For The Inept

Is there anything better than electricians tape and duct tape? I don't think it's possible to find a better substitute for any fix it problem----especially for the mechanically impaired. Naturally, I am writing about myself. I'm the kind of guy who is reluctant to get on an elevator because I can't remember the route. Then when I have to push a button I'm really lost. Putting a gas cap on my car is reason for celebration. Unfortunately for me, I always forget which side of my car has the gas cap so it's a fifty-fifty thing but that's not mechanical. Just like the elevator, it's old age.
So far, this summer, I have with the aforementioned Ace Hardware aids succeeded in repairing a fishing rod, a hammer, a bungee cord on the boat cover, and a part on my mailbox. The interesting thing to me is that when I have achieved success with the tapes it's saved me pennies. I tried and failed to resurrect the capabilities of my fish net. It was a $50 dollar failure. They've made a movie about my life as a fix it man: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. And do you know what? My reputation as a a klutz has spread far and wide. It's how I get people to take pity on me.