congress screws the people. There was a fella who came to our house two weeks ago. Lizzie wanted to know how we could save cash on energy so he checked throughout the house then handed me 12 of the new bulbs. the look on his face as I dropped them in the garbage was priceless.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Jack Webb And Harry Morgan Take On OWS

Dragnet was a good TV show for the 50's. The stage names of Joe Friday and Bill Gannon showed them to be no mess around type guys. Watch a three minute clip as they lecture some young 'boys' about our then society. It's a classic.

Some Do's And Don'ts Of Being A Grandparent

I love being a grandpa. For the most part my grandchildren are crazy about me for a number of reasons: I buy them things; little presents I can get away with on my own. Big gifts need permission from a parent unless they live six time zones away. Then I can use the excuse that I'm always spending money on, let's say, Genevieve, because she's so close to us geographically. I like to 'rough house' with the kids. You know, be a horsey and carry them around on my back, play tickle games, have special nicknames for them. I call Paige, 'Peanut'. Evie is 'Angel' and Genevieve is 'Princess'. The boys don't have special names; don't know why. Kids like to be tickled even though they'll yell, "Stop, stop" while you're doing it. Then when you do stop they'll say, "Do it again", so I will. Kids like to 'roughhouse'. Grandma's don't do that unless they happen to be 'biker bitches'.
On the flip side I've learned in the past seven years that being a grandparent requires constant attention and great discretion. I've also come to understand that being an in-law requires the same. You know how we used to be able to 'suggest' to our own kids what to do and when to do it? Well, forget about it. When I visit one of their homes I knock on the door first. It's their home, not mine. Then eventually they'll say, "You don't need to knock when you come over" but I still do, just to be on the safe side.
I always wanted to be one of those in-laws where the other non-child spouse could call me 'Dad' but not doing it because I was a dad to three and that's enough. I don't want the relationship to be that way, just the idea of it. You know, the option is always there in case I come down with some dastardly disease and they feel sorry for me. Then they can call me "Dad" as though they mean it. If I happened to come out of this 'Death Dilemma' they could say they had their fingers crossed and we would go back to the way things were beforehand.
I think I have a fairly good relationship with the spouses of my children; good not great. That's okay, though. God didn't make it that I had to pay their college education and provide for their every whim. Actually, when a parent becomes an in-law, especially if that in-law on my end is a girl, every parent, prior to the wedding, should be given a handout stating the house rules: e.g. take off your shoes at the kitchen door, no eating ANYTHING within thirty yards of said home unless given special permission, ask before using TV remote, no napping on the couch, when taking grandchildren to a playground find out exactly which shoes, pants and coat they can wear, write out your exact travel route and submit it to the police in the event of a kidnapping. The list can be endless and we have to abide by these rules or we could be turned into the Dept. of Social Services as pedophiles or some other deviants. As a grandparent one can't take anything for granted. Just because one of the grand kids has our blood coursing through their veins doesn't mean 'Grandpa' is the end all, be all. House rules are difficult for old people especially. I'm set in my ways and I feel I've earned the right to tell anyone to "Shut the F up" whenever, wherever---as long as I have a weapon and/or they're wimpier than I. Do you know what my house rules would be if I was the son in law; 1)Pick your pizza crust up off the floor when done; (1) Try to remember to put a coaster under your beer bottle as it sets on the newly finished hardwood floor. If not, no big deal; (3)Don't swear in front of Lizzie, especially the F word. She hates it. That's it. Only 3 rules. If Lizzie is around all bets are off. Those 3 rules existed only in Roman times. You know me. I'm the antithesis of an alligator mouth: "all talk, no bite". Or, as I used to say, "I've got an alligator mouth and a hummingbird butt"
Ya' see, it's more difficult being an in-law for the older guys, guys like me. I tend to forget that a daughter or son in law grew up in a different household and they had their set of rules in their own environment. Then your son, for instance, usually acquiesces to the likes and dislikes of the wife because we don't actually care about house rules except for my youngest son because he's one of those finicky kind. I mean, should it bother us if a lamp is on one side of the living room or another? I don't think so. That's another thing I've learned over the years, forty-three to be exact. If your wife says, "should we put the sofa here or over there"? For forty-two years I would have responded with, 'Who cares"? Now that I'm smart I'll say, "over there is nice" then Lizzie will come back with, "Well, I like it here". Then I get to say, "You know what? I think you're right" when all along my mind is saying, "Who gives a rats ass"?
So, in conclusion, if you have kids who are married without children or have kids with children and you go visit, LEARN THEIR HOUSE RULES. It's going to save problems down the road and will allow you to be a frequent visitor because whatever you do remember this; "your kids DO give a rats ass".

