Friday, September 30, 2011

Quality Television

It's going on three weeks since the new TV season began. Lizzie and I tape overlapping shows so we have a chance to evaluate the good, bad and the downright ugly. I'm always on the lookout for another Seinfeld or Cheers. I thought 'Whitney' might be the one. Wrongo, Mr. T. It's a dud. Anything with a laugh track is already in the dumpster. 'Two Broke Girls' fits into the same pattern; stupid jokes and worse writing. Do yourself a favor and take in 'Free Agents'. It stars Hank Azaria and Katherine Hahn. The ensemble is unique and there are some very funny situations. He's coming off a divorce and the girl lost her fiance' via death. They are both trying to find themselves as they confront different situations in the advertising agency in which they are employed. It's cute and refreshing and creative--and there isn't a laugh track.
Two very good drama shows are in this Fall's schedule and both are on Thursday evening; one at 9 PM and the other following it at 10. The first is, 'Persons of Interest' starring Jim Caviezel. He played Jesus in The Passion of the Christ. In this show he is a former Army Ranger who, with the help of a brilliant computer wizard, seek out people who are in precarious situations by using futuristic methods of technology. Some of these people are good and some are not so good but our heroes seek and find a conflict resolution. I may be wrong(doubtful) but it's sort of like 'Justified' except it's situated in New York City. If you like to see the bad guys blown away without remorse by the guys in the white caps then view it. Finally, you must see 'Prime Suspect'. The main character is a female cop in NYC who has to overcome the prejudices of the established guys in her precinct. I forget her name, might be Maria Bello. I first saw her in the Mel Gibson film, 'Payback'. If you watched 'The Closer' and enjoyed it then you'll fall passionately for this show. It's a little more edgy and dark than the Kyra Sedgwick, Closer' but is quality written as are all the above mentioned shows.
The nice thing about missing a show you might enjoy is you can usually find it on cable by researching your channels. We have Time-Warner and by clicking Channel 1401 we can view shows from the past that we missed AND the commercials last about five seconds so the running time for each show is limited.
I don't want to brag too awfully much about my TV abilities but I am the king of this sort of thing. Don't ever doubt me on this. Still don't think so? I predicted Capt. Kangaroo and Tom Terrific with Mighty Manfred the Wonder Dog would be a big hit.

Reader's Digest Version Of Solyndra and Obama

Doug Ross at(Gasp!)ABC

• Kaiser’s company, Solyndra, received a $535 million loan guarantee from DOE.
• Kaiser’s company received the loan before DOE received final copies of outside reviews of the deal.

• Steven Spinner raised $500,000 for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign.
• Spinner then became one of Energy Secretary Steven Chu’s key loan advisers.
• Spinner later wrote that he “helped oversee the more than $100 billion” in loans and guarantees.
• Spinner executed 29 stock trades in energy companeis while serving as a DOE adviser
• Spinner held shares in at least four companies that received DOE loans
• Spinner’s wife’s law firm collected around $2.5 million while representing Solyndra
• Spinner’s wife’s law firm also represented two other companies that received $34 million from DOE

• Steve Westly raised $500,000 for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign.
• Westly then became one of Energy Secretary Steven Chu’s key advisers.
• Westly was an investor in five firms that received half a billion dollars in energy grants and loans from DOE.

• John V. Roos raised $500,000 for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign.
• Roos’ law firm (the same firm Spinner’s wife worked for) collected around millions from DOE-funded companies.

The big question is, who told the FBI to raid Solyndra?

A Self-Portrait Of MJ Hawkeye

And some of you wonder why I'm a basket case

Obama: "America Has Gone Soft"

In an interview certain to irritate more than one person, Obama says that America has gone soft. This, from a person who has never worked a day in his life. This from a slug who is like a Hoover vacume cleaner; sucking the life out of us.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Obama Admin. Awards $737 Million Green Jobs Loan To Nancy's Bro-In-Law

Just as it says in the article, this is the epitome of 'crony capitalism'.

E-mail MJ Hawkeye

This is important. As soon as one of you out there can verify an extra IRS tax payment to the government let me know. With the millions of do-gooders in the country there have to be countless citizens making extra payments per the requests of President Obama: George Clooney, Warren Buffett and Matt Damon. I know I'm leaving out many others so, please, inform me.

How To Get On TV And Irritate The White House

By now you know a reporter from the Detroit Free Press, using reliable sources, has an article stating the White House intervened in a Ford television commercial. The essence of the spot was that a buyer purchased truck in great part because Ford wasn't part of the buyout as were Chrysler and GM.
I saw the guy on the Hannity Show last night. He is not an actor. These spots were done 'off the cuff'. Ford had this guy come back a couple of times to see if he would fit into their commercials but he was unaware of what was about to happen. He has been out of work for some time but made the huge mistake on the Hannity Show of praising God for all the good things in his life.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

"Keep Your Hands To Yourself, Mister"

MSNBC, by Laura T. Coffey
Pop quiz: Name one accessory that grandmothers, moms, girls, wealthy socialites, middle-class females and low-income women might be likely to own — and cherish — all across America. If you answered “a gun,” you’d be correct. Based on polling research and gun-sale statistics, an estimated 15 million to 20 million women in the United States own their own firearms. Dozens of those heat-packing women are documented in “Chicks with Guns,” a new book by photographer Lindsay McCrum that is sure to challenge almost anyone’s assumptions about gun ownership.

Members of Congress: Scum At Its Worst

I always wondered how members of Congress can make a fortune while in office. There was a list of these slugs published recently who have made millions in the last decade. Pelosi and Rangel and many Republicans, I'm sure, have drunk at the government trough without any thought they are doing something illegal. And you know what? They aren't.
I was flabbergasted when I found out members of Congress are allowed insider trade information. It's no wonder they get rich. They are privy to any law that would benefit them financially, then vote on it to their benefit.

It's bad enough they get a $170,000 pension for life along with free health care but to use insider trading info to their gain is a travesty. They should be ashamed. Why not call your senator and rep and give 'em hell. I know I will. You can read the article here.

"Guys, Are We Thoughtless Pigs"?

I came across a story about some guy with a Ph.D who is one of those advice gurus for men and women. His name is Patrick Wanis. He has written a number of books for all of us on relationships. These guys spook me. I mean, look at his picture; pink shirt, soft skin. You get the picture.

He wrote an article on 10 common bad habits for men and what they could mean. This bothers me somewhat, not a lot, but somewhat. I've never see articles about the ten things women do blah-blah-blah. Anyway, let's delve into this aspect of why we suck(if we do at all).

1. Always calling Mom. Wanis says this shows a lack of independence. I guess we need to know what 'always' means. Is it like "it depends on what the meaning of is, is"? I don't call my mom. I haven't done it for years. I write her letters, though. She has hearing worse than what Helen Keller thought possible.

2. Leaving dirty dishes. I do this--when Lizzie is at the lake. I like to do paper plates. Dr. Know-it-all says we're being thoughtless. I say why spend time in the kitchen when I could be watching TV.

3.Leaving the toilet seat down. Once again, anther case of being inconsiderate. I leave the toilet seat down for another reason. I'm a born competitor. I make a game out of going standing up. If I don't leave a drip on the seat it's a victory. Usually, I lose. That's why they make toilet paper in small sections.

