"Guys, When Golfing In Scotland Learn The Rules

 I saw this post and it brought back a wonderful memory of the time I golfed in Scotland. The course was a nothing one except the aspect of it I enjoy most was the scorecard. In Europe these things look like they were designed by Rembrandt. Very cool. What'd I shoot? Got me but I do recall the time I played at a course in southwest Ireland. The course was called Old Head Kinsale. It was right on the Atlantic coast. I'd gone with a group of folks from Ohio who I kind of knew. Yes, Her Majesty was with me. 

We had three or four foursomes and I was hooked up with one guy from Westerville and two from out of state. At the time I wasn't embarrassing myself and when one of the guys mentioned a money game I reluctantly agree. As luck would have it I shot an 84 with two double bogeys and won----------except the big mouth, who was from Chicago, stiffed me. Know what? I didn't care because inside I knew he I would never lose that feeling of victory.

I might have mentioned this before but it bears repeating. My next door neighbor at the time hit one of the top two golf shots I'd ever witness. We were playing another Irish course designed by Greg Norman. On a par three the guy hit an iron shot into a sand bunker to the right of the green. Europeans can be masochists when it come to bunkers. This trap was at least 15' below the green. The guy swung and the Pope must have put holy water on it because it went in the hole for a birdie. I hope he kept the ball.

You're probably asking what the other all-time shot was in my arsenal of the greatest. In 1982 I was managing a golf course in Davenport, Iowa. A group of Palmer College of Chiropractic students came out to play nine holes. Here's the background and it's simple: They were from Sweden and had never in their Nordic lives ever swung a club so I walked out to the first hole with them. Hole #1 was a 185 yard par 3. The first guy on the tee, I'll call him Swen, took a swing. He made contact and as the ball entered the stratosphere I thought, "You've gotta be kidding me." Then, as I watched the ball hit the green and roll, and roll and roll into the cup I said out loud. "You've gotta be shit*ing me. And that's the truth. It took me thirty years to garner an ace and this guy from the land of ABBA does it on his first swing.

Golf, if you've never done it is the most frustrating game invented. I mean, you're standing over a ball and its not moving. What could be easier. Well, winning WWIII would. Unfortunately, golf is a lot like heroin. Once you start it's hell getting off of it. But I love it.