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Just In Time For Christmas


There's a new board game out and it's called 'Spread The Wealth Around'. You decide for yourself if you wish to work in Public Service, ObamaCare, Big Labor or Wall Street.
The best thing about the game is, if you open my attachment, it's free. I remember in the 80's there was a game titled, 'Welfare, Why Bother Working For A Living'. It made it's presence in one of my high school classes and the kids thought it was a hoot. How enjoyable it is to make fun of the things the government provides us. And this game is another example of entrepreneurial genius.

Meet John Drew

You can't really meet him but someone has finally come out of the woodwork and told us what we already know. Obama's Occidental college roommate, John Drew, insists he was a hardcore Marxist at the time. A leopard doesn't change it's spots.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Iowa State University Prof Makes Ass Of Himself

I'm only putting this on my blog because Iowa State is the school where my wife and son matriculated means I spent a lot of cash there. I'm going to quote verbatim what this yahoo said then comment afterwards....I'm hoping I don't use fowl language.

An Iowa State University lecturer is under a firestorm of criticism after he insulted the U.S. military and condemned efforts by College Republicans to collect gift boxes for American soldiers.

“Why do Republicans care so much about the military?” Thomas Walker wrote in a letter to the Iowa State Daily. “Because the military-industrial complex is dear to their simplistic laissez-faire fantasies: a bottom-line patriotism that excludes the people at the bottom.”

Walker is a lecturer in the university’s English and orientation program. He ridiculed the charitable actions of the young college students and questioned their motives.

“Soldiers are to Republicans as fetuses are to them: prized,” Walker wrote. “But once out of the womb-like army, Republican solicitude for hapless veterans goes where extracted zygotes go.”

Notice, if you will the quotes from Prof Walker. Is he your typical egghead or what. How'd you like to spend an hour with him at a cocktail party listening to his diarrhea of the mouth while he sucks on a pipe with an ascot around his neck?
Hah! Laissez-faire fantasies-fetuses and zygotes. Gimme a break. It's like I'm reading something from Bill Ayers. Am I allowed to write the following? No? Sure I can. What a fag!

content from Weasel Zippers

Those Heartless Republicans


Republicans! What a hateful group. They have the nerve to offer legislation in accepting the payroll tax extension that would outlaw welfare recipients from using their cash in strip clubs, liquor stores and casinos. Heck, a person can't have any fun anymore.
Democrats are looking to bring back Anthony Weiner to counter this injustice.

"Hmmm, What Did I Do With That 1.2 Billion"


John Corzine, ex-governor, ex-senator, and continues to be a DEMOCRAT crook, from New Jersey is in a quandary. As head of MF Global(how apropos it's called 'MF') he can't remember where that silly old 1.2 billion dollars of his investors money went. What a shame. I know the last time I misplaced that much cash I looked in my golf bag and, voila, there it was!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Candace Gingrich Endorses Obama


Newt's gay half sister-half brother, Candace Gingrich-Jones came out in support of Obama. And what was Newt's response to this news. Unsurprisingly it was, "Whew, what a relief"!

