Rodney Dangerfield

I was watching the biography channel a couple of weeks ago and they were show a bio on Rodney Dangerfield. Call me weird but he is so very funny. I think it's because his material is short and to the point and I don't have to think about the punch line.

The bio detailed his life from the very young age of five and it was, to say the least, horrendous. Rodney Dangerfield is his stage name. He was born Jacob Cohen in New York. Seems to me most all New York entertainers were Jewish.

When he was young, born in 1921, his dad was in vaudeville and rarely home. His mother was a witch. She gave the lad no attention at all; didn't even cook for him. Around evening she'd place a sandwich on the back porch for his sustenance for the day.

The boy roamed the streets of New York and the impression given on TV was he jumped in a number of cars with the worst of men to pick up a nickel or two.

I don't wish to go through his life story but it seems to me many great comedians came from homes or were raised in the most pitiful of circumstances. Jerry Seinfeld came from a nice home with nice parents but there are so many who didn't. The hurt inside seems to be a non-problem when in front of others.

I've had many friends who tell me how absolutely hilarious I am, especially when telling self-deprecating stories. If you knew of my childhood you'd understand. I'm not complaining. It's all a part of life and I've had a great one. Even so diversions in reality were needed.

If you're not familiar with Dangerfield I've included some of his one liners. They're classic.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

One year they wanted to make me poster boy... for birth control.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.