4. Not opening doors. Who doesn't do this? I've never seen a man rush ahead of a woman in a wheelchair or walker. I always open doors. I might get a better look at a hot babe.

5. Picking his nose. Well, Wanis says this is bad for obvious reasons. There are many ways to pick your nose that are not quite so offensive. A lot of times TV cameras will zone in on a coach and just as they do, the pick happens. Usually it's like this: the forefinger is curled across the front of the nose and the thumb is inserted slightly to the front part of the nostril. Then, the forefinger is rubbed back and forth across the underside of the nose to get rid of any residue. I don't see the "journey to the center of the earth" pick anymore. I'd thank that's done in private. It takes place when the forefinger is jammed, like a pick axe, as far as it will take you toward the brain. Personally, when I lived in Iowa and found myself on the golf course I'd use the Iowa handkerchief. I'd put my forefinger underneath the nostril and let loose like a leaf blower then quickly flip the gunk to the ground. That can be gross but not any worse than what Canadian geese leave all around.

6. Biting his nails. GUILTY! Actually, I don't bite them but the nails are usually in close proximity to the mouth. I can be a "nervous Nellie". I jump around a lot; can't sit still. It used to be a lot worse until I found those magical things called prescription drugs. Wanis says being jumpy is inconsiderate, too. Well, screw him. I came by it naturally. It's in the DNA and genes.

7. Cussing. I think this means I have to show my power. What it really means is I'm PO'd. Cursing is fun. Sometimes I make a game out of stringing words together. It's actually very creative on my part. So to Dr. Wanis I say, "**#@## you".

8.Procrastinating. Dr. Wanis says this shows by not doing something, fixing a broken board immediately, I'm afraid of failure. Well, he's wrong. What I am afraid of is it won't be much fun.

9. Crunching ice. Once again, the Doc says that we're telling the world, "I'm strong, I'm tough". No what I am telling the world is I've got some ice in the bottom of this cup and I want to crunch it.

10. Slurping food. Who, besides George Costanza, slurps food?

Heck, I can do this stuff and I don't need some silly Ph. D to get the job done. Just tell it like it is----or how I want it to be.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Ford Pulls Anti-Bailout Ad

Remember the TV commercial where a guy says he bought a Ford because they didn't take bailout money from the auto czar. According to reports from the Detroit Press the White House put the pressure on Ford to pull the ad. Too bad. It was very effective. If you haven't yet seen it and wish to do so it will be on MJ Hawkeye's site for as long as we are in existence.

This Guy Is Serious

White House Flunks Again

Those of you on the Right check out this map. I have money on your intelligence. You can already see the error in the map from the White House. The Prez is on a three state tour. To those of you on the Left notice that The Emperor is going to be in Colorado. The education dept. highlighted Wyoming as one of his stops instead of the state that has Denver, Boulder, etc. Wyoming is not Colorado and vice-versa. Wyoming, as we all know, is one of Obama's 57 states. Once again, I reiterate, these people are the gift that keep on giving. BTW, rumor has it the White House thinks the state language of Wyoming is Austrian.

Didn't This Guy Play Scrooge In A Chrstmas Movie?

Harry Reid has decided the Senate will go on vacation for a week then tackle the "Pass this bill now" bill that hasn't been sent to the Hill. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the Dems sent a budget there first. How long since we've seen one of those, three years?

He Ain't No Poverty Pimp, Y'All

MJ Hawkeye wrote about Herman Cain a year ago. This guy is solid. As the CEO of Godfather's Pizza he took it from the red into the black in slightly over a year. He understood the costs of health care when he put Bill Clinton in his place in the '90's There isn't a greater comparison between conservative and liberal than a Cain vs. Jackson, Sr. and Sharpton. One is positive and the others are negative. One is forward looking and the others blame their problems on what happened one hundred-fifty years ago.
Cain can't win the nomination. Whoever heard of a conservative, Tea Party supporting, patriotic, religious, pro-2nd amendment, family man, pro-life Black man?
If you happen to be a liberal aren't you more than embarrassed when you think about it? You, more than anyone, want to keep blacks in poverty so you have a platform for bitching.
Mona Charon has a nice column about Cain. Read it, please!

Tim Geithner Justifies Your Paying 200K For Every Job

Timmy Geithner had a sit down interview on ABC TV. He said Obama's American Jobs Act would cost the American taxpayer $200,000 for each job created. And he didn't blink when he said it. Silly me, most Americans don't pay taxes so why would these grifters care, anyway?

Thankfully, It's Almost Over

But you just wait 'til next year!

Monday, September 26, 2011

A Future Union Member

You'll get a chuckle out of this one minute video. Mr. Tough Guy should learn it's not a good idea to put his mug where the world can see it.

Dems Against Sick People

I'm doing this off the cuff. That means it's an opinion piece but a good one. Actually, Lizzie put the idea in my head from a story she heard on the radio. It was on a call in show and, no, it wasn't Rush since she's not a big fan.
At any rate, a caller brought up the subject of taxing people making over $250 large and gave a significant reason as to why it was wrong. Children's hospital in Columbus was built in great part by donors, wealthy donors i.e. through charity.
St. Judes Hospital is funded the same way--by donations. One of Obama's favorite hidden measures in his "pass this bill now" debacle is to reduce the amount of tax deductions allowed for charities; not just by the rich but by all.
If I had the inclination I'd research the amount of money given by the American people to charity. It has to be a bunch. So, President Goofball wants to take tax money for this do-nothing no good democrat party to screw children with cancers of all kinds. He wants to take money for irresponsible entitlement programs that would disallow charitable people from supporting the unfortunate when we have hurricanes and tornadoes. You get the picture, right. As you may know, one of my favorite fictional figures in American are stories written by Horatio Alger. He is one of the reasons I personally strived to do as well as I could given the abilities God gave me. Tax the rich? I don't think so. Wake up and smell the coffee.


The deep funk is getting deeper. It's 7:30 AM Eastern Daylight Time and I can now see outside. Oh, how this bothers me. Before one knows it EDT will be history and EST will be upon us. I will wait for 12/2211 with the excitement of a 7 year old child on Christmas Day. The days will be longer by at least a minute. Thank the Lord for small pleasures.
Our two best neighborhood friends arrive back from France today. Such fun people so I'll want to hear their stories. The rented a villa on the Mediterranean coast. Lizzie and I are jealous. I want to revel in their stories. Monte Carlo and Nice are must stops if you get to the area. I'm getting nostalgic for places I've seen in Europe. I mentioned to our friends that they have to be awake on their flight over the Atlantic as they begin to descend into the continent. They will fly over Ireland and the first hints of the sun will strike the Emerald Isle. It is a breathtaking view.
I recall our last trip to France. Surprise, surprise. I wasn't used to soldiers standing around the sidewalks with machine guns strapped over their shoulders.
Did you know I'm becoming a big fan of Monday. It's the beginning of action. Week-ends are for lounging. Week-days are for lounging with good TV.

Barry Gets Personal

The Boy Wonder, speaking at another fundraiser, mocked Gov. Perry. "You've got a governor whose state is on fire who denies global warming". Now I'm flummoxed. I didn't know arsonists went to the school of global warming. What did they teach them: can't fail fire techniques of matches? It's politics. The Emperor laid into Republicans for health care and other Obama failures. It's beginning to get fun. Now, when Chris Christie jumps in we'll have some can't fail fireworks and it won't be initiated by global warming, either.

