What's Wrong With The Dollar Store? Absolutely Nothing

A few weeks ago I jumped in my car and scooted on down to the local Walgreen's to buy Christmas cards. In the old days I'd mail out a slew of them but now I'm down to around twelve.

The store had a bin with a variety of cards. I look for the religious kind. It only seems appropriate since without Christ we'd be celebrating Festivus or Kwanza or some other made up holiday.

I saw a pack that had Noel on the front and aimlessly walked to the counter as I spied the price. FIFTEEN DOLLARS! My head exploded as I told myself I could do better.

I'm not certain what took me to The Dollar Store. Maybe I had to buy a birthday card for a friend. I did know I could get one at this place for a buck as opposed to a Hallmark card going for $3.99 from Kroger's. As I moved toward the birthday card section I passed a Christmas card display loaded with boxed cards. There wasn't a price on the box but what the heck, they had to be less than what Walgreen's was asking.

The checkout lady rang up my bill. One dollar for the birthday card and, get this, one dollar and ninety-nine cents for sixteen Christmas cards. Well, I'm not your average dummy so I told her, "You must have made a mistake. You didn't charge me enough". Her comeback was, "Why do you think we call it The Dollar Store".?

This scenario begs the question: Why don't people shop at The Dollar Store? Is it an ego problem? Do we feel less of a person because if we don't pay exorbitant prices and we'll be seen as cheapskates by our contemporaries? Are people who shop at The Dollar Store considered less than Wal-Martians? I know people who believe this.

I've finally learned that products sold at a Giant Eagle, Kroger or Winn-Dixie(a horrid store) are the exact same with a generic label as with a brand name on the package. The Dollar Store takes this to greater levels.

Yesterday, I shopped at a Publix in Destin, Florida. I enjoy this market especially because they have a giant scale as I walk out the door and I can weigh myself. I'm a masochist this way. It's smart of them to have it at the exit as opposed to the entrance. Those shoppers watching their weight might tend to buy less items. I know I would. We compulsive eaters are that way.

Among the products on my list to be purchased was a one pound container of coffee, Folgers French Roast. The last thing I wanted to do was shell out $11.95 for the brew--but I did, reluctantly. The only other available brand for consumption except that which the rich and famous buy was Maxwell House. I'd rather drink diluted mud tainted with arsenic than suffer though a cup of that garbage. This morning I shopped at our local Dollar Store; same brand, same amount of coffee. The price; $5.95. What's up with that?

Could it be we're all getting screwed at our giant mega-stores. Nah! It couldn't happen, could it?

My wife asked that I buy her some bottled water. You do know how I feel about water that has to be drunk from a plastic bottle. I've always been a tap guy will never alter my thinking. Bottled water is for people to carry around town making others think they're health conscious. "Hey, look at me. I'm hydrating myself and, by the way, I look good, too"(Don't tell my wife I wrote this).

Regardless, because it's important to do whatever one's spouse asks I grabbed a 24 pack of the bottled wet stuff and took it to the counter. The cashier told me I could get the 32 pack at the same price. "How much is that", I asked. "Oh, it's two dollars", she said. This, to me, was mind boggling even though she could have turned on our tap for next to nothing. The Publix price; nine big ones.

Once again, I have to wonder why people don't shop at The Dollar Store. Maybe folks don't have this place on their minds unless they want to purchase ballpoint pens and happen to come across other items. I ask you, where else but The Dollar Store could you buy two large bags of Doritos for five dollars? I'd pay that amount if someone had opened them and taken a couple of handfuls.

And get this, I didn't even check out the price of toilet paper.

The Dollar Store, it's a happening place.