Seinfeld Blog

It's been twelve years already since Seinfeld, the "show about nothing", went off the air. Today, I'm writing a blog about nothing based on the same premise and see how many humorous responses I receive. Hold onto your sides--Here we go.
I woke up today. Laughing yet? Stiff doesn't describe the aching in my knees and other hip. Thank God for ibuprofen! Ahh, coffee. I always put in two huge scoops of brown for a ten ounce cup of water. I want my brew to stand at attention before I take that first delectable sip. "Stop, MJ. You're killing me."
Another rainy day in Dublin, Ohio so I went to the golf course, not to play, but to hawk golf balls. My supply is about gone. Some people actually spend $45 on a dozen balls. Morons! I've hawked for years and have made a science out of chasing the dimpled 'white critter'. I put on clothes that might be used in the jungles of Guatemala and head out in search of those elusive Titleists. I wear a hooded sweatshirt. It keeps my face and head from being ripped to shreds by thorns and bristles. Long pants are a necessity. Sometimes I forget and don shorts. After a foray into no man's land my legs look like a tiger gnawed on them.
I always take a radio headset with me. I listen to Glenn Beck. My old golf course was an oasis for finding balls. I could hunt every other week and find 15 dozen. My new course is a lot tougher and I'm a lot older so sometimes, when I see a treasure in a precarious position, I just say, "screw it".
This will make you chuckle. I saw a mammy duck with three little chicks guarding an egg. Wrongo! Daisy Duck was protecting a golf ball! Stupid duck. Chuckling, yet?
After I left the course, and this will slay ya, I came home to read email messages.
I send and receive emails to a neat lady in North Carolina. Never personally met her and probably never will. She's funny, though. She has a sometime column in a North Carolina publication. I once asked her about inspirations. She wrote back. Erma Bombeck and Lewis Grizzard. Those are two funny, funny people. Too bad. They're both dead. Ha-ha-ha.