The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Done

Pensacola, Florida was deluged with 13" of rain a few weeks ago. It's neighbor to the west, Mobile, Alabama received 19". Well, Hackensack, Minnesota isn't in that category but I doubt in all my years I've been subjected to 7.5" in 24 hours. The one aspect that makes it worse is I could have sworn I put the cover on my boat two nights ago. The word 'bailing' has taken on a entire new meaning. This is they type of thing that makes me stand out in a not so good way and gives my friends a good laugh. I'll call it 'A Biden'. In other words, it's MJ just being MJ. I was in a conversation with a friend, Bob Douds, not too long back and we started talking about the dumbest things we'd ever done. I had the snappy come back of, "drunk or sober"? Actually being drunk doesn't count since you don't know what the hell is going on so we'll stick with the sober one.
It was in 1976 and Lizzie and I had just saved enough money to put up a garage unattached to the house. I was teaching at the time and bringing home the magical sum of $10,500 per year so you know the money was hard to come by. We'd taken our kids to the mall and as we drove up to the front of our new garage(put up that day), I let Lizzie and the kids out due to a torrential downpour and I didn't want them to drown. You've got to understand that I compete in almost everything I do. I said to myself, "I can save some time and not get soaked if I throw the gear shift in park and at the same time jump out of the car and lift the garage door". Well, I started the first part of the maneuver but my hand slipped off the gear shift and the car slammed through the newly christened garage door. Luckily, I was able to track it down before it went all the way through and out of the other end. That would have been real trouble because the back end of said garage sat six feet above the ground. To quote a movie; "Insurance! We don't need no stinking insurance".
Lizzie has the patience of every saint in heaven. "Accidents happen", she said.
So, that's it except the next time I'll have to tell you about the time I was in a golf cart and told my pal, "I think this thing is wide enough to make that bridge".