When Lesbianism Goes Wrong

Jennifer Cramblett, like many lesbians, didn’t want a man in her life but still wanted to have a child. So the Uniontown, Ohio, woman went to Midwest Sperm Bank in Illinois.

But the sperm bank made a glaring error that only came to light 9 months later when she gave birth to a beautiful, mixed-race girl. So Cramblett sued the sperm bank, but her case was thrown out of court.

It was Cramblett’s dream to raise a Caucasian child that looked like her and her partner, complete with blonde hair and blue eyes. Although they didn’t need a man to realize this goal, biology dictates that they needed a man’s contribution to the reproductive process.

So Cramblett and her partner went to Midwest Sperm Bank and chose the sperm of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed man.

However, when Cramblett’s daughter, Peyton, was born, she did not have blonde hair or blue eyes. She was obviously of mixed race. The sperm bank had mistakenly used the sperm of a black man. Cramblett proceeded to take the sperm bank to court for “wrongful birth.”

Cramblett stated in her suit that in small-town Ohio she was taught prejudicial attitudes toward minorities and this resulted in her “limited cultural competency” with blacks. She added that she and her partner would have to move to a community more diverse than Uniontown to address Peyton’s needs.

Judge Robert Sutter, however, said that Cramblett could not claim wrongful birth because Peyton was born healthy. The judge informed Cramblett that she could re-file under a negligence claim.

Idiots. The moral of the story is if you're going to procreate know what the hell you're getting into.