Life In Minnesota For An Illegal Alien

Off the cuff I've come to the conclusion I'm an illegal alien in the state of monster mosquitos and horrendously high taxes. In other words, I don't fit in.

First, I don't speak 'Up Nort'. It is an acquired skill and found primarily due north of Brainerd to the Canadian border, from Moorhead on the west to Duluth on the east. At one time I wanted to talk like a native but then, after some consideration, came to the realization I didn't want the moniker of illiterate.

I've been to the lake for two weeks and that's enough. This dude is a city boy. It's 2.3 miles from our lake place to the main road. My grandson and I had to wait fifteen minutes for a mama skunk and her single kit to leave our gravel drive. The striped pest sat and stared at us for what seemed like an eternity then nudged their kid which didn't want to move. I'm smart enough not to drive around those things and have the car sprayed. It takes a new coat of paint from Earl Scheib to get rid of the smell.
Since I've lived in Dublin, Ohio I have not seen one skunk. Not one.

New York has nothing on Minnesota when it comes to the price of a pack of cigarettes. They go for ten bucks in the county where Minneapolis is located, nine dollars everywhere else. "Hey, somebody has to pay for the new professional sports facilities so why not the sinners". The way I figure is this. If God didn't want man to smoke then He wouldn't have made the tobacco plant. And furthermore, he wouldn't have placed John Rolfe on this planet to cure the damned leaf.

I'm now 14 days into being 'fishless' on this 5,000 acre body of water. It's called Ten Mile Lake but it's other name is the Dead Sea II. Did you know native American Indians can fish anyway possible for walleye in Minnesota and there's no limit.  They better not come to my lake. They'd starve to death.

I've enjoyed having my three Arizona grandchildren with us especially when they are sleeping.
My life is twenty-four seven of, "Grandpa, can we do this, can we do that can, I have this, do you have any money? I am being facetious about this aspect of family. They're fun(most of the time).


One last item that rankles me about Minnesota. Ohio, which has no inland natural lakes of any kind, has passed a law saying all fisherman over the age of 62 do not need a license. This would include Lake Erie.

In Minnesota,  a person does not need a fishing license after the age of ninety-one. I know why. No one lives that long.

In Minnesota the Democrats rule. God only knows why but they do. Maybe it has something to do with it being a welfare state.