I don't wear a watch anymore but it's because the three I have are broken and I don't want to spend the money on repair. Besides, who needs one? If I'm looking at television and want to know the time I press a button on the remote and it shows up on the screen. My stupid iPhone has one and if I'm without it I'll walk up to someone the way I used to do in the old days and say, "Do you have the time?"
If you do have a watch and want to know the time there are certain situations when it's best not to look at it.
1. When your boss is talking to you.
2. When your wife is trying to explain why beer is bad for you.
3. If you are giving a talk at a funeral explaining why the deceased was so important to mankind.
4. When the boyfriend of your daughter is asking for her hand in marriage.
5. When your doctor tells you it's time to pull the plug on your comatose wife.
6. When a judge is sentencing you to life in jail for murder and you're preparing to ask for clemency.
7. When 13 coffins are brought home from Afghanistan and you're standing on the airport tarmac.
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