Pizza, Pizza And More Pizza

I ask you, who doesn't like a pizza pie? It is an American staple of fine food. You can forget the notion that the pizza came from Italy. When it comes to the tasty dish they are clueless and we win. That's what we've been told.

In 1968 while touring Venice on the eastern shore of the Italian peninsula I decided to have an anchovy style pie. What a disappointment. It was six inches in diameter ladled with a  dried red paste and garnished with one minnow(would that be an anchovy) situated in the center, eyeball included.
Martha Stewart would have given it an F-.

Since my wife has been going about the business of opening up the Minnesota lake place I've become my own personal cook. Thank God for the microwave, paper plates and a variety of condiments. Salads are good, too. They're easy and if you don't have chicken or some other meaty dish to include it's not a huge problem. All you have to do is double the amount of salad dressing.

Last night I'd had enough of this Spartan existence and decided to go for the gusto, something out of the mainstream; a food I rarely consume.

Pizza caught my attention as a food not on my 'go to' list, not because I don't like it but because one has to place the order, then jump in the car to pick it up. I could've ordered delivery but who wants to pay a sawbuck tip? Not me.

So, I got on the computer to check out pizza parlors in our village of Dublin, Ohio. Calling Dublin a village might be a misnomer because the community has 60,000 people. The downtown, however, is two blocks in length so that's how we get to be called a village. It's a way to be quaint in a not so quaint United States.

In Dublin there are 41 different pizza parlors. Does that seem overloaded? Don't people eat at home?
"Hey mom, get back in the kitchen". (Don't comment on this. It's what we've become)

I passed on the chain parlors; Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, Dominos. There are many establishments uniquely locally owned. I looked at their ratings. One, Romeos, had a four star out of five ranking. It sounded good to me so I gave them a jingle and asked for the Cowboy style one. It was loaded with every meat imaginable and then some. The bill came to $17 but I threw caution to the wind and told the owner to, "go for it"

My first mistake was that I ate the entire 12" pie. The second problem was I forgot that a pizza pie is composed of ten pounds of salt and things that make your stomach say, "Hey Dude, you're in big trouble now".

The third and most egregious problem: the four star wasn't all that wonderful and I do regret spending that kind of money for allowing me to become Dublin's all-leader in expelling unwanted intestinal gas in this morning.

If I had to do it all over again I'd visit Kroger and buy a Red Baron. They taste like cardboard but the going price is only $7.