It is with broken heart I write that the Jenny Craig diet centers all across the country have shut their doors. In her memory I've decided to eat cottage cheese and an apple today instead of a bag of chips. My memories of being a customer, four different times, date back to 1990. I've penned a blog piece on Jenny Craig in the past but in her honor I'm going to repeat it for any 'newbies' reading today.
In 1988, my last year of being a high school teacher before entering the world of business, I was a sleek, mean fighting machine. At the age of 42 I could run like a deer. My waist size alternated between 34 and 36. Man boobs were not a part of my vocabulary. You get the picture, right? My weight was the same as the year. I weighed 188 lbs. which would soon become a distant memory.
Anyway, in the Fall of '88 I joined the world of an on the road salesman and I could not comprehend what lay ahead for me when it came to weight gain. As a peddler my boss told me I'd put on some pounds. I scoffed. What he didn't tell me was I'd eventually need an industrial scale to weigh myself. I was such a naive fool. When I was hired my boss also said the company would buy my meals when I was on the road. This announcement caused me to chuckle incredulously. "Why would you buy my meals," I said. "I'd have to eat if I was on the road or at home." It didn't cross my mind this is how the real world works. It also didn't cross my mind restaurants would have to double stock their food shelves to keep up with my eating habits.
My new job caused me to drive and drive and drive some more; on average around 75,000 miles yearly. Being a teacher/coach for 20 years meant I was active from 8 in the morning until my athletic duties were completed in late afternoon. This schedule meant I couldn't eat at will. It never once crossed my mind that I would be traversing the interstates while unconsciously sucking down a bag of potato chips, all 1400 calories of chips------ while sitting oh my rear end but I did.
I have to admit I abused my body and it was my fault. I enjoy eating. Please understand I didn't financially abuse the company policy of buying food. I didn't eat at places like the Ritz Carlton but I did visit establishments with signs out front reading 'buffet'. I searched out these food mecca's for breakfast---for lunch and, most of all, for dinner and I stayed until closing time.
I never imagined I could push the envelope to the point that 188 lbs. would be akin to a newborn weighing 7 lbs. 11 oz. It was a number I would never see again. One good aspect of having a loving wife is she is reluctant to knowingly embarrass me. It seems unimaginable I could pack on fatty flab in a short period of time. As I look back the phrase, 'A tub of goo' comes to mind. So, from my 12 lbs. under 200 in 1988 to January of 1990 I became the Fatty Arbuckle look alike. Let me spell it out for you. TWO HUNDRED SIXTY-SEVEN POUNDS!!!!!!
Granted, I knew I had gained some weight but 267 lbs seemed unimaginable. I was so fat when I cried tears ran up my cheeks.
Financially, sales had become a good job for me in 1990. It was so good I qualified for a company trip which was awarded to successful salesmen. The reward that year was a weeks vacation, all paid for by the company, at Marco Island, Florida. The events that followed were to be a life changer.
We flew in to Ft. Myers then picked up our rental car and drove south. On the way to Marco I had to do what men do quite frequently and that was to empty my bladder. I found a Burger King which was to be my oasis. I have to tell you I'm not one of those people who can walk into an establishment and use their facilities then walk out so I buy an item to appease my conscience. As I entered BK I noticed two young girls leaning on the counter resting their chins in their hands. These workers stared intently at me as I walked toward them. As I approached I said, "I'll have a small coffee, please." And from one of them I heard the word "Shoot!" I'm an inquisitive guy so I came back with, "What's the meaning of that" And the young lady told me: "Well, when you walked in we had a ten dollar bet. I had you for two Whoppers, two large fries and a large shake."
I had only one response and that was to laugh. On the inside of my brain I had another reaction and it was, when I got home I'll commit myself to Jenny Craig and I did. It took me 5 lbs a week for ten weeks to get back to the 1990's. I was happy with the results and would continue to be over the years because my love affair with Jenny Craig occurred three more times. "Hey, I'm a slow learner!"
So, it is with heavy heart today that I raise a banana instead of a glazed donut in honor of Jenny for all that she did for me. My wife thanks her. My pants thank her and my once voluminous man boobs thank her.
All Hail Jenny--gone but not forgotten.
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