Going Broke Ain't Fun

The IMF, International Monetary Fund, may need to borrow some cash to keep from going under. Those European countries sure do know how to throw a party. Why, they just keep spending like they had billions lying around in their garage. Isn't it great to be able to hand out entitlement money to citizens for lying around drinking wine and eating croissants? Some day that attitude might spread to the United States; you know, people expecting the government to take care of them with other people's money. Oops! My bad.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Obama "A Billionaire Should Pay The Same Tax Rate As A Jew"

Yes, he said it but the gaffe(?) was quickly corrected to say 'janitor'. Sometimes, what we're really thinking is what we can't say-----but do, anyway. I know there's been many times when I've said Jew when I really meant to say janitor. Jewish voters might consider this in the future when it comes to voting. I'll bet if you click on the word gaffe you might even get to see and hear the faux pas.

This Is My Kind Of An Idea

Oratory Skills--Who Cares

The pundits and media are having a ho-ho at the expense of Gov. Rick Perry. It seems he isn't a Shakespearean speaker, therefore, he's a boob candidate for president. He's been placed in the same speech bin as GW. Egad! He must be a dunce. Take a "think back" and come up with as many thespians in the presidential Oval Office as one can. Eisenhower had some problems with words. LBJ was from the south. He had to be stupid. Harry Truman was a haberdasher before a political career AND was from the Midwest---another no-no for the elites. But, you will say, what about Bill Clinton? Doesn't he prove me wrong? No! Ever hear of a dude named Ross Perot. He hated Bush senior for personal reasons. I think it's all Divine Providence with Clinton. God wanted us to suffer for our sins. So, if you are a Massachusetts native who's daddy got his money through bootlegging or a Chicago thug who rose to prominence through illegal activities and corrupt associations while having the ability to speak, albeit through the use of teleprompters, forget about being a candidate. It's all Hollywood, anyway. Rick Perry ain't dead yet. Folks, 900 people voted in the Florida straw poll. I want to hear more about his programs. And, yes, SS is a ponzi scheme.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Top Ten Green Job Fiascoes

According to Human Rights see the list and explanation why for the top ten green job failures

"I Scored A One. You Had One Too, Right"?

Star Jones Proves Herself To Be Foolish And A Racist

During the weekly "Today's Professionals" panel discussion in the 9 a.m. ET hour of Thursday's NBC "Today," while on the subject of the execution of Troy Davis, attorney Star Jones used the opportunity to proclaim: "You're never going to see a rich, white man being put to death in the United States of America. That's not going to happen right now." [Audio available here]

The outburst was prompted when co-host and panel moderator Savannah Guthrie wondered: "Some people....think the system is rigged against the poor in our society, against African-Americans in particular, and I wonder what your view is of that?"

Well, Ms. Star is going to have to apologize mightily because Florida millionaire, Bob Ward, who lives in the same complex as Tiger Woods, was convicted of killing his wife. I just wanted to clear the record. I guess this makes me a racist.

Surprise, Surprise, We're Still Alive

The boy's at NASA were slightly off target with the satellite dropping. It fell, surprise, not on me. It's somewhere in the Pacific. That's where most junk goes to die.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Obama Bans Asthma Inhalers

You have this breathing asthma problem and need an inhaler. Not any more. The Emperor's administration tells us they are in violation of EPA standards. The inhalers were Over The Counter types. Now you'll have get a doctors prescription. And life goes on.

Netanyahu Slams UN

I don't often listen to speeches but I did today. Benjy Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel, spoke before the United Nations and laid into them. It was a fabulous speech. If only we had a leader with leadership capabilities who was on the same par with Mr. Netanyahu. I have to be honest with you. It wasn't my intent to be a listener but I was taking a nap when he came on Fox News. Believe me when I say it was worth the time. You, too, can listen and watch.

A Nice Story On A Friday Afternoon

A high school cross country runner, an injured opponent and an act of selfless action give us all a good feeling.

"Oh Crap! I Know It'll Be Me"

Scientists have changed their forecast of the school bus sized satellite landing in the ocean. It's speed has slowed to the point it is now expected to land someplace over the US later this evening or early in the morning. For a guy who has a rainy, black cloud over his head I know it'll land right on top of our condo. If you want my baseball card collection, logo golf balls, coin collection or prized major league baseball autographs get over to Dublin quickly. My golf clubs are in the garage but I'll move them to my neighbors. Only come if you like Mizuno's. Other than that I don't have much worth a crap. Lizzie's babysitting at the grand kid's. Like a convicted felon getting a favorite last meal my desire is a good night of television shows. Over and out!

I Think Therefore I Am

Have you ever considered why you think the way you do? How did you attain your value system. Surely, early life influences had a great deal to do with it. I'm not Lizzie and if I got off my rear and and went into the other room she could tell me a personality is formed by age two or thereabouts. So, nothing is my fault. That's the way liberals think. The trouble is they accept things as they are without changing. I used to be a democrat but only because my parent's were. I was this way through college. Mind you, I wasn't 'flaming'. I just was. When I married and had children I was politically nothing. There were more important things in life like being able to rub two nickels together for diapers and such. Then, ta-da, it was March of 1989 and I was driving around Charleston, West Virginia when this fellow came on the radio. He started talking about things I'd never considered. He was talking about my core beliefs and self-reliance. It was magicical. And, he was named Rush Limbaugh. He got me to thinking---not listening and regurgitating---but thinking---on my own without, if you will, repeating "talking points". Listen to a liberal right now and I swear it won't be three minutes until you hear the words, "Fair Share" come out of their mouths. Know what? They could care less about "Fair Share". What they want is "Fair Take". And they'll take unhesitatingly without so much as a thank you because it's expected.
I love this story and I've written about it before but I'm going to pass it along for new readers. My now deceased dad was a die-hard FDR democrat and a railroad union man. He once told me that the reason he was is because his dad told him the republicans never did anything for the working man. I'd shake my head in wonderment. My dad never read anything and the only things he watched on TV was sports. The two years prior to Clinton's election I was doing very well financially so I started sending Dad some run around money; $100 a month. When Clinton was elected my taxes went up $10 Grand a year. As a lesson to be learned I stopped sending dear old dad his cash. As is typical with the "Fair Take" crowd I received a phone call from him wondering when I was going to send his money. I waited awhile longer then resumed being his personal ATM. Dad never understand because he couldn't think. He felt he was owed and that's the problem with liberals.

Bill Clinton On Parade

Is it me or is Bill Clinton all over the map these days? This morning in Drudge there's an article from him on how Netanyahu destroyed the peace process. A few days ago I read a story on how Obama admires him. For what, his ability to maintain a sham marriage and be a sexual pervert? Then you'll read about how he has the right answers to fix the economy or Hillary is brilliant. Is this a dem strategy to bring back the good ol' days? I hope so. Let's also bring back, Gennifer Flowers, Monica, and every other conquests from the Razorback state and 'celebrities' across the planet. I'd like some closure with Juanita Broadderick and I'm sure she would, too; just a slight apology for being raped by the guy with peyronie's disease.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Socrates Speaks In Cincinnati

“When I, I talked about this earlier in the week. They said ‘well, this is class warfare.’ You know what? If asking a billionaire to pay their fair of taxes. To pay the same tax rate as a plumber or a teacher is class warfare, then you know what? I, I, I, I, I’m, I’m a warrior for the middle class.”

