"Shut Up, Sit Down And Eat"

'The best little diner in America'. Isn't that a better way to start off than writing 'The best little whorehouse in America'?

My friends in Hilton Head, SC convinced me we should visit a legendary 12 seat diner while I was in their community. They'd never been to the eatery, either, but had heard rave reviews so we gave it a shot.

The place is called Harold's. As you enter the establishment you immediately see a sign: We root for two baseball teams; the Boston Red Sox and anyone playing the Yankees. That's good to know because with interleague play I could now talk about the Chicago Cubs without fear of reprisal.

The place is a two man team, Harold and another guy. They don't mess around when it comes to getting your order to your plate. My request was a turkey Rueben. It took five minutes to receive this mountain of meat, sauerkraut, bread and other stuff I didn't dare ask about. It was scrumptious.

On the wall were rules that needed to be strictly adhered to:

1) Seat yourself wherever possible
2) Order--fill out your own menu
3) Always be listening. Your order may be ready
4) If something goes wrong it's you own damn fault....Here the customer is never right
5) Eat: Hunker down...no sissies allowed
6) Exit- You're done, leave. This ain't Starbucks
7) Pay when your bill is ready...no credit cards, no checks, only cash. Leave

This is my kind of place for a couple of reasons. I asked the owner his address. He told me he only passes out this kind of information on a need to know basis. By the way, it's 641 Wm. Hilton Parkway. I appreciate folks who are up front and operate a no frills operation.

Secondly, he had two bumper stickers among many that caught my eye. One read, 'Obama sucks'. The other? I can't place it in this blog. It also dealt with Obama but I've heard children sometimes read MJH and I don't want to receive hate mail.

If you're ever in Hilton Head visit Harold's. It's a gem of a place but don't tell the owner I said so. He might take offense at my compliment.