A Day Trip To Des Moines

It must be the spring/summer time because I'm on my way to the 1964 golf reunion with fifteen of my classmates. It's a yearly item on my very busy agenda. Maybe not 'busy' but it is an item.

It seems as though every time I fly out of Columbus, O my flight has a 7 am departure which means I'm up at 5 am at the very latest. The least expensive seat came in at $279 which may not seem like much but it is to me.

When going through the departure line I can always plan on a hiccup or two. This morning was no different. First, I had to fly Delta. Personally, I'm a Southwest guy. Delta charged me $25 to ship my golf clubs. Southwest doesn't. This means when coming home I'll have to fork over another $25 so my $279 flight actually costs $329. That seems sort of high to go to Iowa. I can fly round trip to Portland for $500. Go figure.

Going through the line to check my personals I had to lay out my computer, carry on bag, computer back, take off my shoes and belt and then I'm halfway home to the egress but really I'm not. I've a metal hip so I have to go through that jazz. Then I saw my carry on bag with a 'detain' sign on it. I asked about the problem and a young fella told me it had to be checked further of a curious item inside. Guess what? Others who had curious items were thirteen humans. I was the only Caucasian in the bunch. I'm supposed to be the guy with white privilege but evidently not.

The TSA guy finally got to me, opened my bag, and spied a container of shaving cream. Then he threw it in the garbage. I can't tell the number of times I've stupidly pack this item.

Did my flight go directly to Des Moines. Of course not. I'm now at Lindbergh airport in Minneapolis with a 3 hour layover. All told it's a six hour flight. I could have walked from Columbus to Des Moines in this amount of time.

I'm a people watcher. I could tell what part of the country I'm in if I was blindfolded then placed in an airport. Minneapolis is the easiest. 90% of the passengers are obese, really obese. I think they, like
bears, came out of hibernation two months ago and have been foraging for any edible item to pack it back on. And, if I might say so, they're doing one heck of a good job.

The end.