My grandson, Oscar, makes this clown sound like Jerry Lewis in a 1950's movie.

Top 10 Cheapest Tippers in Sports

Those of you in the know already are aware who is #1 when it comes to being a lousy tipper. Rumors have it he rang up a $2,000 bill at a restaurant in Columbus, Ohio two years ago and gave the waitress NOTHING! Take a stab at the cheapsters.

Ask Mr. Wizard

How To One Up Rick Perry

A Tale Of Two Execution's

Troy Davis was executed in Georgia. His story was all over the news for the last week; "Is an innocent man being put to death"? Legal wunderkind, Al Sharpton, has led the charge against Davis' killing(call it what it is). That, in itself, should give sane people pause. Anyway, the Left has come up with all kinds of excuses as to why Davis should be spared. Why, even Pope Benedict called for his sparing. It's okay for the Left to 'use' the Pope except in cases involving Planned Parenthood and abortion. Then they want him to shut up and die.
Ann Coulter has written a piece on the execution of Mr. Davis. It's different from that of the media. It's researched and thought out. Like me, after reading, you will have a grasp on the truth instead of what's been presented to you on the television.

Did you know one of the killers of James Byrd was executed yesterday, too? Remember the incident if you will. Byrd was chained and dragged behind a car. Another will be executed for the heinous crime and a 3rd received life in prison without parole. George W. Bush received all kinds of grief from the Democrat Party and the media, in general, because he wouldn't have the killers charged under a 'hate crime' law even though he went ahead in pursuing the death penalty against them.
You see, we have laws in this country. A black man can put a gun up to a white policeman's face and pull the trigger but he may not be guilty of the crime. Why is that? Is it because of the axiom from the pre-1960's era: "they all look alike"? But, when a white fella is executed for killing a black man it's not on the news until after the fact. If there's ever a race war in this country it's because someone really, really wants one regardless of the facts. Why it might even be someone like Al Sharpton.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Obama The Plagiarist

President Ronald Reagan:

“Peace is more than just the absence of war. True peace is justice, true peace is freedom. And true peace dictates the recognition of human rights.”

Obama today at the UN:

“The men and women who built this institution understood that peace is more than just the absence of war. A lasting peace — for nations and for individuals — depends on a sense of justice and opportunity, of dignity and freedom.”

Obama Is Right-There Should Be Tax Fairness

An article from The Washington Times gives a good perspective on how and why 70%- 80% of Americans don't do diddly squat when it comes to paying their fair share.

Is This Overkill Or Were They Suspected 'Turnip Terrorists'?

My son returned from a fishing trip in Ontario this afternoon. Two groups came across the border in different cars and approached the US Customs agents. I've gone through the border hundreds of times and have learned when asked a question to do one thing and that is to lie. A guy can avoid a big hassle. For instance, when I was crossing into Canada I would be asked the reason for entering. Instead of saying, "I'm going to Hamilton and call in the steel mills then onto Toronto to sell my product to a couple of paper mills and a few breweries". I would tell them, "I'm having dinner with my Canadian distributor". It's easy and it works.
When I came back to the US it'd be something that had nothing to do with my job. It's why I always carried fishing tackle with me. In the winter I'd put in skates and a hockey stick.
Back to my kid. His group crossed the border and were waved on through. The second group was asked the normal questions: "Do you have alcohol, tobacco, produce"? All answers were in the negative but their car was searched anyway. Well, they had forgotten there were four potatoes and two green peppers in the trunk. The group was immediately arrested for bringing contraband into the US and fined $300. I've dealt with these Barney Fife's so many times I'm not surprised. A dollar to a donut that guard would have pocketed the cash. I was crossing into Canada in '92 and for some reason couldn't get in. The border guard took me aside and told me he'd let me through if I had $500. It was another "Eat Me" moment.

Can You Find The Dimwit

The Bamster at the United Nations; wants to go to the bathroom

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Taxpayers Foot Bill For Justice Dept. Muffins

Washington Times, by Jerry Seper

The Justice Department and several of its agencies engaged in “extravagant and wasteful” spending on food, beverages and event planning for law enforcement conferences, including paying $16 each for muffins, $76 per person for lunch and more than $8 for a cup of coffee, according to an audit released Tuesday by the department’s Office of Inspector General. At one conference, a workshop on enhancing judicial skills, participants were served snacks of Cracker Jack, popcorn and candy during a break, costing $32 a person, and also were provided a “deluxe” ice cream assortment that cost $10 per person.

North Korea: The Most Brutal Country On Planet Earth

More than 200,000 men, women and children are held in the camps
Many are hidden in mountains and valleys
People are taken from the streets or their homes and imprisoned for general 'political crimes' as well as involvement in the arts forced to eat rats, frogs, snakes and even their own feces to survive.
From the UK Daily Mail: Read the entire, grotesque article here.

Wing Transplant For Monarch Butterfly

This is in the realm of either, now I've heard everything, get a life, earn a Nobel Prize or start your own school for abandoned butterflies. A lady in Moline, Illinois had a Monarch butterfly hatch but in the process tear off it's wing. Rather than let it die(or flush it down the toilet as I would do) she contacted an expert in butterflies and received a wing from a dead insect relative for a transplant.

Kindergartner Brings Mom's Crack Pipe And $3,700 In Drug Money To Show And Tell

It took place in Sweet Springs, Missouri. What are the chances she won't be at the next PTA meeting?

Looking For Ideas In Dublin

As God is my witness I've tried and tried to come up with a topic of interest for today's blog but all I have to report is nothing. Ixnay on the political scene. The Emperor has enough trouble without me piling on every day. I'll leave that analysis to the pundits who get paid for their work. Golf stories don't do it because I suspect there are plenty of readers who could really care if I go into detail about my latest adventures on the links. I did have a thought that I could drive the car around town and spot a story or two but who wants to pay for gas these days hoping to see a Barnum & Baily story? Lizzie came home from Costco and told me how expensive food was getting. What a surprise. Then she jumped into, and I could have cared less, the price of toilet paper. Know the first thing that jumped into my mind------leaves, the kind that fall from trees. Catalpa leaves would be the best?
I did wash golf balls today. I walked the woods last week on each side of hole 18 at our club and snagged 8 dozen. Can you imagine that? They are pre-owned ones but at $12 per dozen that would come to-- Oh, I'm too tired to figure it out.
We did see a wonderful movie yesterday called 'The Debt'. You should attend. It's about the Israeli Massad trying to capture an evil Nazi doctor from WWII. Go. It's worth the money. And, the theater supplies free toilet paper.

Describing The Obama Administration

Apology:unsure of of author

Monday, September 19, 2011

Because I Thought It Was Funny

Guess Who Said, "You Don't Raise Taxes In A Recession"?

This is a no brainer, unless you happen to be a liberal which means you're a no brainer. The video is here.

Get Ready To Pay More Taxes

Andrew Taylor AP:
Washington - It's not just millionaires who'd pay more under President Barack Obama's latest plan to combat the deficit. Air travelers, federal workers, military retirees, wealthier Medicare beneficiaries and people taking out new mortgages are among those who would pay more than $130 billion in new government revenues raised through new or increased fees. Airline passengers would see their federal security fees double from $5 to $10 for a nonstop round-trip flight and triple to $15 by 2017, raising $25 billion over the coming decade. Federal workers would face an additional 1.2 percentage point

3 Scandals That Make Nixon Look Like A Rookie

An article from the American Thinker sheds voluminous light on recent White House shenanigans. Here's hoping this situation comes to light sooner than later.

