The Dumbest Person In America

 The votes are in and have been tabulated. It's now official. The absolute dumbest person in American is MJ Hawkeye.

In order to understand why you have to have traversed Interstate 94 from the south end of Chicago that goes into the City. Then continue on to the Wisconsin border some twenty-five miles north. I personally, did this two evenings ago on my way to a cute burg called Mukwonago, Wisconsin located in the southeast corner of the Cheese State.

I secured a motel on the outskirts of Kenosha and cursed myself for driving this route. I could have gone on the west side of Chicago on I-294 but I didn't feel like paying the $10 toll feel. I give the words 'moron' and 'cheapskate new meaning. As I laid in my bed I swore I would never under any circumstances drive through the worst run city in America ever again. In the downtown area I-94 became a parking lot. I'm an expert in cursing and I opened up the verbal vault. How the people of Illinois can survive this driving on a daily basis is beyond comprehension.

I was in Mukwonago for a funeral and left for my return home trip to  Ohio at 4 pm CST.  My direction finder tried to tell me it was a 7 hour drive as long as I didn't have to stop for fuel or eat or pee. From this town it's a mere 60 miles to the inner guts of midtown Chicago. It's then that whatever brain I have left went on vacation. I convinced myself the drive back to Ohio might just work retracing my route because most of Chicago will have left their jobs on Thursday and headed out to Mom and Dad's to get an early start on the holiday week-end so I did what I said I would never do. I drove back through Chicago, Illinois on interstate I-94. Oh, and a torrential downpour didn't help, either. Have you ever seen the Sears Tower in The town God forgot? Well, I looked at it for 45 minutes because that's where my car was dead stopped.

I had emailed a couple of friends the night before about my trip and told them things could be worse. In the first place I wondered how many cars are on that particular strip of highway. It has to be in the hundreds of thousands. I imagined I was in Chicago in January and it was zero degrees fahrenheit and the government had achieved their goal of all electric cars. Wow! I can only imagine the tragedy of driving on that road with drivers looking for recharging stations. So, I felt better-----for awhile.

Yeah, I made it back to our home------nine and a half hours later. My pooch, CeeCee, was at our front door to greet me. She didn't help sooth the savage beast. I promised God I would never, ever drive on I-94 again------until the next time I suppose.