There are two million married couples in this country who want to adopt a baby. Unfortunately, many of these have to go to Russia or the Orient to fulfill their needs. What a pity.
Chicago, with the strictest gun laws in the country, has seen 34 people shot and 5 killed since the Memorial week-end began. The good news is there are only 14 more hours to go, maybe more considering the real action begins after midnight.
Once again it's Memorial golf week in Dublin, Ohio. The real action begins across the street this coming Thursday. I never knew I had so many friends as I do this time of year. You can only imagine how many phone calls I get saying, "Hey buddy, got any tickets". Considering most of these people contact me once a year I tell them a fib. "Gee, I wish I did cause you'd be the first person I'd give to". (Secret) I have scads of them.
It's impossible to fall down your stairs if you never get out of bed. Think about it.
Our 10th president, John Tyler(1841-1845) had two grandsons who are still alive in 2019. Tyler was prolific in the sperm department impregnating his second wife at the age of 75. My hero!
When confronting a polar bear always stand on its right side. 100% of these critters are left-handed.
Do you know the shortest sentence in the English language? If you do then 'go' to first base.
If you're going to have a baby put a magic marker initial on it's back. Every day 12 babies are given to the wrong parents.
Here's a great bar question. The earth weighs 6,588,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons. I don't even Cliff Clavan would know that answer.
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