"The insane Solyndra loan, the LightSquared cronyism, and the Operation Fast and Furious gun-running debacle have all come into America's consciousness at the same time. How could the government invest in a solar panel start-up that had no prospects for any kind of success, and to the tune of $535 million dollars? Why would a four-star Air Force general say that the White House tried to pressure him to change his testimony before the House Armed Services Strategic Forces Subcommittee to make it more favorable to a company tied to a large Democratic donor? What were directors at the FBI, Drug Enforcement Administration, and the ATF thinking when they persuaded gun dealers to allow more than 2,000 firearms to get in the hands of drug lords in Mexico, resulting in over 200 deaths"?

Quote Of The Day

Give a liberal a fish and he will ask for seconds. Teach a liberal to fish and he will file for unemployment. -Anonymous

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Ron Kirk: Do Your Friggin' Job

(WHD) — President Obama is golfing this afternoon at Andrews Air Force Base. He’s on the course with U.S. Trade Representative Ron Kirk and two of his usual crew, White House Trip Director Marvin Nicholson and Energy Department official David Katz.

While they’re out there, perhaps Obama will ask Kirk why in more than two and a half years as USTR he has failed to negotiate a single trade agreement or get any on the ones completed by Bush through Congress.

This is Obama’s 23rd time golfing this year and the 81st time of his presidency. But it’s the first time since returning from vacation on Martha’s Vineyard.

Thanx to Weasel Zippers

All For One And One For One, Or Something Like That

Quote Of The Day: George Will On Obama

“He went to Massachusetts to campaign against Scott Brown; Brown is now a senator. He went to New Jersey to campaign against Chris Christie, who’s now governor. He went to Virginia to campaign against Bob McDonnell, who’s now governor. He campaigned for the health-care plan extensively, it became less popular. He campaigned in 2010 for the Democrats, they were shellacked. He began, in a sense, his presidency flying to Copenhagen to get Chicago the Olympics; Chicago was the first city eliminated. There is no evidence that the man has the rhetorical powers that he is relying on.” — Columnist George F. Will, speaking on ABC’s This Week.

Cribbage: Why?

Sir John Suckling aka Boring

Lizzie has decided she's going to not only save our marriage but add zest to it. I can be very, very boring; TV and the computer, baby. It's my life. When The Queen came back from the lake she bought me a couple of gifts. A book detailing instructions on how to play thirty different card games and a cribbage board shaped in the State of Iowa. It's snazzy looking; 14" in length and proportionately sized in width. It has a brown shellac and could easily find a place on my man-cave wall.
I gotta tell ya', though, I'm not much of a card player. In college I was more than proficient at pinochle. I also snuck in a game of hearts and euchre once in awhile but over the years I've forgotten the rules and that, for me, is a huge problem. I cannot read and retain. If someone tells or shows me I'm okay but reading and understanding---ain't gonna happen. So, here we were, out on our deck learning the rules of cribbage. I'd read the rules and Lizzie would translate; fifteen two or something like that. I'd deal six cards and turn one over on the deck(never could figure out what to do with that one so if you know chime in). We had 'dummy' rounds for a half hour, Lizzie thanked me for my patience, and I returned to my TV knowing full well I'd faked the entire card learning process.
As I resumed my prone position on the couch I started thinking: who would invent a game like cribbage? What would even give them the idea? Long story short it comes from England in the late 1500's. It was a game called Noddy, but refined in the early 1600's by a fella named Sir John Suckling. How apropos. To me that's like Thomas Crapper inventing the toilet. Didn't people have better things to do in those days? I do understand Suckling was royalty of sorts and depended on the peasants for his food and wine but inventing a card game? C'mon! There had to be more important things on people's minds. Did Suckling wake up in one morning and say, "Today, I'm going to refine a card game"?. I'd think soap and toothpaste would have been high on his list in those days. My next item of business is to get Lizzie off the cribbage game. I'm going to try Euchre and if that's too difficult I'll shoot for "Go Fish". I play that with my grand kids and I can kick their collective butts without reading a bunch of silly rules.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

MJ Hawkeye: A Real Piece Of Work

MJHawkeye: Pictured second from Left:

This story is going to kill me to tell you but sometimes confession is good for the soul. If this is the case I should hire a priest to follow me around.
Last January, as a birthday gift, I purchased a $350 Bushnell Rangefinder. They are used on the golf course to calculate distance to the pin on the green. It was a silly buy because every course is marked with distances from 250 yards in. It was also a ridiculous purchase since all my friends have one and they are more than eager to say, "Do you want to know your distance"? Besides, I've played enough golf that I can guesstimate within three yards how far I need to hit it. From 250 yards out I hit everything in my bag and hope it(the ball) stays on the course so I can hit it again.
Anyway, the first time I used my super duper whiz bang instrument on my home course was in March. I was by myself on hole number 9 and checked the yardage to the pin at 130 yards. So far, so good. On hole number 12 I wanted to find my yardage but the range finder was missing. I backtracked to number 9. Not there. I was in a panic. It was ladies day at my private club so I figure one of these over sixties babes would turn it in. I waited a week then it hit me. Someone had stolen $350 dollars from me. The logical theory; one of the maintenance guys had picked it up and put it on Ebay.
Know what I almost did? I was going to put a sign on the clubhouse door reading: "Whoever stole my range finder should call my phone number. You might has well have the case to my finder since it won't do me any good". For some reason, only God knows, I didn't put up the sign. I wrote off the $350 to my carelessness. I do it all the time.
At my club I'm required to spend $300 per year in the clubhouse; clothes, food, golf equipment. Our head pro is a nice guy. I still owed $200 last week and since the bill needs to be paid by the end of September I told him to order me a new distance instrument. So now I've got $650 invested in something I don't really need.
Yesterday, September 16, is a day that will go down in the annals of history along side the top ten stupid occurrences of all time. My buddy, Craig, and I were golfing at a public course in Johnstown, Ohio. I had my new Callaway range finder. We arrived at hole #8, a par three. It was 142 yards to the pin. I like the new accessory. On the 9th hole I teed off; a nice drive. My second shot was darn good, too. It was a par 5 and I figure I'm 120 yards out but the shot is over water so I'd better check the yardage. Wait a minute! My new Callaway is gone. Quick like a bunny--no, wrong--faster than a Concorde jet I raced back to to number 8. Gone! The guys on the tee hadn't seen it. I went insane. I was crazy. I lost my mind. Somebody shoot me and do it right now.
We were holding up players so we had to move on. My only recourse was to stop in the pro shop afterwards and leave my name. Fat chance of getting my new range finder back.
Craig and I arrived at hole number ten. I hit a nice 250 yard drive to the middle of the fairway. Craigie has a Bushnell so he gave me my reading. He didn't have to. I knew it was 141 yards. I reached in my bag for my 8 iron. It was stuck. I probably had too many clubs in one slot. I yanked on it again then looked at the bottom of the bag. What a surprise! My new Callaway that I must have set on the bag had fallen in to the bottom. I pulled my golf bag off the cart, removed the clubs, and grabbed the yellow case. As I pulled it out my hand brushed against something else. Are you getting the picture? It was the long lost Bushnell, the one I had blamed on thievery
from everyone in the State of Ohio.
As my good friend from Wisconsin says about me, "MJ, You are one piece of work".
Mea Culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Are You Poor?