Reconnecting And Passing It Forward

It's wonderful when a friend calls asking if I'd like to get together for coffee. It's especially nice when we can catch up on old times. I have a long time friendship with a buddy and it began the very first day I joined a golf club in 1999. You know what I remember most about that day? We walked the golf course, talked and got to know each other and we laughed. Those days are long gone. Not the talking and laughing, of course. Now we take carts. Anyway, we spent two hours at a nearby Starbucks today talking about fun we've had in the past and what we hope for the future.
In the course of our conversation I mentioned how important it is for me to reconnect with people from my past and let them know how important they were in my life.
Five years ago I was in my man cave and I heard the phone ring. Lizzie answered then yelled downstairs, "It's for you and someone is asking for Coach". Wow! I hadn't been called that in twenty years. The kid, a man now, on the other end played basketball and football for me and was a classroom student of mine. He was taking a college class to get his Master's degree and one of the assignments was to call three people who had made a significant impact on them in a positive way. Well, I was honored as anyone would be. We chit-chatted for twenty minutes and concluded the conversation.
For the next three hours I reflected on that phone conversation and came to understand this young man did more than thank me. He created a desire for me to do the same thing to others. Too often, when thinking about our past and how we dealt with people and situations, we tend to focus on the negative. As a teacher I think back on how I could've done a better job in handling students or how I embarrassed them in front of their peers of left a negative impression on them. I had to have done some good along the way and made a positive impact but except for a few instances rarely heard about it until my former student called.
Since that magical phone call I've been on a quest to reconnect with those from my past who made me laugh, think, become a better person so I've set out to do something about it.
It took forty years but I learned to appreciate my college roomie who I love and trust so much I begged him to become my stockbroker--and he lives in Oklahoma. Every day I can count on 'The Buffer' to send me a 'good morning' email when I open my messages. If he didn't send one I'd call the Miami, Oklahoma police and have them put out an APB.
There's a man who lives in Springs, Texas. We were high school classmates but lost track of each other for forty-five years. I did see him when a crew of us got together for a golf outing in Arizona in '09 but then there was a connection void. In the last six months we've become like brothers. There isn't anything I can't tell him or he can't tell me. It is so thrilling to make a new friend and be able to share sadness and laughter.
I was the head basketball coach at a high powered high school in Davenport, Iowa in 1974. My assistant was with me for one year then moved to Des Moines. I cried the day he left.
Reconnection? You bet. I called him once since then in 2001 and recently sent a letter telling him how important he was in my life.
Since this blog started three years ago I have made another 'best friend'. He lives in Council Bluffs, Iowa. He was in a class in our high school six years ahead of me which means if he saw me as a 7th grader he could've squashed me the way a tractor tire does a bug. Now, we're pals. Along with his wife we got together in Iowa for two days last year. We had been communicating for two years but never personally met. He gave me a gift; a coffee mug with a map of Iowa and pictures of special places in the state. It probably set him back $4 but I'll treasure it forever because when I look at it I'll think of his thoughtfulness.
I could be doing all of this reconnecting to make me feel better about myself. I hope I'm also doing it to make other's feel even better about themselves. Life is so short and everyone is a good person to someone else.
You can think what you want but when we all were young we were so into ourselves our petty grievances might have lasted years and years. How silly is this?
I've had some wonderful things happen to me in the last three days. an email from a dear friend was sent from Winston-Salem North Carolina, my buddy asked me out for coffee, my pal in Oklahoma emailed again this morning, my Texas 'brother' emailed again last night and the man who was best man in my wedding asked me to spend Friday evening with him for dinner.
If these people didn't care they wouldn't do it.
Lucky me.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Obama Administration Calls Ft. Hood Massacre 'Workplace Violence'

Simply put, calling a massacre of US soldiers 'workplace violence' is treasonous.

Sidwell Friends School Serves Japanese Food Today

Sidwell Friends school in Washington D.C. is where Obama sends his kids. Clinton and Gore sent their offspring there, too. Why not? Afterall it is a private school and you know how these clowns support private, er, public schools. Today, December 7, Sidwell Friends school menu was Japanese food. Sort of makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Yes, it's your normal mix up.

HHS Says No To Over-The-Counter Morning After Pill

One could say Health and Human Services Director, Kathleen Sebelius' decision to ban over the counter abortion pills shows humanitarianism. Not so. What it is is all political. The dems are trying to get back the votes of independents. It's the same thing with Obama having a television conference with Canadian PM, Stephan Harper in reassessing his stand on the Canada oil pipeline. Trust me. It'll happen. Everything is political. When Obama goes against his base you have to know he's in a political jam.

