• Kids can lay on their backs and make "dead grass angels" in the yard.
• Eskimos will be warm enough to rub a lot more than noses.
• Iceland will be renamed simply "Land."
• Avalanches will only bury people up to their ankles.
• The Abominable Snowman will become just another abominable guy.
• Never again hear the phrase: "Your food is getting cold."
• Eskimos' 39 different words for snow can be replaced with the single word "puddle."
• Debate over whether any two snowflakes are identical comes to an end.
• Jack Frost stops nipping at your nose, switches to spying on you in your swimsuit.
• Santa's elves can take off their heavy coats and go back to being leprechauns.
• With no need to hibernate, bears finally catch up on chores they've been "meaning to get to."
• "Seeing your breath" becomes clear evidence of a hygiene problem.
• New holiday TV specials like "The Sunscreen That Saved Christmas."
• Unemployed Saint Bernards start bringing rum to those "buried in paperwork."
• Never wince again when someone says "Ant-ar-tic" instead of "Ant-arc-tic."
• Hottentots will simply be called "Tots."
• Hawaii tourism booms with slogan "It's Too Hot To Wear Our Grass Skirts."
• Plenty of hot water for shower, no matter which knob you turn.
• Brass monkeys lose their fear of winter.
• "Baked Alaska" promoted from dessert to state motto.
Submitted by readers of Stilton
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