Neat Junk You Don't Know About Ketchup

I'm a ketchup freak. There is almost no food that doesn't deserve the scarlet delicacy. I say almost because my granddaughter who spent the week-end with us and is privy to my craving asked, "Grandpa, do you put ketchup on ice cream"? That might be the exception. But I've thought about it and that counts for something.

Did you know that in the United States of the 1830's ketchup was used for medicinal purposes? This historical tidbit is why I'm so healthy. Those who don't have their hair fall out early on. Non ketchup eaters lose their teeth before they reach mid-life. It's a known fact that they have stinky feet, men more than women.

If you thought Ketchup(I call it catsup but only to confuse people) was invented in Italy you'd be 100% incorrect. It's totally American and saw the light of day in Philadelphia in 1812 but has since faded in popularity. This is why Philadelphia is often times referred to as 'The City That Ketchup Forgot'.

Ketchup has other uses besides as a condiment. When you're a little kid you can ladle it on your clothes and body and fake out some girl into thinking you're an accident victim. I did it to Marsha McCoy once and she screamed. Also, I won first prize at our kindergarten Halloween parade in 1951 for my bloody costume. I went as Dr. Kut M. Up. As for the name I was clueless but I won and that's what counts.

Supposedly 97% of American homes have ketchup in the fridge. I read that salsa has overtaken the red sauce as America's favorite. Ah pshaw! Anybody who uses salsa as a replacement for The Big K is a sissy girl.

The best and most cost effective place to buy my delicious friend is at Target. I'm not making this up. My wife read it in a women's magazine so it has to be true. After 45 years I've learned one thing about my wife. She's always right.

If you read this blog regularly you know that the most popularly sold Ketchup product is Heinz followed by Hunts. I don't buy Heinz but only for political reasons. Who wants to give more money to John Kerry so he can use it to go wind surfing off Cape Cod?

So, the next time you visit an upscale restaurant make certain Catsup has a significant location on the main table as a compliment to your filet mignon. It's a thrill seeing your server and the head chef gag at the prospect of their masterpiece drowning in God's most perfect edible gift.