Best Real Life Photo Ever


Channel 7 Eyewitness News, San Fernando, California: "Ladies and gentleman. San Fernando police are on the lookout for a serial rapist. He is black, has short hair and a mustache. He also has a deer in the head lights look".
photo:iOwnTheWorld

West Coast Conservative, Michael Medved


Michael Medved is an interesting guy. He started out forty years ago as a hard core liberal but over the years found the light and has come over to the other side. Medved is also a renowned movie critic. I'm not sure if we can get his radio show in the Columbus area but if we can we're all missing out on solid entertainment. I do know one can go to this web site and pick up his show. He regularly brings liberals onto his show and allows them to offer opinions while he never loses his cool. Enough introduction.
Last year I was driving home from Minnesota and picked up radio station 560 AM out of Chicago and was listening to Medved. He made a statement that I found profound but he didn't source it. I've looked everywhere to back it up but can't find the information needed to make it solid. Anyway, one of his callers was telling him(Medved) that the rich should pay their fair share of taxes. Michael came back with, "there has never been a time in American history when taxes were raised that government spending didn't do the same. This is significant, especially in these times. I do recall a promise Geo. H. Bush made about 'no new taxes' then he reneged. And what occurred next? He was promised by Senate Majority Liar, George Mitchell(D) and Speaker of the House Corruption Society, Tom Foley(D) if Bush would raise taxes they would make sure spending would be cut by the Dem controlled houses. Bush was proven to be stupid and lost the election of '92 and the democrats proved that they were liars. So what else is new?

Franklin and Teddy; The Roosevelt Brothers


Our horrid and communist president took to the podium in Osawatomie, Kansas yesterday to try and convince the American people and those in this local high school that a payroll tax should be continued with the help of taxation on the rich. In a week the American people won't have a clue as to what he said. Let's face it and I want you to be honest with your answer. Obama compared his policies with those of Theodore Roosevelt. First question, ah heck, no question from me. I'll just tell you. Virtually none of you(and don't take this as a slam)know anything about TR. He did save the day at San Juan Hill--or is it a rumor? Where was San Juan Hill? What was the significance? When did TR become president? Who did he succeed and what were the circumstances? What political party did he represent in 1912? Aha! This is the one Obama compared himself to in his speech. Well, Roosevelt was a Progressive; the same type of pregressives as we have today. He believed corporations should play by the rules. TR and Obama wanted the government to take care of the people. Know what comparison I want to see happen with the presidential election of 1912 and 2012? TR had his ass handed to him in that election; the one where Obama tried to compare himself to Theodore Roosevelt yesterday. Nobody cared about his TR's socialist hair brained policies then and I'm sure no one cares now except for the lazy, don't want to work entitlement crowd and the knotty pined college prof pinheads and Hollywood snobs. Why is that? Well, because some think he's a nice guy, or others think he looks cute with his sport coat and no tie and they just love it when he catapaults himself up onto a stage to begin reading off his teleprompter.
Let me relate a story of how really clueless the American people are when it comes to speeches and politicians and history. Allow me, if you will, to set the scene: It was 1984 and I was teaching Advanced Placement American History at Rock Island Alleman High School in Illinos. My classroom door was open and two of my favorite kids and football players were walking down the hallway and by my classroom door. One was Kevin Gorgal and the other Steve Kirik. So, I yelled at them as they went by: "Hey, what are you two yahoo's doing out of class"? I said it a not so gruff voice. They told me their history teacher, Mr. Murphy, had asked them to run an errand. I then said, and they had walked into the classroom by then, "What have you guys learned this year"? You have to understand Murphy was most interested in coaching baseball. He always started his teaching year in September with the Civil War because he said "nothing interesting in American History happened before then". Seriously, he said that. Anyway, I asked Gorgal to name one thing they had learned that school year. He immediately came back with, "we're studying about the Roosevelt brothers right now'. I kid you not. This teacher was telling students that Franklin and Teddy were brothers. And we sometimes wonder why our kids have SATs of 300.
The point here is, the American people don't give a hoot about Obama's 'New New Nationalism' speech. Most of the people at the school weren't paying close attention to every word that came out of his mouth. The high school students in attendance were thinking about a basketball game, or a date or Mary Lou's nice body or an ugly pimple on their nose. The parents at the speech might have comprehended one word of what our communist commander said. It's not that they're ignorant. They most likely had their minds on last night's TV specials or what to buy at the grocery score after this nonsense thing has concluded. Besides, this is hardcore Republican country. Obama won't get a vote in this town.
I know when I go to Mass on Sundays' my heartfelt attempt is to show complete respect and attention to God and Jesus Christ. I want to be diligent in reading the scriptures. I want to sing the songs at communion time but after, oh, thirty seconds or so, I'm off into 'no attention span land'. I'll think of something I have to do that day or some game I want to watch or there happens to be an unbelievably neat female distraction one row in front of me and just to my left.
If you did a 'man on the street' you would find out that most Americans know that Obama is president. They don't know the vice-president or any of the candidates running in the Republican Party. They'd laugh out loud, give an answer in the form of a question then say, "am I right"? People don't care---period.
So, it makes no difference what was said in Kansas yesterday. Trust me, in a week no one will remember. And if you think I'm wrong ask yourself right now, what was the name of his speech and name the town"?

