Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Forty-eight hours should me more than enough time to decide how to begin a blog post--but it isn't. How does one go about they are a first class nimcompoop?
 How about, "Why me Lord". "I can't believe it happened to me".. I also like, "Please God, forgive me".
My three Wisconsin buddies have left for home and after three days of golf and spending time at Jack's Memorial Golf Tournament at Muirfield Village there's a feeling of physical and mental exhaustion but also joyful one. Except---The beginning is always a good place to start so let's go there. There's a PGA golfer on tour who has had a reputation for getting suspended by not following the rules. His name is Rory Sabattini. He's a South African and quite proficient at his chosen field but sometimes he makes comments to other players to make an ass of himself. He's not the most likeable guy but from what I understand he's making strides to rectify the situation.
Three years ago after Lizzie and I had been at Muirfield for nine months when we experienced our first Memorial. For me, being this close to golfs hallowed ground, was like being a player. We're a stones throw from the course and a number of the PGA players rent condos that surround us. Now please understand I'm not a jock sniffer by any stretch but I do appreciate anyone who is skillful at their work. Anyway, two days into the tourney I was being a wise guy and emailed one of my Wisconsin pals with what I thought was a jocular note. This was about six months before Tiger's wife, Elan, took a 9 iron to his Cadillac Escalade in retribution for his sexual indiscretions. The email read: 'Lizzie and I invited Elan and Tiger over for a nice meal and good conversation. We were having a wonderful time then Sabbatini came over and ruined the entire evening". My buddy emailed be back and wrote, "That's funny". You see, the original note was made up. It was a flip comment I made about my proximity to Muirfield. End of story, right? Nope!
On Thursday, the opening day of the tournament we four were standing on a slight plateau just above the 18th green watching Sabbatini take a bogey. I casually turned to my pal and said, "Remember three years ago when I sent you the email about Tiger and Elan coming to dinner then Sabbatini came over and ruined the evening"? We started laughing. Then a nice looking lady, dark longish hair wearing a long black dress approached me and asked, "What did you say about Tiger"? Well, Tiger being Tiger I presumed she was a groupie or Tiger fan and wanted some gossip. So, I said, "Oh nothing. I was just making a joke". She wasn't smiling! Have you even been dressed down and unable to explain yourself and have the appropriate comeback? I'll let the lady take over. "I didn't appreciate what you said". I'm Rory's wife and I'd like to know what happened". As for my husband it's your opinion only". Then she walked away. I was going to tail her but stopped in my tracks because I knew the more I tried to explain the worse it was going to get. That damned Catholic conscience got in my way again. I felt horrible and embarrassed. I probably shouldn't have because I went on line later and found out some not so nice things about Amy Sabbatini but that's pure and blatant gossip, too.

Today, Saturday, I feel much better. Sabbatini's in first place. I can only hope his wife told him about her experience with me and he was so PO'd he took his anger out on the golf course. If he wins and NBC interviews him on the 18th on Sunday maybe he'll give me the credit. I figure it'd start this way, "Some jerk at the tournament on Thursday-----------".