Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Someone Motivate Me, Please

I'd give anything to be able to turn out a Hemingway type blog but as a major league baseball scout once told me as I asked if it was possible for me to be in the big leagues: "Son, it ain't gonna' happen". You do know that there are two venues where thunder bolts of ideas strike me: in church and while driving. We drove to Destin, Florida from Murchison, Texas starting yesterday It's a twelve hour shot. This one was like a Seinfeld episode. Nothing happened. But I'm always amazed that I can recall towns as I cruise past them, thousands of them, in all states north and south. Maybe I've read about a sports person who grew up in it or some rather odd occurrence, good or bad, that happened. I sped past Kilgore, Texas on the eastern side of the state and couldn't put my finger on why this place stuck with me. Then came the lightening bolt. It was the home of the Kilgore Stepperettes. They were the forerunner of the Dallas Cowgirls. Good stuff, huh? Not many people know this bit of trivia so I think I'll save it for my biography. The ex-wife(read on, no explanation today) and I stopped in at the Louisiana welcoming center outside of Shreveport to get some info on bus tours in New Orleans. I figured it at about a two hour drive. It was more like six so that brainstorm hit the dumpster. Instead I kept my eyes peeled for something special to make the day worthwhile and memorable for you know who sitting on my right. Except for seeing a dead armadillo alongside the highway it didn't happen. Armadillos, though, are interesting looking critters. The Ex, at her brother's behest, had to use a cattle prod on one in her bro's yard to keep it from digging up grass. I can't think of anything we have 'Up North' to rival them in peculiarity. Shucks, we hardly have poisonous snakes in our part of the world and they thrive down south the way Minnesota mosquito's populate. Come to think of it maybe this is one reason Duck Dynasty is so popular: opossums and armadillos probably make for a great stew.
Speaking of Duck Dynasty, we drove past Lafayette, La. That's where Phil Robertson went to college. Then it was on to and through Baton Rouge. It's the second largest city in the state. I always think of Huey Long, the assassinated politician of the Thirties, when I hear it's name. You've heard of him, I'm sure. He wanted to overpower FDR;  "Every man a king" and all that jazz by promising his people the government would take care of them with free things. As we crossed the Mississippi River I saw a large billboard. It read, 'Baton Rouge, the city with a murder rate nine times higher than Detroit'. "Hey, everybody, let's move to the Motor City". From Baton Rouge we put the pedal to the metal and slid into Biloxi, Mississippi a couple of hours later. I think I'd like Mississippi. There's no special reason. It's one of those things people know.
Eight hours of driving and not one thing to write about. Oh, yeah, I did stop at a Burger King and purchased two $1.19 burgers for lunch. True story. It took twenty minutes from the time of ordering to me being out the door. That sentence by itself would make for a thirty minute documentary on the Food Channel. For dinner I ate what meat eats, a Cobb salad. That was a first for me but I'm trying to let the Ex know I've changed my eating habits, until she isn't looking. I told you it was a nothing day.

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