Monday, May 28, 2018

For Old People Only

 Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now
they drink like their fathers.

 Old age is coming at a really bad time.

 When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment. Now, as a
grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

 The biggest lie I tell myself is I don't need to write that down,
I'll remember it."
 
 If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my
knees.

 Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't
met yet.

 Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to
transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advicee 

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.

No comments: