Today will be it for awhile in providing you with my insight on life. Beginning tomorrow I'll be preparing for a second hip replacement on Wednesday morning. Personally, I'm looking forward to it. I had one eight years ago when I was a kid of sixty-five. I'm interested to find out what improvements have been made in the process. There is a new non-surgical process called the PRP Method. Stems cells are injected in the hip and cartilage regenerates itself. Since Medicare doesn't cover this I'll be using the old method of slice and dice.
The last time around I inquired of my surgeon why my hips were so bad. Was it because, I asked, because I played so many contact sports from the age of 9 to 25. "No", he said, "For twenty years in your job you drove 75,000 miles a year sitting. It wasn't the activity but the inactivity of movement".
Makes sense to me.
I don't look forward to getting cut open even though the scar is an inch in length. I don't like pain of any kind. But, I don't enjoy not being able to walk a block, shifting my sleep positions at night and grunting and groaning when I get up from the sofa.
My orthopedist is the very best. Surgeons come from all around the world to watch him do his work. The very best aspect of having him for my doctor is he surrounds himself with nurses who look like they came off the runway at the Miss Universe Pageant. I like that.
The most important in the entire process is my anesthesiologist. Whenever I'm about to go under I leave him with one admonition, "Hey Doc, don't F it up".
If, per chance, you're into prayer stop for a few minutes on Wednesday morning and say a silent one for Ol' MJ. If I die on the table I die. I've always told Her Majesty when I do go please don't let them cremate me. As bad as I've been in my life I'll burn forever.
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