Care to consider what it means to be poor in our country. e.g. What percentage of poor people have TV's, air conditioning in their homes, cell phones, automobiles, etc.? Click here. You may or may not be surprised.

The Emperor Is Running Out Of Time

Even democrat senators are shying away from "Pass this bill now". Steve Hayward writes of the obvious situation. O-boy is in big trouble.

You Gave ACORN More Money

It has been reported that ACORN received $300,000 from the taxpayers in early August. Silly me. I thought it was verboten for them to get any more of our hard earned cash. Saul Alinsky's philosophy and his acolytes strike again.

Michelle's Bogus French Fries War

Among American children 18 and under, girls 5 to 8 years of age or the ones that get the largest share of their calories from French fries. In this group, the average girl consumes

1,658 calories in a day of which 51 calories--or 3.07 percent—come from French fries.
If you want the total scoop on fries, calories and fat for boys and girls click here.

2012 Election Year Outlook

The inability to be aroused by any candidate
Many thanks to my SL cuz and the author, Dave Bell

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Who Dresses This Woman

Lincoln/Obama Similarities

Thanks for these to my good friend, JR, and iOwnTheWorld:

What do Obama and Lincoln have in common?

Lincoln was hit in the head from behind. Obama hid his head up his behind.

Andrew Johnson nearly lived to the age of 67. Joe Biden nearly had an IQ of 67.

Lincoln was born in KENtucky, Obama was born in KENya – before both moved to Illinois.

Andrew Johnson had no middle name. Joseph Robinette Biden had a silly one.

Neither Lincoln nor Obama ever wrote a book.

Lincoln suffered from major depression. Obama caused a major depression.

Lincoln and Obama were both the first President with a beard.

So, I gave it some thought -

Lincoln’s father was named Thomas – Obama rides a bike like a chick.

Lincoln’s mother was named Nancy – Obama irons his jeans with a crease.

Lincoln was captain in the Illinois Militia - Obama’s feet stink.

Lincoln was a Whig – Obama sits to pee.

Lincoln won re-election in 1864 – Obama has a halting way of speaking that makes me want to shove his head in a toilet and give him a swirly.

Lincoln reunified the states – I turn the channel whenever someone that remotely resembles Obama opens their

I’m done

A Human Interest Story

Everyone likes a human interest story with a happy ending. I found one out of Osseo, Minnesota about a high school football coach who, in his forty years, won seventeen conference championships. It's interesting to me that this man, John Hansen, spent his entire career at the school. Heck, in my twenty years of teaching and coaching I dragged my family to six high schools and I was ten years in one of them. For me, the best part of the story is this. Mr. Hansen, during his entire career, was the high school music and vocal instructor. Yep! I'd never heard of this combo before and that's the story to be remembered. Read the article here and watch the enclosed video.

Remember This Company

Solyndra, Solyndra, Solyndra, Solyndra, Solyndra, Solyndra, Solyndra, Solyndra, Solyndra
Emails show that that White House staffers were offered cushy jobs. Did you forget the name of this company? It's Solyndra. Who would have ever thought a loser solar power company, Solyndra, could create so many problems. The company, Solyndra, is composed of uppities who visited the White House 16 times one month prior to receiving their half billion dollar tax giveaway. I have a friend in the oil industry who works out of The Woodlands, Texas. I'd be willing to bet my sister's dog, Rio, that he's laughing his kiester off with all the news about, did I mention them, Solyndra.


Reporting on Obama scandals is like reporting on the Clinton's. The major difference is the Clinton's were in kahoots with the ChiComs and the Obama's at least have the common courtesy to keep it in the US. Word comes that Gen. Willima Shelton was coerced by the Obama family to change congressional testimony to benefit Obama donors. The article is in the Daily Caller and worth reading.
Can anyone say, "impeachment"?

Got A Problem? See Sean

Remember the fabulously funny line from George Gobel when he was on The Johnny Carson Show in the late 1960's? "Did ever feel the whole world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes"? This is how I am with my new Toshiba computer. I am the brown shoes. I should have hung in there with the Acer I bought in December of last year. It was easy. Heck! I should have bought something Wiley Coyote would have used from the Acme computer company to catch the Roadrunner. I convinced myself that a new computer is like a new car. There are a number of glitches involved in getting used to the product. Wrong on this point. I'm a computer klutz. For the last five days I've been trying to figure out how to link articles for this blog. How to get into my golf site to get a tee time. Evidently with a newer computer, and this is true, pop-ups occur. They something like, do you want to do this or that or would you like to update yada yada yada. At these momentous times I get in trouble. I throw darts. "Hmmm, maybe I should 'accept' or maybe not". It's then that I get smart and tell myself to go see Sean. He is a technology specialist at our MicroCenter Computer store. Sean can fix anything in seconds. I remember being on the telephone to the Philippines with some guy when I first bought a computer. What a joke. After an hour I put the phone up to my ear in case he asked me a question and watched NCIS. The thing with Sean and MicroCenter is that all technology assistance is absolutely FREE. Now, since I've been to this store nearly a hundred thousand times in the last three years it's not exactly free because I casually slip Sean some cash. He's not supposed to take it but if I can be discreet it can get done. This is how much I think of Sean. I adopted him and do call him son.
If you happen to be from any state in the union and have a computer problem make a special trip to Columbus. It'll be worth it and, trust me, you won't have to put up with guys from the Philippines.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

"Mazel Tov" Big Guy

There appears to be a mad scramble by the White House to prove the Big Man has been circumcised thirty-nine times in the last week and had his Bar Mitzvah in a synagogue populated with WWII Holocaust survivors in order to keep the Jewish vote. Oops! I meant to write: get back the Jewish vote.
photo: DrudgeReport

Attack Watch/ He Is Watching You

Here's the deal. The Dems are so bent out of shape with Obama's lack of approval they've decided to open up a site whereby the people can report "poopy" things about the President. These "poopy" things might be blog sites that criticize him. Do you feel like making a derogatory statement about BHO? Well, if one of his supporters hears or reads about it they can go to the site, Attack, and turn that person in for being, well, "poopy".
I've already been to the site and turned in a lot of people. I turned in Nancy Pelosi, Shaquille O'Neill, and Al Sharpton. The Shaq made light of O-man's basketball skills. I also informed the 'intelligentsia about Mickey Mouse, Uncle Scrooge and last but not least the now deceased Soupy Sales. I think he would not have like Mr. Obama.
It's my understanding the site is being inundated with conservative messages by conservatives. These people, the DumbocRats, are incredibly grade schoolish.

Did Michelle Actually Say That?

From James Robbins, Washington Times:

The internet was buzzing Tuesday night with video of First Lady Michelle Obama apparently showing extreme disrespect to the American flag at a ceremony in honor of the victims of the September 11, 2001 terror attacks. As police and firefighters fold the flag to the sound of marching bagpipers, a skeptical looking Mrs. Obama leans to her husband and appears to say, “all this just for a flag.” She then purses her lips and shakes her head slightly as Mr. Obama nods.

A Witty Repartee

Are you one of those people who have a good comeback to a derogatory comment directed at you? I mean, when faced with an insult you can fire back with humorous sarcasm?

