What Would You Do If You Won The Mega Millions?

Tonight's the big night------again. It's drawing time for someone of more to enter into a life of misery.
I bought two tickets in the last draw and the time before. I've spent a sawbuck and that's enough.

I'd like to have the one time cash payout because I'd give most of it away. I have special charities; St. Charles Prep in Columbus and the parish of a real* Catholic priest in inner city Columbus.

Of course, I'd set up trust funds for my children and grandchildren as long as they meet certain conditions up to age 40. I can be a real jerk, right?

One bit of fun I would have would be to send out personal invitations to golfing pals I've had over the years. Most of them wouldn't know each other but that's alright. I'd rent a jumbo jet and all seats would be first class. We'd fly to England and Scotland and play the very best courses ever created and it would all be on my dime including the 5K in walking around money I'd give them.

It's a pipe dream though since I didn't buy a ticket. You see this all sounds too good but the way I figure the bad far outweighs the positive. Luckily, Ohio is one of six states where you can keep your anonymity. How long do you think that would last. I can only guess the kidnappers hotline would be working overtime to snag one of my family.

I'd have to undergo plastic surgery as would Her Majesty. We'd be forced to move to the French Riveria and hob nob with the rich and homosexual crowd of the world.

I can promise one thing. Whoever wins will have gone through cash faster than I can eat a bag of Planters Peanuts.