A Universal Bicycle

There's an area of Columbus, Ohio just south of Interstate 70 called German Village. It has quaint brick homes and a bookstore inside of one of these homes with over forty rooms. There are a variety of store fronts and the obligatory Greenwich Village type of people. Lizzie and I like to go to The Village to people watch as we sip our coffee at Cup o' Joe. Bike riders populate the streets of the community. Did you every wonder why bicycles were constructed the way they were; with a handle bar missing for women? Well, it's obvious that years ago when the ladies wore long skirts the bar wasn't the best for getting on and off. I saw a fella riding to the bookstore and he was on what was a 'womens' bike. Does it seem as silly to me as it might to you that we have to have a men's and ladies bicycle? All that extra bar does for men is create the potential for some serious scrotal damage. As I watched the scenario unfold, the gent getting off the bicycle, it hit me that this was a ridiculous and unnecessary piece of equipment. Except, when I was in the second grade if my parent's had bought me that nifty Hawthorne from Sears Roebuck with a bar down the middle I would have been razzed unmercifully.
 Imagine trying to get up and over a horse. If you happen to be my age this is big trouble. I'd have to put my left foot in a stirrup, push up while at the same time throwing my right leg over the saddle and, kerump, drop my butt on said saddle. Bad hips and extra weight does not make for easy horse mounting. It's the same principle for the bicycle. Now, when us oldsters keep getting older it can be a struggle to lift the leg over the crossbar. So, I say, let's remove the bar. Furthermore, what if some hooligans are trying to harass or rob you and your only for of getting away is your trusty bike. Throwing the leg up and over takes time plus you might lose your balance, fall down and lose your money, your life or both. Let's start a campaign with the bike manufacturers: no more cross bar. It's practical and makes good sense.

While I'm at it I think bike paths should be cushioned with foam so helmets aren't required, either.