I'm not but if possible I'd think the actor Bill Murray would be the king of this. He wouldn't do it in anger, either, but in a measured voice to get his point across and everyone would laugh hilariously.

\Winston Churchill was famous for having a witty repartee. At a dinner party the lady next to the inebriated Churchill said to him, "Lord Churchill, you're drunk". And he fired back with, "You're ugly but in the morning I'll be sober". Another famous Churchill comeback goes like this. Lady Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband I'd poison your tea". Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife I'd drink it". Isn't that classic.

If you're anything like me you can come up with cleverly funny lines when presented a situation--------------twenty four hours later!

The reason I bring this up is because of something that occurred last August 7th. I had driven my son's family from the lake to the Minneapolis airport. I pulled up to the drop off lane at the airport. There were two of them. One was curb side and the other one lane was to the outside. I parked just in front of another vehicle on the outside but they had the opportunity to back up ten feet and drive out around me.

My grandkids and my daughter in law exited the car and were standing on the curb. My son and I struggled to get the damned car seat for the baby unhitched. It was like it was welded into the car. My son was tugging and twisting with it for a good sixty seconds. We'd been occupying the space for three minutes, tops. Then some guy in a Wyoming t-shirt yells out, "ARE YOU GOING TO BE THERE ALL DAY"? Well, I looked at him and responded, "You talkin' to me, cowboy"? Pretty snappy, huh? Anyway, he came back with, "Yeah I'm talkin' to you".

 Now is when it gets good. I really needed Bill Murray or Winston Churchill but what I got was MJ Hawkeye. I said, and you might want to write this down for future use, "Why don't you S-I-U-Y-A". His retort was, "why don't you S-I-U-Y-A". Not to be outdone by his witticism and unwilling to let it drop I said, "Eat Me"! Know what his response was? "No, you eat me"! It was like there were two baboons from the zoo standing on the airport curbside.

At any rate, my son extricated the car seat from the vehicle and The Cowboy saw what was going on and was slightly taken aback. One thing that happened as a result was that Genevieve and Oscar, my age seven and under grandchildren, learned a couple of new phrases and Grandpa felt like a dried out turd.

Then, driving back to the lake and still steaming, I came up with a zillion come backs for the dude. I could have used the lines from the 80's: "you so ugly you should put underwear on your head. I've used the following line when teaching in high school: "You're a good example of why some animals eat their young" That would have been a good one. Any one of those would have been a good 'witty repartee' but, no, I had those in the moth part of my brain.

Maybe the best thing to do would have been to say, "I'm very sorry but I can't get my grandson's car seat out of the car". That would have been easy and defused a potentially dangerous situation. The trouble is I didn't think of that one until twenty-four hours after the fact.

Tea Party Conservative Wins In New York

Bob Turner, with no political experience, won the New York congressional district vacated by Anthony Weiner. It had gone democrat since 1923. Turner ran on a platform of the Obama economy and the president's record, or lack thereof, of supporting Israel. You can't spin this away. The Emperor is in big trouble.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Just Another Pretty Face

Leila Lopes from Angola was crowned Miss Universe over the week-end. She has nice ears.

Obama In Columbus!!!

MJ scanned the Columbus Ohio Dispatch web site only minutes ago. HE has arrived but at Rickenbacker Airport. In our city of 1.5 million people would you care to guess how many citizens were there to greet HIM. Hah! You don't have to guess. I'll let you know. Thirty of our finest were there to greet him. I had that many see me at my golf course this morning after coming home from my Minnesota vacation.

Monday, September 12, 2011

A Waste Of Money

Obama comes to Columbus tomorrow to tout his jobs plan. What a waste of time and money. Air Force One lands at Columbus International at 1:30 pm. His motorcade takes him to Ft. Hayes High School. I've lived here twenty-three years and never heard of it. Surely, it has a union. Anyway, he will give a speech about his spending bill and leave at 3:10 pm and fly either back to DC or some other place to do the same thing over again. If he wanted to show his concern for the economy he'd stop at Bob Evan's restaurant and order a meal. Why not bring a 5 gallon can and fill it up. That'd help. Whatever amount of fuel is used to fill the tank of AF1 doesn't justify what it costs to come here. All he's actually going to do is inconvience our citizens by screwing up traffic. I-70 runs directly through town. Aside from the libs at The Ohio State University he won't get a vote on the north side of the highway and that, my friends, is a lot of votes.

History Is To Be Believed

Considering that I have a Masters degree in American History a couple of items coming from Obama's "Pass this bill now" speech of last week struck me as odd. The Emperor was trying to show that Republicans have used the government in the past to show their strength. i.e. the people depend on the government to get them through life. Lincoln was cited as starting the Republican Party. Obama needs to have his speech writers to more research. The Republican Party was begun in 1854 when citizens of Jackson, Michigan and Ripon, Wisconsin held grassroots meetings(Tea Party, anyone) to counter the extension of slavery into Kansas and Nebraska. Lincoln had nothing to do with it. To my knowledge he never stepped foot in either state.
Secondly, Obama claimed that the government solely financed the building of the Transcontinental Railroad. Another error(lie). The railroad was financed by the issuance of bonds that were eventually paid off with interest. It's development and completion was financed by capitalism. Oh, and by the way, the railroads Union and Central Pacific, took only four years to complete this task. Today, the government couldn't build an outhouse in four years. What goes into one, however, takes place on a daily basis in Washington D.C.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Obama Ineligible For Work In The US

E-Verify is an Internet-based system operated by U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) in partnership with the Social Security Administration (SSA). E-Verify is currently free to employers and is available in all 50 states. E-Verify provides an automated link to federal databases to help employers determine employment eligibility of new hires and the validity of their Social Security numbers.

If you were an employer and entered Barack Hussein Obama’s social security number 042-68-4425 into the data base to verify that he was eligible for employment in the United States you could not legally hire him.

kudos to lookingspoon

Obama Celebrates Grandparents

According to Obama has made a proclamation. From now on 9/11 will celebrated as National Grandparents Day! This has to be the dumbest administration in the history of mankind.

It Wasn't A Tragedy

Sitting in Mass this morning our good Father started his homily by talking about the 9/11 tragedy. I'd heard all the pundits on television and in the media refer to it that way, too. I thought this was strange. My opinion only but I feel Katrina was a tragedy. The flooding in Cedar Rapids, Iowa two years ago was the same. Acts of nature are tragedies. I had an acquaintance die on the 17th green at our golf club a month ago. How sad. He doesn't know is dying was a tragedy but his family does.
What Mohammed Atta and the other killers did was war against the United States. It wasn't an act of nature. My opinion only.

