Even Steven Might Be A Good Deal

You know about those people whose goal in life is to amass tremendous amounts of financial gain.
Then, on their death beds, they'll go the same way as me. Some will go kicking and screaming and others will fade into the darkness without a whimper.

I've always had a philosophy about money and life. I want to get out of it 'Even Steven'. In other words, I came in with nothing and want to leave it that way.

Five years ago on a wintry January evening I visited a domed indoor golf facility. There were piles of snow on the ground as I walked to the entrance. I was looking at the ground to shield myself from the wind and spied what I thought was a dollar bill wedged in the snow.

I picked it up and saw that it wasn't a dollar bill but a hundred dollar one. Being the good Catholic boy I am I told the man behind the counter about my find without mentioning the exact amount and gave him my home phone number. No one ever contacted me so I kept the money and purchased a low class hooker!(Only wanted to see if you were paying attention). I donated it to my cousin for the Muscular Dystrophy since she's a victim.

I've been down the money finding road before. In 1979 my then seven year old son and I were walking downtown in Davenport, Iowa. Lying on a curb, with no personal information, was a wallet containing $75.00.

I don't know what I would have done had my son not been with me but I felt this was as good a time as any to teach him a life lesson so we went to the police department and turned it in.

I suspect it eventually found its way into the pocket of the desk sergeant but who knows.

I've decided The Queen needed a house cleaner. Actually, she made that decision but I'm paying for the lady to come in and do her work. If you're a young man about to get married this is how it works to make a marriage work. It's sort of like when Her Majesty, just prior to our 25th wedding anniversary, asked me: "Am I worth a hundred dollars a year"? There's an easy answer to this so I said, "Of course, you are". What else can a guy say? Anyway, she came back with: "That's good because I just bought a $2,500 sapphire ring"?

This morning on the way back from the golf course driving range I laid two twenties and a ten spot on the front car seat. Not thinking, I had both windows down. Soon the bills were flying haphazardly
around the front of the car so I immediately closed up the windows. Upon further inspection when I arrived home I was left with thirty dollars.

Some lucky person is going to have lunch on me. I hope they're needy but since I was driving through Muirfield Village in Dublin, Ohio my assumption is they'll be used for a couple of martini's at an upscale bistro.

Then I started thinking about unseen wealth I've accumulated in my life and money that I've lost.
Know what? In the long run I'd like to believe it's going to be 'even steven' when I get outta here.

For instance, my car glove compartment serves as my personal bank. When I get my monthly allowance a packet of twenties is placed in it. Since I don't like using credit cards on a whim along with carrying a wad of bills in my wallet the glove bank serves the purpose. Six months ago I was cleaning out the compartment and three renegade twenties showed in the accumulated clutter. Taking this into account and thinking about today's lost twenty I figure I'm forty dollars to the good.

You readers should make a listing of your own 'even steven'. It'll help you decide if you're an optimist or pessimist.