On Sunday mornings I'll peruse the obits in the Columbus Dispatch. They history books into a persons life. Some are interesting, others educational and, finally, some are boring.
Today I turned the paper to page B9 and saw a photo of a downright beautiful woman. My initial thought was, "what a shame. She's flat out gorgeous, a real hotsy totsy". Then I read her birth and death dates; 1929-2019. Joann Hinkle attended high school at the Columbus School for Girls in Bexley Ohio. Do you know what that means? Her parents were loaded with cash so right away she had a leg up on the public school kids. Plus, rich girls have to be good looking. That's the way God meant it to be.
Most of the obits with pictures are of Black-Americans. I wonder why that is. Obituaries cost a lot of money. Maybe that's why people who live on the south side of town don't have much in the paper about their lives. Usually it's something like, "He loved the Buckeyes, fishing and hunting and sitting on his front porch watch cars and trucks drive by.
When I was much younger I thought I'd have a long obit but with a photo of how I looked when I passed. I've changed my mind. I recently found out how much money, per word, obits cost. It's more than the national debt. The wording of my obituary will read: MJ Hawkeye, 1946-20?? Adios.
I heard a story from a guy who was asked how he wanted to die. He said, "I want to die at 110, shot to death while in bed with another man's wife".
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