Buckeyes Are Nuts

It's not easy living in Ohio during football season. It's even worse living in Columbus, Ohio. For this Iowan who has lived in Ohio since 1989 I am and always will be a Hawkeye. Ohioans do not understand this. They'll ask, Why would you support a loser? Easy answer. Because when we destroy you as we did this year it makes my food taste better.

Let me repeat what I've always said about the major difference between Iowans and Ohioans: When I moved here in the latter part of the decade of the 80's I received in the mail a notice from the Iowa Department of Education. It read in part: Upon my departure the intelligence quotients of both States rose dramatically.

I'll be having lunch today with a good friend, a hardcore Ohio State Buckeye football fan. His very large man cave is loaded with Buckeye memorabilia. When something of this nature is given to me I personally pass it on to him. Why would I want to keep this nonsense in my home? I know folks who adorn their Christmas trees with buckeyes which we all know is a worthless nut. Anyway, this guy is so pro-Buck if I came across a dropping from a St. Bernard and etched OSU on it he'd place it on his mantle as a treasured keepsake. The man lives thirty minutes north of me in Upper Sandusky. Ohioans can't even keep their geography straight. An hour and a half north of Upper Sandusky is Sandusky, Ohio. Don't ask me why. I wasn't born here.

Sixty miles west of Dublin is the town of Bellefontaine. It's a quaint community. Read and pronounce the name of the town again. Native Ohioans pronounce it as 'Bell-fountain'. Don't ask me why.

This morning I was looking at my favorite laugh for the day site, knuckledraggin.com. and what should appear but a photo of three nitwits celebrating the recently departed corpse of, I presume, a die-hard(no pun intended) Buckeye.

God help us all.