When The Neat Guys Get Together

Reunions at my age seem to be the norm. It most likely has to do with remembering the old days as joyful occasions and the fact that we're all into the sunset of our lives so we'd better hurry up and share our memories. MJ is hosting a Boone, Iowa high school reunion at the lake beginning today. There will be up to nine of my former high school classmates coming and, as far as we're concerned, we'll still be 18 year olds. When high schoolers get together they never age. I was speaking with my Oklahoma buddy, Big Buff, and he said he never gets together with high school pals. So, last night, I began wondering if our group is unique in this aspect. Most of the fellas coming are from Iowa and Minnesota but one is from Texas and for a three day visit he gets the kudos. Nicknames given in high school follow us forever. That could be a part of the attachment that binds us. I never had a nickname that was printable but the other guys do. In college a frat brother called me 'Loehrer the Whore' but he liked to rhyme words. High school teachers hand out nicknames. When I was teaching I had a kid in a class named Nick Sprague. On the first day of the school year I was going down the roll to identify each student and came across his name then commented; "Nick Sprague, what a cool name. It sounds like a private eye". From then on he was always known as PI for private investigator. In the high school year book under his picture it read: "will always be remember as 'Private Eye'. He must hate me.
So, coming up to visit will be John 'Hing' Hinz, Mike 'Toots' Nyman, Rodney, 'Toby' Anderson, Steve 'Fat' Roeder, Dick 'Spider Legs' Musser, Tim 'Stainer' Ferry, John 'Weed' Hendricks and moi. Nyman did call me 'Lorab' but the significance of that escapes me. Jude 'Crazy Man' Rolfes had to back out at the last minute. Too bad, his nickname is perfect for a group of guys who need livening up.
Weed is flying in from Ft. Hood, Texas. He's a doctor and was summoned to work on the wounded at the Ft. Hood Massacre. he was also a first team all-state football player and took his skills to the Univ. of  Iowa. The really sickening thing about John is that he still looks like a Greek Adonis Can you believe, at our age, he does silly things like run and work out? If you scan back and look at the nicknames guess which guy is in charge of the menu and cooking? Yep, it's Steve 'Fat' Roeder. Except, he isn't really fat and never was. His older brother called him that when he was a kid to get his goat. A number of years ago we were out to dinner with five or six couples and one of the men called him 'Fat'. right away Stevie said, "Hey! You've got to earn the right to call ME Fat". Funny, huh?  'Stainer' got his name from 'Crazy Man' Rolfes, I believe. He had ten brothers and one sister and his bedroom was in a closet. His nickname came from the fact that he wet the bed until he was in his teens. Lucky for me I kept it a secret because that's at least one thing 'Stainer' and I have in common. I'm meeting Tim for golf today; haven't seen him since 1964 and only recently spoken to him but I'll wager big time that we won't run out of things to say. 'Spider Legs' is the best friend I've ever had in my entire life along with Steve Roeder. I'd have to place Dick in the best of the best category because I've known him slightly longer. But, the Roeder's and Hawkeyes have taken family vacations together so I'd say it's a tie between Fat and Spider Legs. Dick and I began hanging out when I was nine. We were inseperable. He's had two or three heart attacks and a defibrillator once brought him back to life. I think the strain on his heart is from being so kind and giving to others. Dick is a hard core liberal so you know I have to love him dearly. He came to the lake about ten years ago and was driving his daughter's beat up wreck of a car. It was plastered with enviro and liberal bumper stickers. I made him park it a hundred yards from the cabin but I did let him in the back door. Love has some limitations.
Toby is the nicest guy you'd want to have for a pal. He's one of those people who can be a Don Rickels, insult the hell out of you and then you'll say--Ha-Ha, "Tob, do it some more". Everybody wants to be Toby's friend.
Toots Nyman has a very dry sense of humor and the good percentage of it is self-deprecating. Most of the guys were above average athletes. Toots made the team and just barely but he is one of us. We all loved going to his house in the 60's. I always thought his mom was hotter than hot. She's now in her early 90's. I visited with her in March and she's just as nice now as she was in '64. Toots, when he was around 16, decided he didn't want to be a 98 lb. weakling so he started pumping iron. Then he got massive. Who knew weight lifting could do that for the body.
Hing Hinz lives in Minnetonka, Minnesota. He's a fabulous golfer or, at least he was, until the ravages of slipped discs began plaguing his body. John held the last reunion at his winter home in Arizona in '10. The best thing about 'Hing' is he's up for anything, at anytime, at anyplace. He's also a mover and shaker and that ain't all bad.
The biggest change in our lives at this reunion, even different from the one we had in Scottsdale, Arizona two years ago will be alcohol consumption. One of the fellas asked for a six pack of beer. Musser said he might have a glass of wine for dinner. I don't know what 'Stainers' likes but he did mention he might be into a martini before dinner. I know the Fat Man will imbibe in a scotch and water but only to perk up the palate before dinner. That's about it for us. The word 'buzz' has taken on a whole new meaning as we've aged. Now it's something that flies around our heads and we keep swatting it with a newspaper.
So, do you keep in touch with high school mates? You really should. What I've found is all the petty little grievances we had in our teens are gone as well they should be. I've told some of the guys to bring a high school yearbook. We'll look at it and then someone will say, "I don't remember that person at all". Then another guy will and a whole new conversation accompanied with hearty laughs and guffaws happen.
The only downside to this entire scenario is it will come to an end; every evening around 10 PM when we decide to hit the hay.
Boone High Class of '64, the best ever!