NOW USING A VERY LOUD VOICE: "OUR CLASS WARFARE PRESIDENT SAYS THE GOVERNMENT NEEDS TO TAX MORE AND GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LIVES MORE. FOLKS, WE'RE IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE IF THIS ADMINISTRATION IS ALLOWED TO CONTINUE UNCHALLENGED. IT'S A MARXIST PHILOSOPHY CALLING FOR MARXIST IMPLEMENTATION OF GOVERNMENT".

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Alec Baldwin Kicked Off LAX Flight

You know Alec Baldwin. He's the guy who stars in some TV show. I think it's something Rock. He's also the guy who hates conservatives and he gets off tweeting obscenities to his daughter about what a slut bag(my words but close) she is. He was booted off an airplane today for tweeting while the plane was getting ready to take off. Wish I'd been there. Talk about hilarious.Seeing Baldwin trying to walk off a plane with his head up his rear would be western justice personified.

TV Shows You Watch Determine If You Are A Dem Or Pub

It doesn't take a lot of intelligence to determine political parties and which TV shows they watch. For instance, Glee, is an effeminate liberal show so it's obviously in the dem category. NCIS on the other hand---. The list is here

The Bamster Attacks Al Gore

The 'Great One' gave a jobs speech in Kansas today. He couldn't even get that one correct. Initially, he stated how wonderful it was to be in Texas. In his speech he blamed one old friend for the decline in jobs but also added a new one; ATM machines came under the gun again but this time he added the internet. Seems as though he's always playing the blame game. Listening to this bird is more than tedious. That's why I don't.

This Date In History

A thought popped into my head. I wonder what happened on this day in history. Well, not a whole lot, unless you get all giddy by knowing George Harrison released the song, Ding Dong, Ding Dong. Now, if on the 6th someone had beenb a prognosticator around the 6th of December seventy years ago. They could have made millions. This is scary. The time between Pearl Harbor and today is about the same as between the War Between the States and World War II.

Nancy Has The Goods On Newt---Or Does She

Drudge had a report yesterday that The Queen of the Underworld says she has the goods on Newt and will expose him to the public when the time is right. Isn't this like being in a poker game and showing your opponent your cards before you bet: "Oh yeah, well this is what I've got so I'll see you a hundred and raise you another thousand"
Think about this, if you will. We all know there are more crooks within the boundaries of the District of Columbia than in every prison in the US. "Calling all libs. Nancy's a member of this group".
Bring it on, Nancy. I want to see some dirt thrown, feces hurled, slime catapulted the way Medieval warriors did. I crave get down in the gutter, 'I'm gonna get you' politics'. My only fear is the Republicans don't have a RINO in charge of the counter offensive. We'll die belly up floating in a moat. Regardless, Ms. Pelosi did show her hand. Let's hope someone takes her seriously.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Nice Paintings---------For A Nine Year Old




If the kid hangs in there it's possible he has a future. If you'd like to see some more of his drawings and read his story click here.