Bumper Stickers And Other Junk

If you've read this blog for any length of time you know I'm a collector of all things great and small. Most people would call it worthless junk but we all know the old saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure".

Forget about my thousands upon thousands of now worthless baseball cards, none of which have any value unless they're pre-dated to the 1950's. I can only hope when my grandchildren are my age they might receive a positive return on mine unless they've become close friends with their garbage man.

Also in my possession are Indian head pennies, hundreds of them, from the 1860's. I have campaign buttons, the read deal, from the 1920's to present. A couple of them will give me enough money to buy a Sports Illustrated.

In addition, I'm a saver of crap beggars in Mumbai wouldn't touch. My high school published a monthly newspaper. I've saved them all. I went to our 25th high school reunion and the organizers were selling reprints for $10. I caught hell because I wouldn't open my wallet. My buddy asked why I was so cheap. I said, "Why should I buy these when I have the originals"? It made sense to me and must have to him, too, because he immediately shut up.

Yesterday I found a program from the first Iowa High School Shrine football and basketball game from 1973. I was a teacher and coach at the time and remember telling myself, "You know, someday this is going to be pretty valuable". Reasoning like this is why I'm a salesman's best friend. I looked at the program and saw the name and picture of a then kid from Boone, Iowa, my hometown. He was selected for the football team. My gracious heart told me, "Why not try and find this guy to see if he'd like have it. I found his phone number and left a message explaining why I was calling. So far, no call. That tells you something about what I saved and what it doesn't mean to others along with my lack of business acumen for value.

Our high school basketball team played in the finals of the Iowa High School tournament in 1963. I saved three programs until 2006. I have two great buddies and we've been friends since 1955. For a birthday present I sent each guy a program. I later found out that one of my friends used his as a placemat when he ate his meals. He didn't hurt my feelings. He's slightly quirky and I love him to this day. It just seems wrong that the guy on the cover is plastered with peanut butter and jelly.

There are clubs and collector's for every item on earth or so I thought. I was driving on I-270 in Dublin this afternoon and saw a couple of bumper stickers that intrigued me, then came back to the house to see where I might find out more about these organizations. Over the years I've put a few away. Who in this world would have a Bush/Quayle bumper sticker? Not many. 
As for bumper sticker clubs and organizations there aren't any. This has to be a first in collecting. I know of groups who collect different types of camel dung.

This lack of collecting is sad because bumper stickers tell volumes about a person's personality, what they believe and what they think. When I see  a bumper sticker on a moving car I speed up to get a look at these people. I used to do it with Obama/Biden stickers but not anymore. Obama voters are one of four types: Blacks, union people, old ladies and hippies. In the first place one rarely sees a sticker from 2012. But there are still '08 ones floating around, lots of them. Even I would change my sticker more often than these folks do. I hope they remove their underwear more often than they do their bumper stickers.

On my drive home I approached a VW wagon and the entire back side was covered with messages: Save the planet, No more war, etc. You know the drill. The guy driving was older than Methuselah with white hair and a pony tail. Woodstock lives!

As I left the interstate and got on highway 33 I saw another sticker. You've seen thousands of these :
"Proud parent of a Notre Dame student". I think what it actually means is, I'm a great parent because I've sacrificed my butt to give my kid everything in the world".

The very best bumper sticker I've ever seen happened a month ago, also in Dublin. It follows along the line of the guy who sends his kid to ND but has a far different in meaning.

 It read, "Proud parent of a C student at Worthington Middle School" It made my day. At an oncoming stop light I got the lady to drop her window then gave her two 'thumbs up'.