It's All In One's Perspective

In the past four days I have spent a night in communities of 200, one million, twelve thousand and back home in Columbus, Ohio with it's 1.5 million. Depending on where I land I think and react differently. In Hackensack, Minnesota, population 200 I'll go into town to the general store. I leave the car windows open and have the doors unlocked. The town doesn't have a police officer anymore. He was giving too many speeding tickets to vacationers and the merchants got rid of him. In Boone, Iowa, my hometown has a population of 12,000. If I go to Walgreen's I'll have my car windows up but leave the car unlocked. In Dublin we bolt the house up tighter than Ft. Knox even when we go to church. The most criminal act perpetrated in this town in the past decade is when some one's yard doesn't get mowed for two weeks.
Hackensack doesn't have a stop light. Boone has some; maybe three or four uptown (or downtown if you live on the north side) and a couple on Mamie Eisenhower Avenue. They take ten seconds, tops, to go from red to green. In Dublin we have them every two blocks and I can eat three Big Mac's in the time just one takes to change colors.
I was talking to a person in Boone last year about seeing a certain movie. He said, "Why, I'd have to drive all the way to Ames to see it". Folks, it takes twelve minutes to drive from the Boone city limits to Ames.
Yesterday I was driving to buy my new computer, a twenty minute drive(half the time it takes to go from Boone to Des Moines). In Boone, if people drive to Des Moines they take overnight luggage. The first thing I noticed about being back in the big city and driving the freeways was my anxiety level and impatience began to show. It's like I could hardly wait to flip someone off. But that's just me being me----and loving it.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Home And Happy To Be

MjHawkeye is back and rarin' to go. Leaving the lake was easy. I jumped in the car and didn't look back. My last words were, "see ya' next year----maybe". After a short four hour drive to Bloomington, Minnesota it was my pleasure to hook up with my long time buddy, Muss. He went by the nickname of "spider legs" in high school but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Our history is too long and too good. We first met in kindergarten. Miss Peek let us put our nap rugs next to each other and a relationship as born. At age nine we became best friends and, except for a couple of years while he was in the Peach Corps, we have exchanged birthday cards with a dollar inserted. I figure we're up to $55 dollars. Muss and I were like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Laural and Hardy and Ricky and Fred. What a magical ride our friendship has been.
The next day I tooled on down to Boone, Iowa to visit Ma in the home. Then it was onto Bloomington, Illinois where I passed out from fatigue. I stayed in a very nice motel. By nice I mean clean and $59.
Do you realize I didn't publish a single political blog from late June onward. Well, that's going to slightly change. Driving from Minnesota to Ohio allowed me to pick up snippets of the Emperperor's "Major Speech". You know what was in it so I won't bore you with too much of my opinion but I did get to listen to him bloviate to students at either the University of Virginia or was it Richmond? It makes no difference but what tickled me was when he said to these immature boobs and boobettes, "Pass this bill" and they cheered wildly. They have no clue as to what they were cheering. The way I figure Obama could have said, "I'm going to double your tuition for next year and you're all going to flunk every class". And they would have still gone wild with applause.
About two hours out of Dublin I was getting hungry for lunch so I stopped in to a Col. Sanders. The sweet young thing in front of me asked for my order. My simple response was, "a grilled chicken sandwich, please". She came back with, "would you like a doublicious or or a doubledown"? Easy answer on my part: "I dunno". Then I had to ask for an explanation. When I left I still didn't know the difference because I threw a dart at the menu and had her pick. I got a doublicious. Later on I found out my selection had a bun. The other is for fat people sans bun. I picked incorrectly again.
The first order of business when I arrived in town was to select a computer. This is how it's done when you are me. "I want to buy a computer and one that's not too expensive". Four hundred seventy dollars? Holy Crap! Okay, I'll take it". MJ is soooooo easy. I'm happy I wasn't born a girl. If I had been sailors would have been lined up around the block of my house, in pairs, waiting to see me.
Anyway, I also purchased two years of insurance for dropping, stepping on, spilling tomato soup in and otherwise destroying the blasted machine. For me, the $119 I spent on insurance is my gain and Toshiba's loss.
Gosh it's good to be home, Dorothy.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Consistent readers know I klutzed a few weeks ago and stepped on my computer. The screen has a visible crack in it so I thought, "What the heck. Why not buy a new one and help fuel the economy"? This is the tricky part. When I buy computers I purchase based on price not quality. The reason being I don't do much on one: send and receive e-mails, write a blog and once in awhile insert a photo. I google people and I can cut and paste. Other than this I am dufus. My last buy was an Acer. Why is it when I tell folks the name they sort of chuckle? I get an inkling, from their expression, they're saying "dufus".
I know the Council Bluffs Cowboy can offer good advice but he won't embarrass me by putting a comment on this site------maybe. I'm jealous of his computer acumen because he knows how to put those happy and sad faces on e-mails.
So, I'm asking readers to offer their opinions on what computer I should purchase. Now, don't be sarcastic and write something like "get one with a titanium screen, Dufus". Be reasonable and polite, please.
MJ Dufus

Monday, September 5, 2011

A Book? Maybe

Lizzie and I awoke to lake temperatures of 37 this morning so we snuggled in blankets and drank cofffee and talked. She thinks there's a book hidden somewhere inside of me. She may bei correct. One thing I know is I'd have to do a lot of research on the subject. More than that, and I'm positive of this, I'd have to have a passion for the subject. I mean, I don't think I could write about whole life insurance or a frog. The starting point would be to compare my writing style to someone I liked. Dave Barry used to write for the Miami Herald. He's hilarious by making fun of himself. I like that. Making fun of myself is easy. I do it constantly because I'm fairly inept at doing constructive things and stick my foot in my mouth more than I'd like to think possible.
I appreciate Elmore Leonard. He's an octogenarian and wrote the book, "Fire In The Hole". It's the basis for the wonderful television show, "Justified". Leonard had one rule for writing. If you can put it on paper in ten words why use twenty?. It's the old k-i-s-s axiom, 'keep it simple stupid'.
So, where to begin. At this point in time my best bet is to start at the beginning. I'm toying with the idea of something like "See Dick run. Come Spot come". Believe me when I say I think I'm on to something big.

Friday, September 2, 2011

2.3 Miles Of Creatures

From Lower Ten Mile Road to our cabin in Minnesota it's 2.3 miles of twisting, turning gravel and dirt. I get a kick out of this drive, especially in the evening or after the sun goes down. "Dark" in norther Minnesota is really dark. Think of being blind fifty times over. On some nights you can't see your hand in front of your face. Anyway, traveling the 2.3 is often times quite an experience. I have witnessed in my path, deer, porcupine, fox, a cougar, wild turkey, bears of all sizes and varieties, numerous bald eagles, more deer and, finally, enough deer to feed the entire Soviet Army in World War II from it's beginning to end. My next door neighbor told me he had two timber wolves in his yard in '09 and another man related he saw one of them at his place two miles north of us. Who am I to call them liars?
I really shouldn't complain about the deer. It's how we got our cabin. The previous owner built the place. He's a native. We have a very strong lake home association and one has to jump through hoops, even, to plant a tree or remove one. Well, this fella was a hunter. He'd place salt licks in the front yard and take out Bambi whenever he felt like it. The neighbors didn't take kindly to this so they gave him a choice of paths to take: get out or get out fast. He took 'fast'. Lucky us. We jumped on his offer and here we are.
What I haven't seen this year or last or the year before that are walleye. I think, in our lake, they're an endangered species.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

This 'N That

Lizzie was quizing me last evening and asked if I knew the definition for 'decimate'. I'd never considered it. Normally, and I think a lot of people use it in the context of completely destroying someone or something. Then my wise spouse said, "isn't 'deci' one tenth of something"? It's not that big a deal but it gave me pause. Just thought you'd want to know. It's amazing the conversations husbands and wives come up with when only one TV channel is available.
I've decided I will never visit North Minneapolis. We watch, out of boredom, WCCO TV from The Twin Cities. They have to lead the world in murders for kids under 16.