The Hallmark Channel Fills Male Needs

As you may or may not know I'm a huge fan of the Hallmark Channel. For the last month, there are two Hallmark Channels and they have been showing Christmas love stories around the clock since Thanksgiving. In addition I have a very reliable source that informs me men, by a 2 to 1 margin, watch the network over women.

This doesn't surprise me. The women are hotter than burnt coals. These shows are simple to understand; boy meets girl. The girl has a boyfriend or soon to be husband who is a wimp or he has parents who are overbearing snobs.

Said girl meets a different guy. Typically, there is tension between them but love triumphs all. The original knucklehead, somewhere in the show, puts the hot babe on the spot by getting down on one knee in front of fifty or so people at some posh country club and pops the question. You and I both know he only does this to (a) make himself look good in front of his boss or (b) he is threatened by the new guy in the girls life. The girl is totally overwhelmed and embarrassed with this conundrum.

The hottie might say yes or she might say no. It makes little difference because, and this is why men love the show, the script is so very predictable. We know the outcome before the show begins.. The hot babe is going to end up with Mr. Right and men, all of us, identify with Mr. Right.

If your hubby watches the Hallmark Channel as faithfully as I then he has his favorites. I'm crazy about Lacey Chabert. I'd wager she's been in six different shows since Thanksgiving. Some would call her a worthless harlot considering she's always with a different guy. Not me, though, because I know in real life she's chaste and pure.

Another of my fav's is Erin Krakow. Blind innocence would describe her. She never has to wash her face because it has Ivory soap scrubbed on it 24/7.

Personally, I'm crazy about Katrina Law. If she had blue eyes instead of brown I'd sell my house, cash in my bonds, clean out my bank account and give it to her if only she sat next to me on a park bench.

Eloise Mumford is a cutie but she's too young for me. I peg her for her twenties. The other girls are in their upper thirties or---gasp---early forties. And you do know the rule of thumb for men dating a women; half your age plus seven. So, I'm eligible, at my age, to snap up a 43 year old. Why, I might even be able to snag a mid-thirties babe because--------------I'm Mr. Right!

I wrote about the Christmas Hallmark Channel shows a few years ago. Remember how I stated men love these channels? There's a reason for it. Our brains have one room where nothing happens in it. We like to go there so we don't have to think. It's why men can sit around the house all day and drink beer without a worry in the world except how far are they are from toilet. Women can't enjoy these shows because their brains are wired for non-stop 'what the heck's going on nonsense'. Think about it. When you and your wife go to a movie at the theater she'll pick one where Einstein would have trouble understanding the plot. Men, on the other hand, would be happy to see a cinema with Wile E. Coyote and the roadrunner for two hours.

There are a number of other reasons for my watching these love stories but I can't get too deep in it. One never knows when The Queen will decide to read this blog and I'd like to sleep in my own bed instead of on the couch.