Keep Them In Your Prayers

 I'm at that stage in life when I can legitimately say I've about seen it all. It's easy to do this when you're in the 'check out generation'. All I have to do to solidify this thought is remind all those younger than I, which is about 90% of the population, is that when I was a kid we had telephone operators to connect us to our friends, that in order to change a TV channel my parents made me get off the floor and manually do the deed.

I was trading texts with a friend in North Carolina last night and he asked me if I was fearful the citizenry of Ohio might take drastic action since their vaunted Buckeyes were smashed by Michigan in the 'game of the century'. I told him I'd already acted. The first thing I did was board the windows of our condo. After this I covered our entire roof in asbestos. If you think I'm kidding then you've never seen grown people cry with anguished tears. As for me, I really don't care. My Iowa Hawkeyes were pitiful in their loss to Nebraska on Friday. They were so bad I switched over after halftime and watched the Iowa State Cyclones defeat the Univ. of North Carolina in basketball. Folks, sports have been my entire life but there comes a time when we have to move on.

I began following the Iowa Hawkeyes with a fervor in 1953 as a seven year old. I'd turn on WHO radio on Saturdays and listen to entire games. At 10 pm that same night WHO replayed the game. I'd lie in bed listening to announcer Jim Zabel as if the game hadn't been played. I've been doing Hawkeye thing for the last seventy years and in the wake of defeats I still get a good nights sleep. 

As for the Buckeyes on this Sunday post game the avid fans are erecting scaffolds in their back yards. Gun stores are now out of ammunition while the City of Columbus prepares for an onslaught of suicides. As one might expect the media pundits are calling for the firing of Coach Ryan Day. If I were he I'd book a flight to Mars ASAP.

It's going to be 100% misery in Central Ohio for another 364 days. My Hawkeyes went 7-5 this year. That's what we Hawk fans call success. Look at it this way. If Iowa was a country and went to war with another country and won these wars two more times than they lost there'd be dancing in the streets and in the bars. 

I have one final thought for Buckeye fans who can't handle this losing; become a Hawkeye fan. You'll live longer and be much happier.