Did COVID-19 Spawn Rioting

A phone conversation I had last night with friends from Arizona got me to thinking about the relationship between COVID-19 and rioting waging across the land. I think there's a direct correlation so bear with me.

As of today 99% of the people who have come down with the virus do not die. The ones who have are us old timers with pre-existing conditions. I'm the perfect candidate. My lungs work about as well as my ability to procreate which is never going to occur again.

Do you know that suicides among kids between 10 and 20 these past three months is at an all-time high? Kids are bored. They don't know how to play. When I was a kid we'd grab our gloves, balls and bat and head out to an empty field. We made our own fun.

You may have missed an earlier blog post in which I stated I came down with the Hong Kong flu in 1968. That was the beginning of a 12 month period in which 100,000 Americans died. I literally passed out in my bed on a Monday morning on Dec. 18. I woke up once, the following Wednesday for five minutes then passed out again until Friday night. Would you care to guess what I did the following Saturday evening. The answer is I went to a bar to drink beer and look for girls.

And that's the name of the game now. Young people need to burn off steam. If the governors were smart and wanted to quell the rioting in their states they'd immediately open up the bars. Guys would flock in looking for babes and said babes would want them there. Don't believe me? The old phrase, a guy chases a girl until she catches him, still holds true.

I'd open every bar in the land. Riots would cease because the kids would drink until they passed out or got a girl in the sack or forget what they were angry about in the first place. Better yet, I'd have all the bars in the danger areas give away free beer and I'd request beer distributors to provide the taverns, too. Here's what will happen. The thugs have a choice; break windows or drink free beer. I know what I'd do. Anyway, they'd drink until they passed out then go home and wake up puking their guts for the next 48 hours. Been there, done that! Some of you might say, "what if they get a belly full of beer and take to the streets seeking mayhem? Not to worry. As long as the beer flows they'll drink and then forget about why they were downtown in the first place. I know when guys especially get hammered they tend to lose their minds. If someone accidently bumps into them they'll want to fight but they'll be fighting with crumb bumbs just like them so the problem is now solved.

Trust me when I write the beer thing will work. Democrats want election day to be a holiday so their voters will get out. That's a dumb idea and a great idea for the opposition. If you gave college kids the day off they wouldn't be waiting in line to vote. They'd be waiting in line to buy another pitcher of beer.

I'm too smart for my own good.