Saturday, September 21, 2013

Weddings: They Aren't For Guys

I've been married going on 44 years and it still rankles me that weddings aren't for guys. We get shut out on everything, especially gifts.
A teaching and coaching buddy of mine along with his wife moved to Arizona twenty-five years ago from Illinois but we've stayed in touch over the years. When my daughter lived in Scottsdale I rented a car once and drove 3 hours to make a visit. They live in Parker, Arizona, situated on the Colorado River across from California. Lucky for them they don't live a mile west. Anyway, they're youngest son is getting married this October and we received an invitation to attend. They were registered in the gift section at Bed, Bath and Beyond and Target. It's easy to buy a gift off of these places on the internet. Couples even put a 'wish list' on it. I don't like usually go this route because it's too easy; sort of like sending an email to someone instead of writing a personal letter via snail mail. Regardless, we made an attempt but couldn't find anything that she( wife) thought was the correct gift. so we wandered into Walker, Minnesota, population 967. They have a number touristy places to shop and my wife saw a salad bowl that she liked. It was hand made. She thought it would make a wonderful gift. "Oh, they'll just absolutely love this", she said. I looked at it and thought, "If you say so". There was an elderly lady standing next to me and I asked her opinion. "Oh, what a beautiful salad bowl. It's adorable". Once again, I'm thinking, "It's a damned wooden bowl". If I was the prospective groom my reaction would be the same as if I saw a dead bird along side a highway.
The more things change the more they stay the same. You've heard that phrase before. The 'same' would be December of 1969. That's the month we were married. I remember how I had to look at gifts and act like I was thrilled.
Why is it a gift can't be for a guy? Why aren't there showers for guys? I could have asked my high school buddies plus everyone in my wedding along with new friends from Storm Lake, Iowa where I coached and taught to come to MJ's shower. For starters I would have rented out the Knights of Columbus Hall. The beer taps are never shut down in that place. I wouldn't have held the bash the night before the wedding, either. They do have air flights to Vegas don't ya' know.
My gift list would have been the following:
1) cases of beer
2) beer mugs that were unique. They would have had a bikini clad lady emblazoned on the front.
3) a pair of tickets to an Iowa basketball game would have been good.
4) a mini TV to use in my man cave.
5) sporting goods. Name a normal male who doesn't like sporting goods.
If a guy put his mind to it the list could have been endless.
One thing I'm certain about is I wouldn't have asked for a wooden salad bowl. And you can take that to the bank.

No comments: